tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Christina made a very good point, though she did it in fun. It hit my spot though. "It only took him 8 years to tell me he was gay" she said. I looked at that and thought "That's me, too." And I wondered then how long it took any of us to say to ourselves that we were, well whatever we choose to call ourslves.
I never told myself I was gay when I knew in my heart I was. I said "I love a boy" or "Wow, what a gorgeous boy" or anything except "I am queer" (we weren't gay, or of we were, I was not). I went through teenage, puberty, quasi adulthood, and hit 26 before I mentioned to anyone I "had loved a boy" though I can't recall the words I used.
It was three years and a month agao I first said the words "I am gay", and that was only after my wife had said to me "Is that how you think of yourself?" and I simply replied "I think it is". We married in 1979.
I had a point when I started this. I think it was about being able to admit things to ourselves before we admit them to other people. I don't mean forced admission such as when people are forcibly outed, I mean the internalisation of the often terrible fact that we are irretrievably different from the majority of the population.
Is my experience unusual?
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