|
|
It's been a tumultous few days for me, first period after the board was gone, I missed it terribly. I then came over that, and kind of idled on neutral gear. That ended with the most amazing thing I've experienced in years (I've told a few of you in private), and since then I've been wishing and wanting for more. Yes, it involved a guy, a person I've had my eyes on for a while now. He's quite attractive in a way, at least to me, and it was just a brief and rather shallow encounter if one was to think objectively about it. Despite that, it was quite magnificient. But it also means I lust for more! Much more, and it gets worse and worse for every day that passes! I had a glorious moment and now it is only a glorious memory which is slowly reverting to a bitter memory...
I fear that one moment is all I will ever get out of it, I have no real reason to believe it, but it is a CONSTANT fear that eats away at me. Dammit! I knew this would happen! Why didn't I seize that opportunity properly when I had it? I'm SO STUPID! Now all I do is worry, worry worry, and it's really bothering me! I've been wanting to tell about this for days now, but now that I have the chance I feel I'm only stirring up all that angst again, so I'd better stop now.
Tomorrow is another day, and another chance. Perhaps tomorrow... That is the only hope I cling to. Disappointment is deeper for every day I do not see him. Christ, by now I almost wish it HADN'T happened at all! It's so typical of fate to tantalize me like this and then snatch my object of desire away from me again, I hate that!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Ups and downs... 
