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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I suppose it was inevitable, and the damage is mostly self repaired.
I thought I would be able to cope without a thing touching me. But it was not to be, and I hope it doesn't come back today, but it might.
Today I go to Gloucester on business. I do this about every six months or so. In Gloucester, in the probation office, works the man who is the boy I loved and then obsessed over. Last night many of the old feelings came back and got to me. Wanting to see him. Not even to meet, just to look. A sort of morbid curiosity to see what I can never have lost because I never had it in the first place.
Today I think I can do the trip without tears.
But I want to drive past his office like I used to drive past his house, hoping to see him playing outside. Well, you know what I mean I can't, of course, and I won't.
Couldn't tell She Who Must Be Obeyed At All Times because she is under huge stress because one of our two dogs just has to be choosing this moment to have fallen ill, and she's crying about him, so I can't add more to her burden. So last night I listenedto her going oin about the dig instead of being able to go on about me.
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I hit a brick wall yesterday
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 06:36
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Seems ok
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 13:06
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Question
By: Darren on Thu, 02 May 2002 13:38
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Reasonable thought
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 14:15
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Well
By: trevor on Thu, 02 May 2002 15:13
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Especially because....
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 15:24
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Re: Especially because....
By: Darren on Thu, 02 May 2002 15:35
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Ah so would mine
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 15:52
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The benefit of hindsight
By: Darren on Thu, 02 May 2002 16:58
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I haven't had the "pleasure"
By: trevor on Thu, 02 May 2002 17:58
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Re: I haven't had the "pleasure"
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 20:43
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So difficult to let go
By: Guest on Thu, 02 May 2002 19:49
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HUGE HUG for smith
By: tim on Thu, 02 May 2002 20:50
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I think I understand now
By: Guest on Thu, 02 May 2002 22:36
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smith, I agree fully.
By: lenny on Thu, 02 May 2002 23:46
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Thanks, Lenny
By: Guest on Fri, 03 May 2002 01:20
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No, I can't promise that!
By: lenny on Fri, 03 May 2002 11:39
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Background of the times and their effects
By: tim on Fri, 03 May 2002 07:14
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Re: Background of the times and their effects
By: Guest on Fri, 03 May 2002 12:05
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Some people equate "manliness" with Heterosexuality
By: tim on Fri, 03 May 2002 13:27
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Re: I hit a brick wall yesterday
By: marc on Fri, 03 May 2002 11:01
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I didn't cry
By: tim on Fri, 03 May 2002 13:46
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Re: I didn't cry
By: Steve on Sun, 05 May 2002 03:57
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There is no benefit
By: tim on Sun, 05 May 2002 13:02
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Lets look at it from John's point of view
By: Darren on Fri, 03 May 2002 22:25
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We CANNOT look at it from John's point of view...
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Mini Eruptions and Amnesia
By: tim on Sat, 04 May 2002 10:23
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Re: Lets look at it from John's point of view
By: trevor on Sat, 04 May 2002 03:56
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As objective a look at John's point of view as I can
By: tim on Sat, 04 May 2002 10:21
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Re: As objective a look at John's point of view as I can
By: Darren on Tue, 07 May 2002 00:03
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The "Paedophiles" thing
By: tim on Tue, 07 May 2002 08:56
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Re: I hit a brick wall yesterday
By: kevin on Sat, 04 May 2002 19:46
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Re: I hit a brick wall yesterday
By: tim on Sat, 04 May 2002 22:47
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Re: I hit a brick wall yesterday
By: kevin on Wed, 15 May 2002 03:22
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