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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I seem to have this overwhelming need to contact my nephew, a 16 year old who lives about 300 miles away and I don’t know well. I've though about this for a month and I’ve been unable to reach him by phone, so I wrote the following letter, which I’d love to have y’all comment if you will. Thanks to those who have already given me some input on this.
Background info:
- I hear he had been at least attempting to “molest” his younger half-brothers (there are many) a few years ago
- He has lived with his dad and stepmother for 8 years, with occasional visits to his mother, whose boyfriends may have abused him - she is alchoholic and apparently mostly uncaring
- His stepmom treats him quite unfairly, compared to “her” children
- Dad, stepmom, and dad’s family are all generally quite stubborn, fairly redneck
- Raped at age 2 by babysitter
- Now hitting at least one younger brother
- Seems withdrawn, quiet, few friends
- An uncle (there are many) recently tried to kill his own family, took his own life at police gunpoint instead
- Pretty average, maybe a bit underdeveloped emotionally
- Stepmom has tried to get some type of counselling, father won't allow it
- Not really relevant, but I FEEL like he may be gay - lives in a very redneck, non-progressive, undereducated town
- Yes, I have every intention of keeping my hands off him - I wouldn’t anyway, but that’s the last thing he needs
I have some concerns that although I’m not “out” to my wife’s sister - she suspects that I am gay based on my wife’s discussion of marital issues - she is quite intuitive! Neither “parent” would probably appreciate my contact with their son regardless, but I could talk my way through my intentions if needed - the stepmom has known me all my adult life and the dad is a bit - oblivious? So, I’m trying to be a bit discreet, assuming my nephew never gets mail and they may open it or at least inquire.
(Too bizzarre, while I'm writing this without her knowing it, my wife mentions this kid out of the blue. Seems he just got a job at a daycare. Hmm. ESP? She probably won’t be thrilled I’ve contacted him, knowing my fantasies, but I feel pretty strongly about it and there won’t be hell to pay.)
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Hi, R***,
I tried to call you a few times but wasn’t able to get through, so I thought I write instead. Some of this is a little personal, so it’s probably easiest if you keep it to yourself, especially since I’m making some assumptions that could be completely wrong!
I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see you while I was in **city** a couple weeks ago. I was hoping you could help me wire the new shop/barn if you wanted and maybe we could also get to know each other a bit. I’m sorry that didn’t work out.
I hear just a little about your family situation from **wife** and **stepmom**. From what I hear, sometimes I think you’re getting the short end of the stick, in some ways, in your life. I can’t really change much, but I thought it might help if you had someone to talk to - just to vent or whatever. If you want, I’m happy to listen, to be someone you can talk to when you want, when you need someone to just listen and be supportive, without criticizing or judging you. I’m happy to talk about anything at all and will respect your privacy and not ask you questions you don’t want to answer.
I hope you don’t think I’m “too weird.” I’ve made some friends on the Internet over the last year or so - both young and old - and have found it helpful to be able to discuss my own feelings and thoughts when I’m confused or angry or need advice. Sometimes I can help them as well. This has also really helped in my relationship with **wife** - we went through a tough period last summer. A couple of my younger friends [composites of several, actually] reminded me of you, even though I don’t really know you well, and they seem to be happier after talking with others. I’m just guessing, but I doubt anything you could ever say or think would shock me.
I don’t want to try to be a parent to you or criticize your parents or **stepmom** - I think most parents do the best they can, but we are all human. I just want be a friend you can talk to without worries if you ever need to. I know that some things are hard for most kids to talk to parents about - I still have some issues myself - and I have a pretty open mind.
If your dad or **stepmom** wonder why I’ve written, it’s okay tell them I’m sorry I missed you on my last trip to Spokane and I’ve offered to be there if you want to talk to someone. I’m sure your dad wants what’s best for you. He probably is, and should be, protective of his kids. He can call me, too, if it would help. I can explain that I’m probably overreacting, but I have some friends who just let their feelings and frustrations bottle up for too long for their own good and thought you might want someone to talk to.
Anyway, feel free to call me or write if you ever want. If you have access to e-mail at school or a library, you can also write to me at **addy** or borrow a friend’s e-mail. You can get your own free e-mail at http://www.yahoo.com if you want.
If you call my cell and let it ring a few times, I’ll get your caller ID and can call you right back if I am able: **phone**. I have free long distance on it, and unlimited weekend minutes. I’m not working right now, so during the day is probably best. Don’t be discouraged if I can’t always return your call immediately, I will do the best I can.
Even if you don’t want to talk, now or ever, if you could let me know you got my letter I’d appreciate it.
Take care,
**me**
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Letter to my nephew
By: trevor on Fri, 03 May 2002 03:57 |
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You cannot lose. He can only win
By: tim on Fri, 03 May 2002 07:50 |
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Please help him
By: Guest on Fri, 03 May 2002 11:29 |
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Meanwhile, back at the ranch
By: trevor on Fri, 03 May 2002 15:09 |
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Talk of the year
By: Darren on Fri, 03 May 2002 21:54 |
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Re: Talk of the year
By: trevor on Sat, 04 May 2002 03:25 |
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Just a thought
By: nick on Sun, 05 May 2002 11:30 |
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Adam can help =))
By: AdamAnt on Sun, 05 May 2002 13:01 |
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Thanks, Nick, Adam
By: trevor on Sun, 05 May 2002 15:48 |
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More KidThink
By: Guest on Sun, 05 May 2002 16:39 |
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Thanks, "kid", for the thinking
By: trevor on Mon, 06 May 2002 02:28 |
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You have done your thing
By: Darren on Mon, 06 May 2002 23:35 |
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