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I'm becoming addicted to your emails, please drop me a line, preferably soon(ish)...
Oh darn it, I need to vent! BADLY!
Ok, standard naughty disclaimer. Not so bad this time, but you never know. Some people might be sensitive.
...Naughty-space...
Saw another cutie today, let's call him Blonde. He wasn't quite blonde actually, but I feel like calling him that anyway so SUE me okay! 
Anyway... Blonde was nice and young, not that young is all I turn on to. Asian Dreamboy (whom have faded considerably for me now) is almost as old as I am and way hot too just as an example. He was short too, maybe about 175-ish cm, good-looking bordering on pretty, soft body (as opposed to hard-pumped;), but still really attractive. He had shaved armpits and totally smooth skin without needing to shave; no hair at all except the groin (which was only a few mm:s). And his nipples were quite exquisite you could say, very large for a guy and pink and sort of cone-shaped. Rather feminine in a way actually.
Nothing REALLY happened; he didn't want to do much of anything other than get an erection and look at other guys' erections. Something confused/annoyed me though... Who does Blonde leave with in the end? Me?
No, of course not. Some FUCKING OLD GUY, that's who...!
He let one man feel him up in the shower a while before I was leaving, I caught glimpses of them at least twice (the man would jump away when spotted). And this guy was nowhere near attractive. He definitely had to be over 40 (so MORE than twice as old as Blonde), a bit fat, bald on top of his head.
Ummm, I know I ain't exactly Herb Ritts material, but I was at least 3x better looking than that dude. So WHY did Blonde let him do it? And why did they sneak off together (into a different dressing room than mine, so I had no way of knowing if they just went into a toilet together or really got dressed and left in each other's company). Was it because the guy was well-equipped? Was there money and/or presents involved? Or does Blonde simply LIKE older men? This kind of gnaws at me, I feel I would be better for him than that old fart!  (I don't mean that all men above 40 are old farts; I'm talking about THIS man in particular because I don't like him.)
Ghhhnnn...!
Oh well, I did get my dick blown. That was pretty darn nice...
Anyway, I have been thinking about why I do these things. It's nice in a way, but also stressful. Nice, because, well, it IS nice. Stressful, because it's not really what I want (as I've said before), and I keep meeting guys whom are uninterested in pursuing any kind of relationship with me, which is just enormously annoying. But it's a rather nice way to kind of shore up my flagging self-esteem too... It's not that I can't express myself any other way, but it does feel good to be attractive in the eyes of someone else. Especially people like Cutie and Blonde.
This is a truly double-edged sword. You know what I'm saying?
Can I please have some input here? Not pointing fingers or such (I don't take well to that), but...input. Whatever you can offer, I know it's not easy what I'm asking for... Thanks.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Kevin, why haven't you mailed me?
By: lenny on Fri, 11 October 2002 17:48 |
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Sorry Len (Anglo-American reply hehe) have been working ...
By: kevin on Fri, 11 October 2002 18:43 |
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Thanks, Kev... (Anglo-American response, hehe)
By: lenny on Sat, 12 October 2002 09:12 |
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Have patience Lenny
By: e on Fri, 11 October 2002 18:53 |
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Re: Have patience Lenny
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Your advice makes a lot of sense. But...
By: lenny on Sat, 12 October 2002 09:37 |
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Re: Your advice makes a lot of sense. But...
By: e on Sat, 12 October 2002 18:10 |
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Hey Lenny ....
By: kevin on Sat, 12 October 2002 06:24 |
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Yes, it was... Hehe. Well, nevermind that. Shopping report within!
By: lenny on Sat, 12 October 2002 16:42 |
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Shopping is good
By: e on Sat, 12 October 2002 17:55 |
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