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I'm not sure what to do. For the last couple of weeks there have been more and more people talking of getting hurt and feeling unsafe. This hurts me deeply…
I joined this MB nine months ago almost to the day, on my birthday actually, and I thus met truly wonderful people. Looking back at the posts I made I now see that I told more then I planned, it felt right. For me this had truly become a place of safety.
You see, I tend to stay emotionally detached even from people whom are very close to me; it's just how I am. Only now did I come to see how greatly attached I have become to all of you, how much I care for you- people that I haven't even met in person. This might sound strange to you but understanding just how much I care frightened me, I guess I'm just new to these. All the tension brewing beneath the surface here is just too much for me right now. I feel hurt, violated some how and I'm not even sure why or how.
I'm not sure what to do. I think I will now take a step back and go away for a while maybe get some self control again. I am not writing this to hurt anyone it is just the way I feel. I had to get this off my chest and, as I learned, this is the place for it. Perhaps I'll return quickly perhaps it will take me longer but for now this seems to be my best plan of action.
Lots of love,
Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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