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Coming out is personal and a process, not an act [message #6548]

Wed, 11 December 2002 01:07

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796

Drew had a great expereince. Tom has had one. In the few experiences i have had, so have I.

BUT

Coming out nowadays is a gentle process of choosing whom to come out to, why you are doing it, what you AND they will gain from the expereince, and what you may lose. Kevn, for example, came under work pressure so bad he lost his job.

The scene needs to be right, too. As does your mood.

In the "gay lib" days everyone said "Come out". Some organisations "out" people against their will. But, for all of us, our sexuality is a small part of us, not our total being.

I used to believe that straight people never told you their orientation. I was wrong. Within the first 10 minutes of meeting a heterosexual man or woman you KNOW they are heterosexual. They tell you about children, spouse or lover, and family things. There is an argument that says that gay people should do the same, or they live a lie, especially at work.

Seems to me to be worth a discussion.

Coming out is not a glorious act, in my view. It is simply a gentle (ideally) and necessary process in our becoming at peace internally.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		Coming out is personal and a process, not an act By: timmy on Wed, 11 December 2002 01:07
		It is personal unless you are stripped of the choice...... By: marc on Wed, 11 December 2002 01:33
		All in a perfect world dear Timmy... By: mt on Wed, 11 December 2002 10:12
		Re: All in a perfect world dear Timmy... By: marc on Wed, 11 December 2002 11:43
		Some places in the world do not allow a citizen to leave By: timmy on Wed, 11 December 2002 12:57
		If you don't ask then noone can say no.... By: marc on Wed, 11 December 2002 22:32
		Iran, for example By: timmy on Wed, 11 December 2002 23:07
		Every country has an edge, you walk to it and step over.... By: marc on Thu, 12 December 2002 03:32
		Re: All in a perfect world By: tim...of usa on Wed, 11 December 2002 13:09
		Re: All in a perfect world dear Timmy... By: mt on Thu, 12 December 2002 09:35
		First......... By: marc on Thu, 12 December 2002 10:47
		Re: First......... By: tim...of usa on Thu, 12 December 2002 13:21
		It is sad to think......... By: marc on Thu, 12 December 2002 15:23
		Re: It is sad to think......... By: tim...of usa on Thu, 12 December 2002 18:11
		oh and add this By: tim...of usa on Thu, 12 December 2002 18:14
		I never said I wear a gay badge on my lapel..... By: marc on Thu, 12 December 2002 23:08
		Re: I never said I wear a gay badge on my lapel..... By: tim...of usa on Fri, 13 December 2002 03:28
		As you wish..... By: marc on Fri, 13 December 2002 06:12
		thanks for your point of view, and respecting mine...hugs By: tim...of usa on Fri, 13 December 2002 13:12
		hmmm. By: trevor on Fri, 13 December 2002 03:29
		OK..... I'll give it a shot.... By: marc on Fri, 13 December 2002 06:32
		Thanks, Marc. By: trevor on Fri, 13 December 2002 07:13
		If you are happy..... If you know who you are..... By: marc on Fri, 13 December 2002 13:05
		Re: If you are happy..... If you know who you are..... By: trevor on Fri, 13 December 2002 18:46
		Obliged to come out.... That is a hard one.... By: marc on Fri, 13 December 2002 20:37
		Obliged to come out.... That is a hard one.... By: marc on Fri, 13 December 2002 20:39
		Re: First......... By: mt on Sun, 15 December 2002 14:06
		Re: All in a perfect world dear Timmy... By: timmy on Thu, 12 December 2002 21:51

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