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Anybody in the MB family, especially with experience with women, please enlighten us about the accuracy of these definitions...some of them sound a lot like my Man in Thailand, actually...hehehe
Will women see the humour in these as much as men?
1. "Fine"
>
>This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they
>are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you
>should shut up. NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will
>cause you to have one of those arguments.)
>
>2. "Five minutes"
>
>This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
>football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel
>that it's an even trade.
>
>
>3. "Nothing"
>
>"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
>usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
>inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
>argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
>
>
>4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
>
>This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the
>result will be that the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll
>have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
>
>
>5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
>
>This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want
>because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a
>few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in
>about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
>
>
>6. "Loud Sigh"
>
>This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
>frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a
>complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
>arguing with you over "Nothing."
>
>
>7. "Soft Sigh"
>
>Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few
>things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily
>content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the
>moment will last a bit longer.
>
>
>8. "Oh"
>
>This word --- followed by any statement --- is trouble. Example; "Oh, let
>me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night."
>If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk,to the nearest exit.
>She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes
>out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
>("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a
>lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised
>eyebrows "Go ahead", sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't
>bring myself to write about them.)
>
>
>9. "That's Okay"
>
>This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
>man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard Before she has
>decided what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay"
>is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow
>"Go Ahead". Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some
>mighty big trouble.
>
>
>10. "Please Do"
>
>This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the
>chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a
>chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you
>shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
>
>
>11. "Thanks"
>
>The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning.
>Just say "you're welcome."
>
>
>12. "Thanks A Lot"
>
>"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say
>"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually
>followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous
>way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she
>will only tell you "Nothing."
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Funny, altho perhaps not politically correct... 
