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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Hi,
This is my first time posting here, but hopefully not my last.
I'm an 18 year old American living in France until May. I'm a closet homosexual in my hometown, but here in Europe I've enjoyed a little freedom, and have been more open about my sexuality. However, having grown up in the conservative family that I did, I'm still dealing with a lot of "issues" (God I hate that term), and was looking for others' opinions.
My question to everyone is: Does homosexuality really make sense? Physically - Males and females naturally engage in intercourse, while for gays amatomy itself rebels against their physical relationship. Although often unwanted, conception is an indication that hetero intercouse is natural. Anal sex, as a contrast, leads to penile infections, tears in the anus, and other consequences. Psychologically - Studies, history, and logic itself indicate that humans need both the masculine and feminine influences found in hetero parents. Gays as children themselves have negative correlations. I've read stats (that I didn't memorize) that say a high percentage of gay males didn't have a good father figure. In the absence of specifics, one just has to ask any number of gays to compile a list of such men.
The above is not a very well formulated arguement. I'm just voicing the doubts in my head, so its a bit scrambled.
I'm looking forward to any insight people might have. Thanks!
icallmei
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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... but ultimately more than anything else I gotta do what "feels right" even if I think the arguments for being straight are as valid as all the arguments for being gay. Me being attracted to guys seems to come naturally, I don't know the reason why, I don't proclaim to, all I know is it feels right for me. You gotta work out what feels right and is practical for you, too, then regardless of logic you go with that, because while science and whatnot continues to change, develop and sometimes even go in circles one thing that hasn't changed is human emotions, and the value of love. That being said I'll now let the extremist gay guys here tear you apart with statistics that say being gay is okay... 
-Shem
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Sure! Question things boldly, that's what this place is all about!
My career has helped me ask similar questions, and answer some of them, at least for myself...and also led to other questions as well.
Same sex sexual behavior is seen in most mammal species, and nobody really knows "why" there is such a range of behavior and/or orientation. (I differentiate between orientation and behavior because some who are "straight" in orientation still engage in same sex behavior is some situations.) "Why" seems to be more in the realm of religious and spiritual thinkers.
People DO need the stereotypical "maasculine" and "feminine" styles of nurturing/mentoring/training/support, but whether these come from males and/or females seems to be irrelevent. There is no special need for the standard issue hetero parent set.
The "negative correlations" you speak about amongst gay young people has mostly to do with the negative impact of homophobic society, and more benign societies find no measurable differences between the mental/emotional states of gay and straight youth.
It makes just as much sense to be gay or bi or whatever as it does to be hetero. Propagation of the species isn't the issue, but rather population control is the bigger problem. That's true in all other species as well. Maybe some of us are meant NOT to procreate to keep some sort of balance in the bigger picture.
There are as many "studies" that show the presence of a domineering mother as a causitive factor. Or a weak father. Or the number of the gay person's older brothers. All these studies are inconclusive due to the absence of large enough control groups to make any sample statistically significant.
One thing that has been known for ages: twins (both fraternal and identical) are almost twice as likely to be gay as non-twin siblings.
Nobody knows why that is, either!
Keep asking questions...this is fun, as long as nobody gets dogmatic or defensive!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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Fantastic topic and fantastic posts.Really blows the socks off me. If I may be so bold and step in with a very respectful opinion,I would suggest a strong GOD concept for the gay person.And I clearly make the distinction between religion and FAITH.This is very important,as religion can become twisted with dogma.Strong faith originating from the spirit or soul cannot be so twisted.Why is this so important? Perhaps this faith empowers those to accept the diversity and wisdom in Gods creation.Giving those the power and strength to deal with adversity and a very confusing world. What helped me in my life walk was the conviction that GOD doesnt make junk and HE does not make mistakes. For whatever purpose we were created really does not matter.Worlds will not shatter,fire and brimstone will not consume the earth if we are gay or straight.I truely believe. Why concern ourselves whether or not what sexual preference we are.Just my opinion that we are all part of HIS power and great love. rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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"All sex is hilarious and ludicrous"
Now, working form there, homosexal acts are necessarily "unsatisfactory", since a man has no "easily usable orofice" into which a penis may be inserted. Add to that the fact that an anus needs "training" to allow easy penetration, and this all supports your initial point.
There has been some research, not yet widely published, that shows that homosexuality is totally natural, though, and that homosexual male animals will happily attmept mating with other male animals (note, NOT females, even if the female is on heat). The mounted male seems content to be penetrated. I suspect a large penis size would militate againstthat, though!
What does make sense is recreational erotic play. Look at the Bonobo ape for that. They shag anything that moves!
Non penetrative sexual acts are simply great fun. We humans seem to assign a major significance to penetrative acts which is far beyond that which they deserve.
Homnosexuality can never make sense to a heterosexual perosn. To a homosexualone it makes great sense. It depends on your frame of reference.
I suppose the key question is "Why is the prostate where itis?" If it were outside then being buggered would be far less fun! AND more str8 guys would know about it!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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Just an opinion,but sexual action without some form of commitment or love seems empty and without meaning.The very thought of having recreational sex without a LOVE component leaves me very uncomfortable. no offense Timmy,just an opinion. rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I happen to agree with you, but the questioner was looking more, I think, at the practical aspects of sex.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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BTW didnot you know that it was us YANKS that invented sex. rob
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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No Message Body
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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You are quickly becoming the board's answer to Mr. Checkov.
Kirk: "Does everyone know about this grain but me?"
Checkov: "Not everyone, Kepten, it's a Russian inwention."
Think good thoughts,
e
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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thanx for the compliment.Please remember that star-track was an American invention (i thimk).I just wish those jerks would include some gay episodes! hehehe rob
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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Not to be mean spirited and im only joking,but please tell me why it took you guys sooooo long to catch on.Those roos MUST have something going for them. rob
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ANY sex without love is pretty unsatisfactory. I speak from personal knowledge.
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words
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ANY sex without love is pretty unrewarding
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words
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rbryce
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 216
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of course I cannot resist stating that any love without sex aint too cool! hehe rob
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Being gay means to be able to fall in love with another person of the same sex..... Not just having sex.....
But sex is alot of fun, make no mistake about that.....
The difference between unsatisfactory sex and damn earth cracking good sex is in being able to do it well.....
And like the old saying goes..... Practice makes perfect.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Being gay means to be able to fall in love with another person of the same sex..... Not just having sex.....
But sex is alot of fun, make no mistake about that.....
The difference between unsatisfactory sex and damn earth cracking good sex is in being able to do it well.....
And like the old saying goes..... Practice makes perfect.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Welcome! For what it's worth, some women enjoy or even prefer anal sex (just to further confuse the issue!) And, I'm sure there are some gay guys would don't especially enjoy it - preferring oral, front-to-front, etc, and/or greatly prefer just top or just bottom. And, some straight guys enjoy a dildo now and then. Different strokes for different folks and maybe a little variety now and then to spice up life (hey, I've only had one partner and for 20 years, if you get my point. Not that point, silly, we've just met!)
Really, there are so many aspects of "gayness" (icky word, imho, but it gets the job done) but I don't think it's acts so much as who you are naturally (or unnaturally if you like) drawn to. As I alluded to, most acts can be accomplished to some degree with either gender.
Okay, it's not worth a new thread, but a bumper sticker I saw the other day and loved (for probably too many reasons to list): Yes, my tits are real. Tiny print: And so is my penis!
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Re: If I might be so bold... 
Re: I start with this premise: 
Good one Rob 
Re: Yes, we actually survived on asexual reproduction before America.. 
