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Now it's one week counting upwards, right? Thinking of you both, and wishing you well in your new adjustments to each other and being together!
Fingers crossed, and sending good thoughts!
Meanwhile, my countdown continues...43 days to go until Thailand!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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save your good thoughts
i sent him home to his mommy on saturday
i am not ready to deal with some one as needy as he is
ok so i am an asshole...so be it
peace
tim
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I'm very sorry to hear that it didn't work out.
But I must admit that I'm not sure why you think you're an asshole...one way to look at the whole thing would be to say that you took a chance, tried something, made yourself vulnerable, and it didn't work out.
Would you rather have not taken the risk and therefore never know what might have happened?
Of course, that's easy for me to say, since I'm not in your shoes right now...
Make sure you talk to your friends. Email me if you want...
Hugs!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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no more chances
no more risks
no more trying
peace
tim
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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THIS post at least. The next? Nope. Risk it as often as it takes.
I've written to Jeremy to say the exact same thing.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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His email addy when he posted here no longer works. Can you email me one privately, please?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Timmer, my friend. You were brave, you tried, you did your best. The right one is out there for you!  Look, you've already tried twice in the time I haven't dared to do anything!
We're your friends, and we will support you.
{{{smith-Hug!}}}
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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That a person is so involved socialy, so popular, so outgoing that he had to travel who knows how far to take a shot at a relationship?
Did you think it would be the end all to romance????
It takes time to get to know a person... a lot more than a week.
And it takes effort to make a relationship work... alot of effort... a lifetimes worth...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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your so right mark
i am a big ass
what do i know about anything
i'll just shut up now
peace
tim
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The words Marc used were unvarnished, sure. But I truly do not think he meant to put you down.
I read them as more an injection of realism, maybe?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Timmer, Jeromy, guys.....
Idunno, sometimes these things work out for the best. To be honest, I find that when people from the outside of a relationship comment on what happens inside of a relationship, those on the outside rarely know enough to be able to say anything close to good advice, and especially when you are in the throes of it all. You've both been hurt, that much is clear. But don't listen to anything any of us has to say about whose fault it is or what should have happened. Know that we all support what you guys tried and we cry a little with you. Also know that anytime you want to tell the rest of us to shut the hell up and pack it in, you do that too. Don't let the nay sayers drag you down.
So it didn't work. Love is always a chance to take and you were both brave enough to take that chance. That's a heck of a lot more than most people will ever do. I hide behind a psuedonym. I know people who I could never admit to being bi to, simply because they, while still my friends, aren't equiped to deal with what that might mean. OR to how that might affect what they believe our relationships are built on.
Be strong, guys, both of you. Like one of my favorite songs says... "Keep and open heart and you'll find love again, I know!"
D'Artagnon (the fencer not quite ready to take his own mask off yet guy, beware the razor wit)
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Timmer.... I wasn't trying to you or anyone down. What I said is totaly true though... It takes work to make any relationship work, a lot of work. Perhaps you both just jumped into something too fast... After all it is alot easier to fall into lust than it is to fall into love.
Don't give up.... Never give up.... To just throw in the towel would be a sad thing indeed.... Because there is happiness out there for you.... I am totaly sure of that....
If I could do what I had to do to go and get Kevy I am absolutly convinced that there is no obsticle too great, no phobia too intense, no fear too dark to overcome to find that spark of happiness that shines for you.
Sometimes being with someone means that you have to hold them and protect them from all the baddies out there. Sometimes it meand that you have to allow yourself to be held when you need it as well.
Kevy and I met online... We have been together almost 3 years now and we have been working hard at building a life together. It has taken alot of time, money, tears, and sometimes even an arguement or two to get where we are today.
I know online relationships can work from experience...
But it was a very hard won experience, and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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Good words, Tim. The truth. Marc is right about not giving up or shutting down but always staying open to what can be.
{{{{hugs}}}}} to you both.
smith
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Jeremy
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 9
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Well I jsut had to ready what was being said curiosity has gotten the best of me one road has already been chopped off behind him.
I hope Tim the best howerver with his attitude I doubt he will get it.
For those of you intersted in what happened besides vague I gives up or I'm sending him home to mommy here is what happened.
I arrived Monday morning he was very standoffish... Was nothing like he potrayed himself online. Basically treated me like I was his housekeeper than a bf. He belittled at me just cuz I didnt make the bed to his liking. At the end of only 6 days he informed me he didnt want me and told me I had till 4pm that day to leave or I'm on the street. What was his reasoning? He said I wasn't outgoing enough cuz I didnt talk to his roomie much? Gee now why do I seem to remember telling him I'm really shy...? And moving 1400 miles to someone I hadnt even met isn't exactly going to bring out the best out of me.
And yes I am very needy... All I wanted was a hug every now and then or to cuddle. He was more interested in watching tv or paying attention to the dog. =)
Now I am quite aware it's my word against someone that you know oodles more. Nor am I going to compete. But just be careful with him. I didn't really come here meaning to start anything nor am I prolly coming back. For those of you wanting to get in contact with me my AIM is Slayers Fan on AIM and email you can reach me at seriyuuseishi@yahoo.com
*huggles to you all*
What goes around definitely will come around ^_^
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Timmer,
Like I said, being "together" is to be a partnership not a dictatorship.
Jeremy, I totaly understand. But it just may be that Timmer was not aware of the things he was doing. It is after all a huge adjustment for him as well.
As for his "roomie"????.... Oh well.... You moved there to be with Tim, not to be entertainment for his roommate.
Timmer, frankly, how can you expect someone to enter into a relationship with you, to share your life, when it is already being shared with a "roomie"??????????????
How?
Oh and Jeremy,,,, Don't think you have to leave the board just because things didn't work out with Timmer. Quite the contrary....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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No Message Body
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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it had a lot more to do with then just my room mate and making a bed.
but you all believe what you want and make your comments as you see fit.
peace
tim
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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as you know you came her to be a BDSM relationship.
and as for your on going threats, yes i read your LJ to see that you made it home, save you breath and typing your threats and those in the chat room mean nothing to me at all get out of your little cyber life and step into the real world.
later
tim
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Well it MATTERS, but not the way you think.
Tim, relax a little. Only you and Jeremy know the parameters of the expedition unless you carry on making them public.
Jeremy, I guess it was a challenging experience, and you also need to relax.
Guys, it just didn't work out is all. Better to know now than in 6 months time.
None of us outside this relationship that was can place values on it, so let's just help the guys pick up the pieces.
There are other potential partners. Patience will find them for each of you
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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It just wasn't meant to be, I think. Stay a while and play here.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I mean, it can easily happen even between people that know each other intimately, and I suppose, much more easily between two that have only had an internet relation previously.
I'm not interested in placing blame, I am much more interested in your mutual well-being. I think you should stay, and now that you and Timmer know each other a little better, you can start anew and rebuild your friendship.
Maybe you aren't suited to live with each other, but I hope you can still be great buddies! Maybe I am a sap for hoping this, but then so be it.
Please stay with us, Jeremy!
Thank you so much for the huggie, and please accept one for you too.
Sincerely:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The important thing is to go on.... don't give up....
It would be nice if you both could be friends....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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