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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Hi
This is my first time really expresinning this with anyone about this. Im 16 and I am stuck...
I thnk I'm in denile you kno. I like girl's but theres just something about boys that just infatuates me. LoL. Man i never thought i would share this with ne one.
Well I guess that makes me bi but I guess u can say im still in the closet on the gay side.
My life is kinda funny. I live this life were I'm all hardcore harlem shakin hip hop loving latino. but then theres this side that just cant help to love it wen i see a cute boy...
i guess u can say i have it kinda lucky too. the boy who i have my thing for is my best friend, and well at my skool acting gay (as in messing around) is taken in with laffter and smiles. best part is wen he sits on my lap and hes holding me. i dont kno how to explain it hes just an awsome boy whos got this killer smile and buetiful face. and this is a private christain skool. hes not gay and he knos nuthing bout me having this thing 4 him.
hehe but then theres part of me that wen a muchacha latina atractiva comes by i get a hard on too.
i guess its all bout growing up. it kinda hard especially with all this peer pressure and the way people expect you to act.
oh god i just love him sooo much....
and her too...my little latina con massa (lol dont ask its just a fetish)
phew...i feel so releaved
im glad i can come here and ramble on and let it all out.
ill be droppin by....i like this site...its pretty cool...also if ne one can get in contact with the guy who made the story "Educating Max" tell him hes gotta finish it, its a great story there are a few corny parts but who cares lol.
be back lata
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Welcome!
Someday (hopefully soon), you'll be able to change your screen name to "I just DO know".
Keep talking about it (and continue to use this place to do so). Even though there are those of us who will offer suggestions and opinions from time to time, you may just end up answering your own questions (and that's probably the best way).
We do not remember days...we remember moments.
Cesare Pavese
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Well my friend i know exactly how you feel, yes i am going to be 16 soon and i do have feelings for those hot, breathtaking, cute guys at my school. What i do is just listen to what my friends have to say about gay people and many times it scares me to hear the things that they say. I just don't know what i would do if i ever tell them. On the other hand maybe i'm just seen things and they are scare as much as i am. Then we would be trap in a circle, wouldn't be?, me waiting for them to say something or make a sign and then wait for me to do something or give them a sign. I don't know , i just talking nonesense here, don't pay any attention to me.
"Latinas con masa" i have seen several of those at my school and they too take my breath away. Well use of words!
Well, Right now i'm just trying to take it easy. I know that perfect guy will come sooner or later.
By the way, i'm glad you came here took the time to express your feelings. Although i am not very active on the messageboard i do come here often to check out some the topics being discuss here from time time. Many times it gives me ideas on how to approach life's problems a different way or just maybe learn different points of view. At least that is some of the things i get from here. You find out for yourselft.
Remember a great group of people will always be here to help you or maybe answer some of the questions you might have.
Sincerely your,
A friend that decides to call himself M.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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That's the only advice I can give. Society makes us all too ready to label ourselves, but just because you like a guy it doesn't make you bi, or gay.
Timmy, the webmaster of this website is married to a woman that he loves more than the world, but he is still gay. Just take some time alone in your thoughts to work out how you feel, and leave the labels to sort themselves out.
As for the guy you like, you may want to tell him eventually, you may not want to. I think most of us here have really happy stories and really sad stories about confessing our secret love to the objects of our affection. It is possible he is in the same position as you, it is possible that he doesn't like you at all, it's hard to know, especially for those of us miles away on the internet.
Basically I say just be yourself and try to do anything you are comfortable with. Personally, as a 17 year old I was quite comfortable to go out with my best male friend and publically kiss him, dance with him at school social events, etc. That may not be comfortable for you, though; you may not even feel comfortable letting your friends know you have some attraction to males, let alone strangers.
Just take things slowly and do what is right for you. There is a lot of pressure from the world out there, but I found there is a lot of pressure on the internet, too. There are a lot of people that try to help you find out who you are, but in the process just push you towards something you aren't ready for.
Anyway, I'm rambling again, but if you want to chat or something my AIM SN is 'Saben the 4th', my YahooIM ID is 'sabenthe4th' and my MSN is 'sabenthe4th@hotmail.com'. But anyway, welcome, good luck, and I hope you enjoy your stay 
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You are aroused by each gender and love this one gorgeous boy. That's ok. It is likely that you will not yet be stable in your orientation, and that you will waver between genders probably for all your life. Most men who are man enough to admit it are the same.
As soon as you take a label, then you become that label. So saying "I am heterosexual" or "I am gay" or even "I am bi" kind of fixes you, and is unwise unless and until you are ready.
Orientation tends to depend not on how we love, but on how we want to act sexually. Love is a simple emotion. It strikes whatever the gender. Sex is different. It is physical, messy, and faintly ludicrous. What you want to do sexually starts to determine what basic orientation you have.
I wonder if that helped you or made it more difficult?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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As the saying goes "the more I learn the more I learn there is to learn", your comments go deeper and try to get to the heart of the matter, but as you get deeper things also get more complicated.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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It's only messy if you don't kow what you are doing.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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But seriously, welcome, new guy! I like the way you express yourself, and you must have a good heart as well as a good mind to be sooo clear about your questions right now.
No, really. I think knowing clearly what the questions are is almost as important as knowing what the answers might eventually be...
I also agree about not rushing to label yourself as anything right now. Don't tie yourself down.
Welcome again! Grab a chair and stick around awhile!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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This is a great place to ramble, so I am also glad you dropped in. Our "family" here is a diverse group with different experiences, attitudes, and cultures, so there are lots of opinions and ideas. As you may have noticed, even some of us "geezers" are only recently coming to terms with our sexuality, fantasies, preferences, attractions, etc. - so you are certainly in good company! Those who have already "caught a clue" are good company too, as you will see.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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ok i think some of ur words have helped me a bit...
ok so hear wat i thnk i thnk i shouldnt worry about my oreintationation or however u spell it. wat i like is wat i like and i cant change that. i had alot of time to thnk in summer skool. i cant help if my best friend is cute and i cant help if i feel the way i do about him, shouldnt best firends have some love between em ne ways. girls well the last girl firend i had was a....NE WAYS she did the dirty while we were goin out and i didnt hate her for it even tho i wish i was the one to give it 2 her first and i broke up with her and scince then i dont really look at some girls the same ne more...i see some as evil scheming B-bombs.
im glad to kno some of u at least responded lol. gotta love the messy stuff but not right now hehe. i got summer skool and well scince im coming from a private skool 2 a public its even mor terrifiying cuz some of the guys are really cute...idunno wat it is bout little boys...not like the little ones litterally but like the kind that look like they are still 13 or 14 lol.
hehe wats funny is this monday i started summer skool and there is this one boy in class who is cute but he looks like hes sad like so sad makes u wanna cry (but u kno being my first day and all cnat be actin like a punk now)...at first i thought he was gay too cuz he was wearing this funky azz sandals like grass on em im sure some of you have seen it. i have a foot fetish too so....lol i have alot of fetishes i dunno why alot of weird ones
also i wanna kno about that guy who said latina con massa he likes em too? do u kno wat i meant by that. i like girls with meat.
ne ways to the point today this fine azz girl came in the class and guess who she decided to sit next 2...oh yeh ne ways so i got this guy and this girl i both like its kinda weird to me but i guess thats becuz im comming to terms with who i am.
ne ways i wounder if im the first of my kind to post on these boards. i kno im not the first in the whole wrld cuz i remember hearing something bout these gay rappers i forget there names i thing they are called rainbow thugs or sumthin ne ways it was funny 2 me.
so...lol just letting these thoughts out.
oh man life really is funny sometimes...i think i said that in my last post but i dont care...
okk so heres some more bable
my story is
i used to live in key west (who knew lol to some of u who know the story of that place i find it ironic or wat ever im sure u get it) and then i moved up to central florida during the middle of my highskool year in key west. and finished out the year out at a public skool up here. so ne ways there was this one kid at skool who i thought was cute in a hard way like he was like a hardcore skater punk. i never talked 2 em and i realy didnt have but 2 firends at this public skool up here. lol and one of em wasnt a really good fired but thats beside the point. so ne ways this kid goes to my youth group one night with his sister and come to find out he was going to the same private skool i would be going to. yet more irony. so at the private skool we become really good firends. and for even more irony we both have to go to summer skool back at the public skool i went to at the beggining of the year i moved up to central fl.
ne ways i failed 9th grade that year so i redid it but if i didnt redo it i guess i wouldnt have met my best Friend (the one i like). well i would hve scince the private sckool is so small (bout 300 students) and even if i did meet him we wouldnt have been so close to each other (firendship wise) and thats why i thnk it was kinda ment to be...lol...plus the fact that we both went to juvy for a night omg i cant believe his mom forgave me but she loves me and i love her. and she lets me drink in her house but only a lil  hehe my mom would kill me if she knew.
if u have read up to this long im sure u wouldnt mind finishing it.
ne ways...its funny too that my other good firend, she like him and i kinda resent her for that becuz they have been going round and round for months now. she likes him and he likes sumone else at least i think. and its kinda screwy cuz shes like hard core gangsta girl and hes a wigger. but i was cought in the middle of it and to make matters worse i called the girl he liked trailer trash and he was mad at me for bout a week. lol i had a bad sinking feeling and i even cried once at night just thinking bout stuff.
hehe then this saturday i went over to a firends house who was another boy she liked, i went over cuz i knew she was over there and i hadnt seen her in a long azz time (lol she calls me her big latin teddy bear...think it has ne thing to do with me being 180 lbs? nah coulndt be) and well lets just say his bedroom got a lil shakey for 20 minutes lol i thought it was funny really becuz she thought me and his sister didnt hear ne thing i told my friend i did hear and she was laffin too and the boy was playin stupid...but if it makes her happy. and all while that was going on me and the boy sistem were just sitting there cuddling for no reason ( i think i have the affect on people but i dont like to brag) and i must say i was felt very safe with her she was stroking my hair as i layed on her leg...then she broke the silence by saying i had dog hair ( i cnat help it if my hair is thick ) but it was in a funny way not a diss or hateful way.
oh yeh i just thought of something else to bable about 2
i was thinking in summer skool " you kno i dont really think it would be wrong to like him seeing as hes my best freind and all and he should think like that too" but im not going to test those waters. i thnk it is better to have friend who doesnt kno then to have an enimy who does...and if we ever to experiment or become intimate the first words i would say are "i always have and always will"
man it feels good to get all this out
love peace and hair grease.
ps: i wounder if i should approach this boy at the public skool, it looks like he needs a friend but it takes me a while to get adjusted my self...i hope i can get to kno him better.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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My main point, I think, is not to accept a label from others, nor to label one's self without very careful thought.
The moment one takes that label "gay" the world expects one to wear pink angora tight sweaters and tight black PVC trousers, to walk with a mincing action and to talk in a camp manner. Patently this is a media stereotype, and not correct except in a minority of cases.
One grows through different attractions, and through different loves. It is normal, healthy and right to do so. One may love without being sexually attracted and be sexually attracted without loving. Or neither, or both.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The lad at summer school? Be his friend. No more and no less. We can never have too many friends
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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welcome bro,
the kewlest part about here is you can be who ever you want to and no one really gives a shit.
lol...you made me laugh when you were like...oh yea i got a lot of fetishes....so do i dude, but that is for later.
peace
tim...of USA
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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lol i notice some of u were saying just act ur self. well lol i cant really change who i am i mean even tho some of u might think oh he likes rap becuz its 'in' that isnt the case really i grew up in the projects all my life and had to deal with things most people shouldnt but it doesnt matter. lol im still in the project now i love it here i feel at home weather keywest projects or central fl projects its all good 2 me.
sure rap is in now im kinda happy becuz its bringing out more people who i didnt even know were out there (big ups to joe buddens hes got some good shit)
but also im not just ihnto rap i have expanded my horizons wen iu moved up here
i love techno and reggae and dancehall its got good beats. maybe you guys should check it out sometime...even the older people. lol believe it or not im a huge bob marley fan
so just to let u guys kno even tho my oreintation is blurry right now still doesnt mean i cant change my past. lol talkin bout it brings back memories im gonna have to break out the old yearbook.
ps: if neone else on these boards lives in central fl please dont be shy i woulndt mind meating some of u guys
pss: hey just thought ide tell u guys try and pick up this song even if u might not like it i love this song. just to give u a hint of my style.
look for rasta man chant by bob marley and busta rhymes
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I loved reading it!
Of course, not being totally up to speed with all the slang and expressions and stuff (and I have no idea what the significance of the Florida Keys is), I couldn't grasp the full meaning of your great, meandering tale, but I still loved it.
You seem to have many friends, and that is good, and like Timmy said, we can never have too many, so if you can befriend this sad one in summer school that would be really cool too.
As for if you should try anything more with either the friend you like, or someone else... Well, we all can give advice about that til the cows come home, but in the end only you can decide. I am sure you know the possible consequences of either do or don't, you just have to do a risk/benefit analysis of all your options.
The safe option is of course to do nothing at all except be a friend, but maybe you aren't the type who plays it safe all the time, I can't know, and I certainly can't tell you what's best for you.
Anyway, I am glad you are here, and that you're telling us about yourself. I'm sure many here would be very happy if you decide to pick a name for yourself and hang around for a while!
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Of course i know what it means, you have to learn everybody here has different backgrounds. I just happen to speak, read, and write spanish, very good by the way.
I was just wondering, what classes are you taking this summer?
I'm taking classes at a comunity college.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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lol im still in hi skool buddy im taking algebra oh man its a breeze tho but maybe becuz i have only be there 2 days oh well
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Well i'm still in high school and i take classes at college. I get credits for high school and college. I'm taking astronomy, my favorite subject, well basically anything that has to do with space science.
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Re: You take a guess and read... 
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