A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > I just want to remind us of something
I just want to remind us of something  [message #11384] Mon, 16 June 2003 21:13 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



My primary purpose in founding this messagebaord was and remains to create a place where those who have been abused, or are stressed, or have other challnges may come without fear and consider how best tostart to unburden themselves

When we answer such a person, almost always the last thing they wish for is to be instructed in what they "must do now". Usually they were abused in that manner. "Now, you must...... Or....." Do you see what I mean?

A suggestion, a set of choices that they may ignore after reading, that is valid. PLease, most of us know this by instinct. Please can we think first, just a little longer, and see what the person who needs help truly needs inside themselves.

We cannot know where another person stands until we have walked a mile in his moccasins. So let us learn to learn



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
icon7.gif Here Here, I couldn't agree more ....  [message #11388 is a reply to message #11384] Tue, 17 June 2003 00:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kevin is currently offline  kevin

On fire!
Location: Somewhere
Registered: September 2002
Messages: 1108




Timmy, we owe you such a debt for this place and the woderful people it has attracted. You really are the best.

Thanks for being you,

Love,
Kevin



"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
just me  [message #11389 is a reply to message #11384] Tue, 17 June 2003 00:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
smith is currently offline  smith

On fire!

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095



May I just say that when I came here a little over a year ago, my life was totally out of control and if it hadn't been for some very kind people who never 'told' me what to do but just quietly suggested thoughts, I'd have been just another casuality of abuse. I am actually able to talk about it now and centralize myself.

Kids want structure....they want someone to listen. The one thing they don't want is someone 'telling' them what to think, what to feel. That's one of the reasons they try to find help. Grownups are in charge.....no matter what they do or say to kids. We just have to work out ways to make it in spite of what happens to us.

Tough love is for kids who are making their own problems, not for kids who have no control over what happens to them. No one should EVER talk harshly to anyone who is asking for help. My grandpa always said you get better results using honey, not vinegar. I believe him.....

Please keep timmy's MB a place where kids can feel comfortable enough to say what they need to so they can survive. Everyday is like walking a tightrope for all of us who have been hurt and it's too easy to fall off.

smith
icon7.gif smith's reply is a MUST read!!!!  [message #11422 is a reply to message #11389] Wed, 18 June 2003 03:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kevin is currently offline  kevin

On fire!
Location: Somewhere
Registered: September 2002
Messages: 1108




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"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
*BIG HUGS* to smith just cause you're you :)  [message #11423 is a reply to message #11389] Wed, 18 June 2003 05:50 Go to previous message
ien is currently offline  ien

Toe is in the water
Location: Netherlands
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 81



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