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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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I have been sick for the last couple days. And even though Im still sick, hes forcing me to go to work and then hes grounding me when I get home! All because I missed work. I HATE HIM!!! UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! He can burn in hell for all I care, but all I know is that Im never going to talk to him agien! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Garrett
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Hoping the situation with your father improves soon...
One positive thing about your post, tho...I'm certain that I never was able to express my emotions as clearly as you when I was your age. It took a few years of therapy for me to be able to feel what you're feeling right now...
Feeling things so intensely is a sign of life and a big heart. It also allows for other strong feelings to emerge. Both "positive" and "negative" ones.
Hang in there!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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I'm so sorry you're sick and he's being yucky about it. Take meds so you can feel better fast.
{{{hugs}}} cause you feel icky 
smith
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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He died before I could tell him how much he'd made my life a challenge.
The odd message here is to keep talking to him so that, when you are ready, with total serenity, you choose to speak about the things that you are suffering because of him. Not talking to him is counter productive, even if it feels right.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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please clarify this work thing.What is it?school Or chores your dad wants you to do.You do have rights you know and if your sick,what your dad is doing is abuse and can be reported......rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Hard to report the thing you depend on for food, warmth and shelter. That is a very large decision.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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Rob- Its not like that. Hes not preventing me from getting better. Hes mad at me so much because Im missing my summer job and not making money. So hes making me go to work, then grounding me.
Timmy- No offense, but what makes you think that I want to be productive with him at this time. Hes such an ASSHOLE!
David- Im definitly not clear about any of my emotions, I was in the moment, Im in lots of moments.
Garrett
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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I think what timmy was trying to say was that being so full of anger with your dad is not gonna solve any problems. He expects you to be angry and knows he's gotten to you when you show it.
The other night, I was playing my music loud and my daddy came up to tell me to turn it down. He picked up the case and when he saw the word queer (it was the the soundtrack from Queer As Folk), he freaked and took the CD away. I got a lecture on music making people have bad thoughts (gag)(like listening to "Let's Hear It For the Boy" is gonna make me gay) and I could have gotten all bent and screamed at him but then I would have been feeding the fire...know what I mean? Asking for more....So I didn't say anything and maybe a friend will make me a new one. I know it's difficult but all you do when you stay angry is make yourself sick and get ulcers.
I hope you feel better soon. Just try and not let him make you bent. Do you know what a mantra is? You might try making up one and just saying it over and over in your head when things seem bad. I do and it works for me.
{{hugs}}
smith J
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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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I barely ever scream and yell. I usually throw sarcastic remarks and tell him off, he justs gets more mad but cant talk so he punishes me and storms off. Mantras, yeah Ive heard all about them. But they are actually bad for you. They build up all the anger then when you cant hold it in anymore, you just burst. Stuff can happen like heart attacks, stroaks, and ulcers. Thats why I would never use them.
Garrett
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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No Message Body
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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But it depends how you go about it. With me I feel that I act a little like a buoy on the waves, I don't let the waves crash over the top of me, instead I just ride on top of the waves. If you get my messed up analogy.
With me, I don't keep the anger in, instead I just try and ignore the anger for a little while, until the situation has cooled down and I'm able to just forget about the thing that was making me angry.
Here's a better analogy. Most people are like glasses and when something happens to make them angry it is like some water being added to the glass. When a person "exlodes" or lets their anger out it is like tipping out the water from in the glass. Obviously it would be better to tip out the glass a little bit every time more water gets added to it, instead of waiting for it to get to the point of overflowing. However, I don't see myself like a glass, I see myself like a funnel, usually things that should be making me angry go right by me, of course, if someone does something that makes me really mad, really quick (imagine tipping a litre of water into a 250mL funnel) then I will overflow and explode, but usually the anger doesn't have time to build up, it goes right out of me.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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It's a terrific analogy to use a funnel instead of a glass. A funnel channels the anger and allows it to dissipate instead of build up and overflow. That's healthy. There are many ways to achieve this and smith's suggestion of using a mantra is one of them. But Garret is right, any of these techniques can be harmful instead of beneficial unless they work for the individual person using them. Not all of them work for everyone. That's why there are so many.
Try and find a way to work through your anger, Garret. Because the one thing that holds true for everyone is that allowing it to build up will eventually result in an explosion.
I've stayed away from commenting on your original post because you didn't give me enough information. If you are too sick to work then I don't blame you for being upset. But are you and does your dad know it? What kind of committment did you make to work? Have you made financial commitments? Do you work for your dad? Will you lose your job if you don't go to work? Your dad could be an asshole like you say, or he could be looking out for your best interest even if you disagree on what that is.
No need to answer these questions unless you want to, but having been a parent and a person who has worked with teens for many years, I know there are two sides to the story, yours and your dad's. I don't know enough about this one to offer advice.
Think good thoughts,
e
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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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Shem- I see what you mean and I do let anger out but its still very hard to just let these things go.
e- Both my father and I know that I am to sick to work. And no I dont work for my dad, no I wont loose my job if I dont go to work, and I dont really have a commitment to work. All I do is do the work that they tell me and I get paid hourly. And no my dad is definitly not looking out for my best interests!
Garrett
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Garrett,I am really starting to like you.Much like Andy and the other kids on this board,you guys add a demension that is quite awsome.You try to hide it,but you have a sense of humor that will carry you through tough times.You got guts and that deserves respect.Its only a message board,but this forum has a power that is hard to describe.I hope you tap into this power and will keep on keeping on.Please still try to love your father as HATE will destroy you.Just a suggestion,try to send Ashley a few words.He is a good egg and friend....rob PS .. Warren is another good source,a good friend
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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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I am sooooooooooo mad. GOD DAMNIT! I was chatting with someone(not from this board) and he isnt an american. He said that all americans basically love war, all americans are basically evil, and all americans basically think that we are the best and should rule the world. Then he wouldnt let me even explain anything, he just kept going on. I knew this person to be nice, caring, and wise. But today he totally pissed me off and confused me by not being any of those things(not by the whole thing that he said about americans). He was soooooooooo mean and he just got me soooooooooo mad. UHHHHHHHHHHHH. And he does read whats on here even though he doesnt talk and he saw everything about my anger. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY?
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Shhhh. *Hugs Garrett* No worries. breathe in , Breathe out. Ok good. Now, most Americans are dumb... I am an American I can say that.  The problem is many don't think for themselves. I wasn't talking to you two so I on't know how the convo actually went. Americans do believe they should rule teh world. Maybe not in so many words though. They show it through their actions. Thats not important though. Everything that went wrong will soon be forgotten. You two can be friends again soon. Just relax and hug a fuzzy bunny ok. I will even lend you mine if youd like
Peace an Trees
~andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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Garrett
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 77
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OH MY GOD!
How could you say that? Yeah sure most Americans are dumb but its not just americans, its everybody. But we dont think that we should rule the world. We just try to help. You and other people dont get it. Maybe its because you people dont know and respect the government or military. Youre just some protesting activist that loves to argue to get attention. I dont think that war is right but if its nessasary, then Ill support it. And he didnt even say that Americans were dumb, he said that all americans are basically evil, awful, killers. And thats definitly not true. And if you say that it is Andy, then sorry, but Ill have to reach through this computer and smack you over the head because that is so untrue and so awful to say. You just didnt hear him. It hurt. He really did mean that all americans are just awful human beings and that he really does hate them. Im just sooooooo mad.
Garrett
PS. Americans do make peace and trees.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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To be sure, most people don't think for themselves reguarding how they are governed. That is why we have leaders. People either brave enough or stupid enough to do the thinking for us, at our bequest I might add....
As for ruling the world.... Now that is a tough one....
Lets just say that the good old USofA tries to help only if it is to their interest.
Most often this help results in belittling some other country or peoples.
This is a long standing tradition here in the Americas... Remember the Native Americans... Our country was once their country until our fore-fathers decided the land was better suited to their needs rather than the Indians.
Now as for being evil, awful killers... Our slate is clearly not lilly white on that count either... Reach out and smack whoever all you want... But it wont bring back the victoms of the Mei Li Massacre... Or the students from Kent State University...
Did you read about the incident of three children burnt that were refused treatment by army doctors in Iraq???
Now there is compassion for you...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Now see, I like this ocuntry a lot. But they do have a habit of trying to Americanize other countries and people. We have lost soo many diffrent cultures becuase of us. I'm not looking for attention Garrett I only replied becuase someoen had asked me too. I am not anti military either. I believe in the use of the military I just dont undersatnd why we need to use it so often.
I am not in favor of the war. Beucase well I feel we are butting into things that aren't our buissness. Since our country was formed we have had a habit of using violence to get our way. Look at some of the police forces. I know the ones by me use brute force to do everything. Even when they didn't need to.
All throughout history we have jsut taken what we wanted. Becuase we felt we deserved it all. manifest Destiny or soemthing like that, the world is ours for taking. Hell we stole Florida from the Spainish. We also bullied our way into getting most of the south west. We have started wars with countires.
I cna't speak about current politics. mainly becuase current events depress me so I do not keep up with them. Oh wells I feel I am rambling again. Peace out garrett. Don't hate me alright?
Peace and Trees
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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But the war in Iraq is "our business" disguised as rescuing an opressed people.
That "business" is OIL.... Lots of it....
Judging by our response to a fathers pleas for help for his injured children, which was summarilary dismissed "as not their problem"... How can we even attempt to justify our presence as being one of humanitarianism.
We can NOT!!!!!
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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It sounds like your father is just being mena, perhaps even abusive. It does not sound like he has your interest at heart. I'm wondering if he even has his own best interests at heart. It is hard to imagine a father who is simply being mean and spiteful with no motivation. Usually, even abusive persons have reasons that they think justifies their actions (Of course nothing justifies them, but they believe it is justified). I don't know whether you understand his reasoning, but if you don't, then try and figure out why he is doing this. What sets him off? Why is it that he needs (wants) you to go to work? Perhaps there is another way to give him what he wants that will allow you to take the time off work to get better.
I know it probably sounds like I am picking on you, but you are the one who is here. I cannot speak to your father so I can have no influence on him. But I can speak to you.
Find a way to dissipate your anger. Find a way to satisfy your father and get some time off. There may be no way to do that, but often times a person can find a way to avoid or reduce the risk of being victimized.
Think good thoughts,
e
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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please use caution in communicating with strangers on other message forums.if you do,be prepaired for a few surprises.there are a lot of hate mongers out there that like to spread hate and lies.A person does not have to preach hate or show ignorance to prove a point except only to prove he does NOT have a point.BTW since you have so much free time,I suggest reading some of the youth stories on NIFTY and other sites such as CRVBOY...The Brew maxwell saga will blow your socks off.Well worth reading and your day wont get ruined by hate or anger which you dont need......rob
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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god u guys shouldn't be complaining im not even allowed to see my dad ever again
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~~Pats Garrett on the shoulder~~ 
Re: UH I HATE MY DAD! 
different strokes for different folks 
Re: I see what you mean but... 
