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Ian
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 3
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First of all many thanks for all the kind words. Being new at this I goofed. I made my suggestion as a response in another thread and it should have been a new thread. Since my suggestion was made seriously let me ask you all to respond to this thread. The idea is that we ask Timmy to appoint some anonymous person to whom we can turn offline when we feel that we have been insulted or in any other way badly treated by another person on this Message Board. This way it may be possible for him or her to settle the matter in dispute without either or both of the embattled parties leaving this 'virtual family' in a huff.
If you think the idea is a good one, or at least worth a try, say so. If you think the idea is a bad one and not worth trying, say so.
Have a good day - everybody 
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Hi Ian and welcome to the board.
I'm for anything that might help settle some of the disputes that arise around here from time to time. This sounds like it might be helpful. Though it might not be necessary because it seems that most (though not all) disputes get resolved eventually. But there is no harm in trying.
Think good thoughts,
e
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I said before that I am warm to the idea, with necessary bona fides for the ombudsman.
I think ANYTHING that helps people solve things and stay together as friends is worth investigating and trying.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Interesting idea, as I said before. But it needs a lot more fleshing out.
Why does the peacemaker need to be an anonymous person? And how would that person remain anonymous anyhow, with emailing, IM'ing, etc. needed to resolve disputes?
And the peacemaker person might feel kind of side-lined from the regular give and take on the MB, as the conflict resolution function will need an impartial mediator, and if the peacemaker has stated opinions on this or that, then it may interfere with the mediator function.
I'm just thinking out loud here...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Personally I dont think a (peacemaker) idea would work,but it IS a good idea anyhow.My suggestion would be to set aside two days per week that ANYONE can vent or just be snotty.The remaining five days we each give ALL hugs and sloppy kisses and just be nice to each other.That would give all the stinkers out there just enough time to be snotty.Stop and think about it folks--flames would lose their temperature and no longer have the hurt as was intended.During the (nice) days friendships could have time to mend and all would be peaches and ice-cream..robert
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I hope you all understand the great sacrifice rob is making here.He would no longer be able to snap marcs elastic band on his panties or give wedgies to the other ogres here.The snapping of rubberbands on acid tongues would also be a no-no.Jees the things We gotta do for peace.....rob
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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In some ways I like the idea, but the role of the peacemaker needs to be clearly defined, also. I don't think it would really work for the peacemaker to be a judge who decides who is right and who is wrong, that would just piss me off, personally.
I also think that I prefer to resolve conflict myself and in my own time, though it would be nice for the "peacemaker" to try and comfort me if I had been offended, or to try and cool my heels should I have got hot tempered.
Still, I'm not sure who would qualify for the job, I mean, I can think of some great people here, but a lot of the most peaceful caring people here already have enough crap of their own to deal with without having to resolve conflict. I think I have a hard enough shell to deal with the problems of others, but I know I, and people like me, are also more abbrasive and those likely to offend others in the first place.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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And a good idea, but it could make people feel like they aren't allowed to express themselves except on those two days. Also, a lot of people make friends here and then talk away from the message board, people can still be driven away from the message board based on these chat and email conversations. I think the current system is best, but people should look before they step. Also if people can fight and address personal comments off the message board it would make this feel like a much nicer place.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I hereby toss my hat into the ring.I will volinteer for the task.I do believe I have the best qualifications.If the acid tongue doesnt melt them,my whit will dazzle all.As I have some small interest in a rubberband factory,I am well able to zing the best of the snots out there....rob
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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you miss the point--friends dont fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!rob
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Friends fight all the time, true friendships are formed through hard times and good times. Friends fight, but they also make up, that's what a friend is to me.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Your acid tongue is okay for some people, but others it can sting and scar. Your wit, and stunning zinging ability are wonderful for sure, but still, I'm sure we could find a much better job for you, like the official mascot of the message boards 
There is no-one I can think of readily that would be suited for the job, trust me, otherwise I would have mentioned them. People like smith or Third Fence Post have the right demeanour, but I wouldn't want to burden either of them with all the problems of the board.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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of course if you were really a nice guy,you could send me a poster of you that can hang on my wall as a rubberband target.This way I can direct my efforts at zinging pompus persons overstuffed with self importance and not vent my frustrations on others.Of course you will have to forgive the occasional zing at persons that think their crap dont stink..rob
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I don't quite understand what you mean. Can you explain better for some ofus slower children  just kiddin. But seriously. Explain for me.
peace and trees
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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its like putting traffic cops in your school hallways to keep the boys from pulling the girls tails and keeping everybody nice....rob
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Ian
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 3
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Well, I can try. You see over the past few weeks several people have said that they have left this MB because they have been hurt by someone else on the MB. In all probability these things happen over some time and offline (on AIM or via email). I think that it is a shame that the people who left have had to deprive themselves of the support that this group gives. I also think that the group suffers from the loss of people with something useful to contribute. If the 'offended' person (or the 'offending' person) knew that there was someone available who could try to restore peace and friendship between the two of them they might try that road instead of just leaving the MB.
I believe that such a Peacemaker should remain anonymous, and there are ways and means that such a person could preserve his or her anonymity.
At any rate, it all really depends on us. If we want it Timmy has said that he will go with it - even if only for a trial period. Even if it does not work out - what have we lost?
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Thanks Ian I think I udnerstand now.
peace and trees
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Something like a mediator or ombudsman might be effective.
Here however, due to the overall smallness of the community and the cliquishness of the little core groups would greatly taint any decisions made.
It is better to settle ones own affairs.
Also, if one is apprehensive about settling his own affairs then is it not counter productive to do it for them? One can fall easily into a trap of letting others solve their problems here and this can carry over into their real world lives.
Just my opinion,
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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well, no, it isn't. Instead it's like having an uncle that both people can CHOOSE to turn to.
No compulsion.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Re: Peacemaker 
Re: Peacemaker 
Re: Peacemaker 
With love, but I think not, rob... 
Hey Ian can you splain better for me? 
