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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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When I found this MB over a year ago, I lurked for awhile, read people's posts and tried to figure out what the rules were.
Finally, one day I raised my hand and asked for help. Many people responded with gentle voices and helpful advice.
I really think this MB is for anyone who wants to feel comforted and safe in a world that wants to treat him badly.
I had a really bad day yesterday having to listen to horrible homophobic jokes and rants about hell after the Supreme Court decision. It's a great ruling but people won't let go of their prejudices and hate. So, I came here to be one of you......to feel comforted and not like a piece of trash. That didn't happen 
Marc? What do you want from this MB? I wish you would explain. The kids are a central point because all of you say that you want to help us not to suffer the things that you had to suffer and so we read and we talk to you and want to feel that you care about us. You've said several times that "If you're not 15, no one listens." But Marc...the 15 year olds are listening to you. We just want you to help........let us feel like you care. And in helping, you will get what you want, the feeling that you belong. You do, you know.
Not too many years ago, the phrase "Children should be seen and not heard" was enforced. I'm very glad that now I can say what's in my heart. I just want to feel that if I do say something from my heart, it won't be trampled. We kids need to remember that there are ways to say things that encourage and not step beyond appropriate bounds. There are lines that no one should step over.
There are no acceptable harsh words. To call anyone a name that denigrates them....that makes them feel less than they are. We all walk out the door of our houses into a world that doesn't believe in us......when I walk in the door of this MB, I want to feel accepted and a person that people like. It's important to me.
In Japan, the people take off their shoes before they go in the house. Why do they do that? Cause their shoes are dirty.We need to take off our "shoes" before we come in here. There are so many people who lurk, needing answers or just getting a good feeling from what we say. What do you think they are thinking right now?
I know some of the posts are sugar sweet and silly, but that's because people are trying to lighten up what may have been a really bad day for someone who is reading. Let's try to make timmy's MB the place where EVERYONE feels included and content.
Please.......
{{{hugs}}}
smith J
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**hugs**
YOu have no idea how sweet that post just sounded to me smith THank you sooo much. I have no way to tell you how much I appreciated that one. I gtg see yas
Peace and Shiny SIlver Maple Trees
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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At present, even as "owner" I do not feel welcome in "my own house". I will when people leanr again how to get along without dirty shoes.
It is not just marc who shoudl alsnwer, though I perceive at present that he has the most to say. I htink all peopl ehave a valid input, because this board becomes what we want it to be.
May I say what my primary purpose was, again?
To provide a place where those who are hurt, hurting, questioning worried etc can come and feel safe. The words change each time.
It was not to provide a place where people attack others
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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JJ, you summed up things very well in that post. I do not want to repeat all the good stuff you said, I will merely tell my own motives for joining and if there is some overlap I hope nobody minds. 
What I liked most when I first came here is that it was someplace where I could be myself without worrying about someone criticizing me or belittling me or degrading me.
It was a place where one board member did not say angry or nasty things to another board member. If anyone at all said angry or nasty things, it was about things that happened outside the board, done by other people, recently or in the past. As of late, that's not really been the case, I'm sad to say.
I don't think it's neccessary to place any public blame, I just want everybody to take off their shoes as you say (we do that over here as well; if you walk around with shoes indoors, you're considered kinda nutty ), and REALLY MIND WHAT THEY TYPE HERE. Perhaps the conflicts have appeared because there's more people here now than there was when I stumbled in through the door. Maybe we just need to get to know each other a bit better and things will run more smoothly.
I have to wave my finger about one thing though... Don't criticize, especially not directly. If you have to disagree, do it by offering advice, an option or opinion that in your own opinion is a better alternative, don't tell the other person they're wrong period. Many people - like myself for example - are very fragile on the inside and take offense extremely easily, even by things that weren't really meant to be hurtful in the first place. Simply wording things badly can upset some of us a lot.
If some have to put up with a certain amount of inane fluffy pink cuddlyness and stupid jokes and stuff, well SHEESH! That's just too bad! Some of us crave a dose of that every so often merely to get along from one day from the next! Don't complain, simply skip those threads if they're uninteresting.
Okay, that's enough of a rant nobody will read or care about anyway, just wanted to state my opinion...
Here's a {{{hug}}} for everyone from me.
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Hey everyone...Some of you know me others could care less who I am and that is fine. I came to this board because I have friends that come here, some of you helped me with a school project (which I never really got a chance to thank you for...THANKS!!) and to meet some new people. Those were my origional 'goals' now things are much different...I like popping in if I have a question or anything to say and I really want to get to know more people better. I also think it is cool that I am only the second female (that I am aware of) that visits and posts to this site!
Thank you smith for asking me what I want...it seems that does not happen very often anymore. I share many of your feelings about how you feel about the site as well!
If any of you want to chat drop me one at:
Yahoo: littletomatobg
AOL: littletomato81
Danielle (Ducky)
"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"
"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"
"Never underestimate your power to change yo
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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What if a person believes inane, fluffy pink cuddlyness and stupid jokes and stuff are degrading?
Whether meant to be so or not?
What if a person is feels put off by these things?
What then?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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Marc asks: >>What if a person believes inane, fluffy pink cuddlyness and stupid jokes and stuff are degrading? Whether meant to be so or not? What if a person is feels put off by these things? What then?<<
My twopennyworth: That person will, presumably, either stop visiting a board whose visitors are "inane" etc, or s/he will summon up a great deal of patience and goodwill and learn to "suffer what s/he considers to be fools gladly".
But, most of all, "beware the green-eyed god"; it will eat your heart out and leave an empty shell.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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No Message Body
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Green what????
And are you asking me to depart?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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the green-eyed monster of jelousy.though the door of friendship and fellowship has always been open for all.Why be angry at a small bit of silliness?Harmless enough dont you think?Surely the members of this forum have a human right to interact with each other and to bring a measure of joy to others and each other.Please consider the following--we all come from different walks of life.Many have had a great deal of sadness to deal with.but here,IF WE ALLOW IT,that sadness does not have to follow us here.If it does,then friendship and love can work a special magic to make SOME of that go away.And that is a good thing....rob
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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Do you really believe that? That jokes and silliness are degrading? That they show a lower level of intelligence than you wish to see here? Must everything be deep and thought provoking to be worthwhile? Life can really bite! A little softness and humor goes a long way to bring a smile....to lighten the day.
The people that come to this MB are quite bright and an IQ level and SAT scores do not mean that you can't be silly or cuddly or totally whacked out if you feel like it. Books and tests and scores all turn to dust. Laughter and love can last forever.
{{{giggles&hugs}}}
smith
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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Marc, why do you insist on seeing only the negative side of things. My response to your question gave you a positive alternative to departing. But those are the only two options open to you in the circumstances which you describe. People are not going to change, and the vast majority of those who visit this MB like it the way it is: that's why they come! So, if we accept the terms that you described (which I don't, BTW) you are left with only two options: either give up or put up. I really hope that you will choose the latter alternative because sometimes you say the most marvellous things.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Thanks for this thread, smith! I missed most of the discussion yesterday, so I'll just say "Ditto" to what smith and Steve said.
I also hope that Marc can find a way to stay here, be happy with the decision, and have others be happy with it as well!
Plus anybody else who may be around and lurking.
Hiya Garret...Angel...m...hozit going?
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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"Children should be seen and not heard."
How I hated hearing that when I was a kid! And how I cringe even more when I hear it now!
As I have stated here more than several times (and I do deserve any resulting chorus of "There he goes again!"), I've always felt that young people are quite capable of great thoughtfulness and wisdom. Yes, some may need more "guidance" than others; but as has been demonstrated so many times here, such "guidance" is so often not needed, and I find myself reassured that "the kids are alright" (more than "alright", in fact).
On two different occasions, a friend of mine has related things he heard from his (Roman Catholic) church pulpit from two different "guest homilists" which brought him "this close" to either standing up and rebutting what was said, or else to just get up and walk out. The first was an attack on the John Lennon song "Imagine" which accused Lennon of being "anti-religion" (how many times have we heard that before?). The other came in the wake of 9/11, in which the "reverend", in a grand stentorian oratory, proclaimed that anybody who looks even remotely "Muslim" should be rounded up and either thrown in jail or deported, and what a roar of cheers and applause that proclamation elicited from the congregation! I am constantly amazed at how those who claim to follow (and preach about) a "Prince of Peace" whose basic tenets were love and acceptance for all mankind can, with their every word, deed and thought, be so full of hatred for anybody who is in any way "different" from them. No wonder I stopped going to church so long ago!
I think many (if not most) of us come here for basically the same reason. We have a fact about ourselves that is still not mentioned in "polite company" (that Supreme Court decision notwithstanding, as that "symposium" smith had to endure attests). So naturally we find ourselves seeking out a place free from the slings and arrows of our individual "real worlds" where we can be ourselves (especially if no such place exists in our "real world"); and when those slings and arrows find us even here, coming from those like us we thought we coudld trust, it can easily leave us knowing how Caesar felt when he said, "Et tu, Brute'".
As for the "fluff". I can't begin to tell you how many times I've come here in a mood most foul, only to find some new piece of "smithJunk" ("smithGems", I call them), or a new "countdown" clock from David (we're now talking in terms of "hours" now, right David?! []), or a link to something intriguing or just plain amusing that somebody wanted to share with the rest of us, or new insight on a particular topic (be it "fluff" or "serious"; and be it from a younger person like, say, Andy, or from a "slightly" older person like, say, Trevor [ ]). It never fails to brighten my mood considerably. Therefore, I definitely feel it plays a most vital role in this forum.
I think we should indeed "take our shoes off" when we come here (and Lenny, just to show yet again how weird we Americans are, most Americans will look at you askance if you do take your shoes off!). Seriously, this place is too important to too many people; so please, let's not allow personal pettiness to get in the way the good this place does.
Again, just some random thoughts.
We do not remember days...we remember moments.
Cesare Pavese
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What do YOU want from this message board? 
Yes smith, please let's all take off our dirty shoes before entering. 
Re: What is it en mt response that you don't understand, Marc? 
The fluffy cuddliness.... 
