|
|
Guest
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
|
|
|
This may be a bit "specialized", but I couldn't resisit! You might have to ask Steve for translations of the Yiddish...hehe
I have always had terrific jewish friends from all over the world, for some reason. One of them sent me this today. I loved it...hope it brings smilies to you as well.Zen Judaism--a blending of the two:
*The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single oy.
*If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions. Argue.
*Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl.
Unless, of course, you have the closet space.
*Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Budhha with posture like that.
*There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
*Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
*Do not let children play contact sports like football. These only lead to injuries and instill a violent, war-like nature. Encourage your child to play peaceful games, like "sports doctor."
*To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
*Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo.
Learn of the kugel from the kugel.
*Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
*If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
*Those who know do not kibbitz. Those who kibbitz do not know.
*Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
*Do not kvetch. Be a kvetch. Become one with your whining.
*The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao
does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao is not Jewish.
*Whenever you feel anger, you should say, "May I be free of this anger!"
This rarely works, but talking to yourself in public will encourage others to leave you alone.
*Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.
*The Buddha taught that one should practice lovingkindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?
*Enter into your inner self and behold the eye of the soul. Gaze upon your original face before you were even born. Shocked? Remember, this was before the nose job.
*Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
*In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, "Is it good for the Jews?"
*To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
*Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
*Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
We don't have a prominent Jewish culture in this country. I don't know ANYTHING about Jewish holidays, rituals or stuff like that really. Just what little I pick up from watching US TV shows, hehe. 
Anyway, I read this editorial on why girlfriends are dangerous. It's pretty darn funny, I'm sure we guys with our background can find many reasons here why we're off better without 'em. 
A sample: "Margret doesn't like to watch films on the TV. No, hold on - let me make sure you've got the inflection here: Margret doesn't like to watch films on the TV. She says she does, but years of bitter experience have proven that what she actually wants is to sit by me while I narrate the entire bleeding film to her. 'Who's she?', 'Why did he get shot?', 'I thought that one was on their side?', 'Is that a bomb' - 'JUST WATCH IT! IN THE NAME OF GOD, JUST WATCH IT!' The hellish mirror-image of this is when she furnishes me, deaf to my pleading, with her commentary. Chair-clawing suspense being assaulted mercilessly from behind by such interjections as, 'Hey! Look! They're the cushions we've got.', 'Isn't she the one who does that tampon advert?' and, on one famous occasion, 'Oh, I've seen this - he gets killed at the end.'"
(Much) more funny stuff here: http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/
Hugs:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
trevor
|
 |
Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
|
|
|
Great site, Lenny. Until you've lived with a woman for a few years, you'll probably not fully appreciate this site. I'm sure there are some guys like this, too, but I'm hoping not!
It simply hit much too close to home.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
|
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
That's quite a website. My wife's real name must be Margaret. The thing about WATCHING movies on TV happens every night at my house. I have no idea what it is she does while she stares at the TV, but she definitely does not pay attention.
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Ethnic Smiley of the Day 
Hehehe - kinda. Maybe I'm not American enough to enjoy this fully... 
