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I have felt for some time that the words we choose are a unique window into our personality. How we communicate is some measure of who we are. How we treat each other and how we view the world are some great indicators of the people we are on the inside.
A friend ( I will paraphrase here ) recently said to me 'How can you care about me, you don't know me'. I tend to disagree with that just a little bit.
We only know the you that you choose to share with your words. So as I see it, the words I choose to represtent me should be chosen carefully. They should reflect what I think and feel so you will know more about me.
Am I way off in this thinking?
I would really like to know what you all think.
Thanks for listening,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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frog
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 8
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Then at the very least YOU be the first to offer the hand of friendship and you do that by communication and some effort on your part.As I stated earlier,I catch your drift and your carefully worded snipes only cause more disharmony!!!!rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Kevin does not snipe. He is thoughtful and direct, and will email when he sees fit.
Read again, and take it in the spirit he means it. No hidden meanings, just the words, pure and simple.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know who I am in so many ways. I think you (plural) reveal yourselves to me and others in so many ways, too.
Turn of phrase does it. Vocabulary does it, phrasing does it, punctuation, typography, errors or the absence of errors. All of these paint a picture of the passions you project.
It doesn't matter whether you have those passions. You project them.
Then there is the ability or inability, or even the refusal, to listen.
Then there is "now it's my turn to speak" - you see this in conversations face to face as well.
We try to choose them carefully, our words. But our passions escape through them.
I like that. Except I miss being able to see the eyes when someone speaks to me online.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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This is my effort. This is my hand of friendship. It is not extended in judgement, only in friendship. I am trying my best. Please don't think I hold anyone in contempt, nor is their any malice in my intent at all.
Peace, friendship, and possibly to facilitate good feelings between friends that have been at odds are my only goals here. I never have a hidden agenda. I try with my words to show you how I feel and how I think. I may not get it right every time, but please know I am trying to be a friend to you as well as the rest of my family here.
Hugs,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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... and the voice!
Of the two, perhaps I miss most of all the voice.
All written communication is wide open to sundry interpretation.
How else could an entire industry have arisen out of the analysis of it, looking for amongst other things, an author's hidden agenda; breeding occupations otherwise known as the "Literary Critic", the "Cryptographer" ... well you get my drift ... us all having at one time or another spent seemingly endless hours analysing, in a classroom somewhere, or at home for an language "assignment" or project, the printed word and giving our interpretation of what was "supposed" to have been said.
Fortunately, sometimes what we see is truly what we get. The best known example of this I can recall is a short story entitled "Johathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach. Untold man-hours were expended World-wide dissecting this author's tale, every which way but loose, making Bach a multimillionaire in the process, with the story becoming de rigeur on English Language courses of study throughout all of North America, only to have it all come crashing down around those same literary vivisectionists when the author interviewed one night - I believe it was on the Johnny Carson "Tonight Show" - burst the bubble by candidly admitting that there was no allegory, no double-entendre, no hidden agenda, no nothing, in what he had simply written as what he had hoped would be viewed a delightful Children's Story.
The same holds so very true for "Type-talk", and perhaps accounts for the widespread dissemination, and use by many, of the ubiquitous "Emoticon".
Unfortunately nothing, but nothing can truly take the place of either the eyes, or the voice; especially the voice.
Each provide rich degrees of shading and tonal qualities to all narratives, which are by their very nature missing in the printed word unless the author takes considerable pains to express them within, or along side of, the straight text.
Neither of my two sons can lie to me face to face; nor are they often able to by telephone.
If the eyes are known at the "Windows to our souls"; then the voice must be the "Sound of our hearts".
Without either, or both, I have, in 53-years, come to realize that I must mistrust everyone on general principle. Always.
Warren C. E. Austin
Toronto, Canada
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Before I came here to A Place of Safety all I had was Timmy's chats, and the front page to his site. I learned from him that you can see a persons soul through there eyes. Maybe that's a harsh word, but you can tell if someone is happy, sad, lost, etc. at that particular moment. I have for the past year found myself looking people in the eyes when talking to them, just saying Hi, or whatever. Some you can see a change in because you at that moment are giving them your complete attention. Because so many of us can't meet in person, we have to deal with this a few ways, either here at a message board, or in a chat program, and the feelings, emotions, the eyes aren't here for us to really see what the other person is feeling. Just words on a screen can cut someone like a knife, or leave them feeling on top of the world. It takes me forever to write a reply here to the board because i reread it so many times trying to make it so it doesn't hurt anyone. Just take a second and reread what you write, and think if you were the other person reading it. Did it hurt? Did it help? Did it make you feel good?
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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Does it do any good then, since we cannot see the eyes or hear the voice, to put an effort into translating how we really feel into just words? Words without hidden meaning, but meant only to say what is in our hearts.
Is that effort lost because no one can see or hear that I am genuine about how I feel?
Am I, spinning my wheels, so to speak?
Signed,
Concerned and a bit afraid to hear the answer
(But I need to hear it anyway)
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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But it is done as a dialogue, not as a speech. An interation of messgaes, chats,emails. one single message will fail. Many messages even lead to love and adoration
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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This is why Drivers stories have ment so much for me.We have a very angry young man that is very confused where he should target that anger and because of that confusion lashes at the world casting aside any meaningful friendships.Then he slowly begins to learn how to communicate with that same world.An additional concept is explained to this angry young boy.Think good thoughts,do good deeds and love good people.A whole vista begins to open and good things begin to happen..I suppose not everybody can relate to this,as many do have a joyous childhood.To have your childhood crushed by unloving and uncaring parents that dont even have a clue,well you get the point.This person does not have the right to dictate what is said on this board and I would never do that.But I do get a little fed up with some of the chatter that goes....What I would like to hear on this board is how we are making this a better world.Mr Pendor put it all in a nutshell in his *special place* when three very brave youth stood before an entire high-school telling,no,showing all,that this is a battle between the forces of lightness and darkness--good vs evil if you will..Go ahead and chuckle if you want,but there are scientists out there that want to create a biological filter to screen out the *gay gene*..Robs rambling,and with tongue in cheek and a hehe.peace and trees aint gonna stop the boogyman...Rob
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I find myself a bit misanthropic sometimes too, but our written word on the net at any one time can be a bit like that word. You can define it all the way from the total hate of mankind to just distrust of mankind.
I have been here at this board for a very long time though few have known it but I have gotten to know a lot of you though not so much what is said at any one time but the constancy of what and how it's said. And one constancy I found was that none of you that are here on a regular bases is malicious but truly lovely people.
I am not very good with the written word, that's why I have tended to stay away. Now I am gonna stay and hang with you guys for a while. I hope as time goes by you find dispite all my flaws i am an alright guy.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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Okay, now that the adrenaline rush has ended from a recent fire call, I'll try to not give you an answer. Fair enough? hehehe.
The words you use may or may not be your genuine feelings, but since I've known you and your words for a year now, I know they are. The words you use to respond to me are warm, gentle, and questioning. If you would have started out with "What's the point, since I can't see or hear you, then you must all be fibbing", I would have had to really think if I wanted to reply or not.
I guess it all comes down to how we the reader interprets what is being writen. The writer should try to come across as clear as they can, but sometimes that's just not possible.
Hope that confused you more. hehehe
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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No Message Body
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I remember your screen name from times past, for sure. Very glad to hear you're sticking around and saying more!
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kevy
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Getting started |
Location: Sandusky
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 7
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I miss seeing your eyes too. I hope someday we can see each other face to face again. Marc and I both enjoyed your visit to our home very much. I owe you many more hugs for all you have done for the two of us.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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But how you present yourself is so important, as is what you think of yourself. There is NEVER a true definition of self, there is only perception- self perception, perception by others and so on. Maybe these perceptions are what make up the true self. People are constantly changing and reaction to different situations in different ways, and in the exact same situation, the same person could react differently, it is part of how our random human behaviour works. Emotion can be feigned in any situation, though through constant contact and a constant reaction pattern, people can come to know our emotions, eyes and voice are important in judging our emotion. Of course emotion is based on how we feel about ourselves, not on who we are, if I am having a bad day and think I'm stupid (although in reality I am quite intelligent) then I'm going to act in a way that validates my emotions, and so on. Umm, not sure where I'm going here, so better stop in case I end up off the edge of a cliff  It's 1:44 am, I should go sleep!
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Personalities ..... a discussion ......... 
Re: Personalities ..... a discussion ......... 
hush a second, and re-read it 
Thank you Timmy ..... 
Re: Well said Brian ..... 
