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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > how do you rid yourself of the past
how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #12917] Wed, 30 July 2003 07:57 Go to next message
brian! is currently offline  brian!

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Location: North West Ohio, USA
Registered: December 2002
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I went out tonight like usual, but for some strange reason this one guy looked way to familiar. After enough beers (sorry Lenny) I got up the nerve to ask him if I should know him from somewhere. He was from my past. I spent the rest of the evening choking back tears, and well, telling him we needed to talk. The memories flooded back, was/is to much to handle. How am I going to talk to this guy when he calls on me?????

Brian



To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
Re: how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #12918 is a reply to message #12917] Wed, 30 July 2003 09:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Guest is currently offline  Guest

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Maybe meet in a neutral place (like a restaurant rather than your place.

Also maybe for lunch or coffee rather than an evening time, which could be construed as a "date".

Maybe also tell him what pain this causes you, and if there are any regrets you have...altho that advice might be off target since you didn't say what the relationship was and what went wrong before...

Good luck with him...thinking of you!
icon14.gif Re: how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #12921 is a reply to message #12918] Wed, 30 July 2003 09:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dartagnon is currently offline  dartagnon

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David's advice was spot on, as usual, but I hasten to add one thing. Whatever was in the past is just that, the past. You can't alter it. You can make the present better than that, but you can't change what was. If drudging up pain is only going to bring back more pain, perhaps you should consider just letting it go. Just a thought.



It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
Re: how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #12922 is a reply to message #12917] Wed, 30 July 2003 10:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



"Great to see you. Let's go and get a coffee. Shall I drive?" That's a good start.

Then you tell him what you feel you need to tell him. Try very hard to be unemotional about it, and just speak.

Doesn't matter if he was your worst enemy or your long lost love. If he's a decent man he will understand.

You don't "rid" yourself of the past. You process it, making it acceptable to yourself. It can hurt.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #12976 is a reply to message #12917] Thu, 31 July 2003 06:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Guest is currently offline  Guest

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Brian

Remember me? Don't get hurt and don't hurt Simon.
icon6.gif How could I ever forget you?  [message #12983 is a reply to message #12976] Thu, 31 July 2003 13:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
brian! is currently offline  brian!

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Location: North West Ohio, USA
Registered: December 2002
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Hey Kyle,

I'd never forget you. I have no worries about Simon and me, and he doesn't need to worry either. Thanks for the reply, looks like your getting hooked on computers now. Hope we get to chat again soon.

Brian

BTW, this young man called me last night and want to talk.



To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
Re: how do you rid yourself of the past  [message #13022 is a reply to message #12917] Fri, 01 August 2003 19:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
theerubberducky is currently offline  theerubberducky

Toe is in the water
Location: Ohio....USA
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 93




It is virtually impossible to "rid" yourself of your past (even if you are "erased"), your past makes you who you are today it would be a lost cause to even try.

Danielle



"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"

"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"

"Never underestimate your power to change yo
Re: How could I ever forget you?  [message #13031 is a reply to message #12983] Sat, 02 August 2003 08:06 Go to previous message
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Brian

I am happy that Simon doesn't have to worry, he is a really nice person in his odd way. Has he gone away yet? I want to use Patrick's id will that be okay do you think. I'd email you but don't know the address Sad

Kyle
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