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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Andy i started writing this to anwer your last message but it turned out to be different than what i expected. Understand it's hard for me to express my feeling on writing and i don't know where this came from
College classes are so much fun. You have more freedom then you ever did on high school. Teachers treat you like an adult, you can do whatever you want but at the same time be responsible. Some people lose in the responsibility thing, not me.
Did i mention that my Bio teacher was gay?
I attended " Los Angeles City College" and took Astronomy 1 and Biology 25. Those are basic classes but it helps me get them out of the way right now instead of when it's time for me to go college. I'll have the change to go straight to me career, which is a lot better.
As for 9th grade, both semester at got all " A's", not bad for sombody who has being here almost FIVE years and not speaking a word of English.
Check out my classes this year ( 10th grade)
AP=Advance Placement, H= honors
1) AP Biology
2) H Algebra 2
3) Air Force Junior ROTC
4) Spanish Speakers 2 ( yes my lenguage is spanish)
5) AP European History
6) H English 10th
Does this look hard to you? It is not as bad as it looks
In my school they do make a trip to Europe during christmas time, unfortunally i can't go this time, hopefully next year. I sure it's very fun, you yourself have first hand experience.
Why do i tell you this?
Well i have come to the understanding that anything is possible on this country. I go out to my neighborhood and i see Hispanic kids who don't know the lenguage and are working ( low paying jobs ) at such an early time of their life. They should be in school. It makes me sad to see all of this. I mean the oportunities are there, we just need to take advange of them. I know i have.
It's funny when i hear my mom's friends tell her that i should take extra English so i could learn the lenguage. They thing it must be hard for me. They don't understand i already passed that stage. I remember my first day of school here in this country (US). I felt like a nobody, like i didn't exist. Those time were hard, but now read, talk and write ( not so good at times) and look at the classes i'm taking.
Many people thing i'm really smart. Let me tell you a secret. I'm not. Yes you heard me right , i'm not very smart. What i am is responsible, somebody with determination, somebody with a goal in life and that is what got me where i am today.
My example can be apply to you, and you , and yes you over there. Anything is possible in life. You just need to be NOT lazy and also have a little faight in yourself.
Here i am , a gay teenage boy , living in a society were everybody judges you just because of your sexual preference. Want to know what i do? I don't do nothing. Yes nothing bacause i don't listen to those people. I don't care what they say or think of me, i know i'm "Miguel" and nobody will change that. I'm happy with me life and i know i will go far. Even if your 40 or 50 , whatever , you can still accomplish your dream.
" Follow your dreams cause you never know what is going to happen to you tomorrow "
Now tell where did all of this came from? I have no idea.
Bye, for now
With love
M.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Now it is well after midnight, so don't expect much length in my reply!
It came from deep inside a boy who is worth knowing. No more and no less.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Miguel}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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You impress me a lot M. Seriously you really do provide some inspiration. I am not lazy, I just have other issues on my mind often during school. I should probably get with the program, we will see this is a whole new school year. *Hugs you* My course last year were
H US 1
English 10
Chem
ALG 2
Concert Band
Intro to Art
german 3
For any of you who don't know , I failed out of German so I wont be taking it again. I was asked not to go into AP US this coming year becuase I would fail the course. band I had to drop becuase my mother would not let me be in marching band and that is mandatory. Algebra I kicked ass in probably wont be so lucky in precalc though. I rocked my English class but only becuase I did my homework and listened to the teach. Intro to art well lets just say I am taking advanced art Crafts and intro to Photo next year...
Peace and Trees
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I just realize something
I always tell myself that i don't want to be like my father, i want better things in life.
Example
I ask him for money or something and the guy tells me his whole life story about how he had to work at very early age, had to walk to school without shoes, etc..
I tell him. But father all i wanted was some money.
I wanted to reply to Andy and i told him part of my life.
Its funny how i'm turning out to be like my father. But now i undertand more the things he said. It's better to have something than anything. Apreciate the things we have.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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We do. And you did. Eloquently.
Be the bits of your father you are proud of, and avoid the other bits.
He sounds a great guy too.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Who told said you were going to fail? YOu never know until you are actually there.
I have a friend who really wants to take a class and he has being asking around what is like to take it. Almost all of them told him not to take it bacause it was really hard and he was not going to pass, blah, blah,blah. He saw i was going to take it so he came to me and ask me why. I told him to take it and not listen to does people. One never knows how you are going to do until you take it. I don't know maybe he kicks ass in that class. If he fails its ok , at least he has the guts to take. Anyways there are other classes he can take. Of course my friend is going to have to work hard to pass the class.
One thing that makes a student not succed on what he/she likes is their parents. Many times is the parent to who is afraid not the child. Of course there is limit to this were parents need to stick their hand and stop us from doing something wrong.
Thank god my mother lets me do and try things ( good things )> She says she wants me to find out for myself that is was the wrong choice, even when she knew is was not going to work out in the first place. It has happen to me. I receive a blow to my head really hard but oh well i tried and found out for myself that didn't work. What is left to do is to try another way.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I was almost inspired by that M. so thankyou. Unfortunately at the moment in my life I've hit a stage where I have no motivation at all, I have no dreams, no plans, no goals, not even a crush to motivate me. Plus, I'm living totally alone, in a 4 bedroom house by myself in Japan, only working 12 hours/ week. There is no-one telling me what to do, no-one pushing me at all to do ANYTHING, it is all up to me. So, until I got out of the house for 15 minutes yesterday to go to McDonalds to buy dinner (having ran out of food) it had been close to 5 days since I'd last left the house. Not sure exactly why I'm sharing this, but it seems I'm being lazy, but don't even feel like I have a reason to change that..
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Well how do you expect anybody to help you when you lock yourself in your house?
How did you feel when left your house for at least 15 minutes? Did you feel better? Worst?
All i can tell you is to find something to do. Going out to eat can be a start. Do you have a Hobby? If you do you can emphasize your time in that at least for now. For me , i love airplanes. They are my passion so when i'm feeling down i got out to the airport or i built minature airplanes and that usually makes me feel better. C'mon everybody has bad times at some point of their life.
When you start to go out and meet new people i can assure you, you are going to feel better. However, you need to do that for yourself, i can only give you advise. This might be a bad example but don't get me wrong.
My teacher told me a story one. It went like this. He say he had a friend. A very happy and upgoing person. Everybody liked him. One day, for having unprotected sex he got AIDS. I mean the guys went into a deep depression. He locked himself in a room. Sold his house ( very nice house by the way) moved in to an aparment and basically made his life a miserable. The guy has such low self-esteem nobody could talk to him. Family would go to visit him and the only thing he would say is to leave him alone because he was going to die. He said life was not worthed because he was going to die. He did not wanted to go out because he was going to die. I think this is sad because is not true. Oh well time passed and the guy got worse and worse. You know what happened to him? He died in less than a year. That is what he wanted and that is what he got.
I have read and hear of people who had live 10-20 year even when they had HIV. Those people were optimistic, they went out and tried to do something with their life. That is what i want YOU to do. Go out and find something useful to do.
Everything is up to you, if you don't want to do anything about your life and you lock yourself in a room, i'm sorry to tell you but that is how you are going to be; somebody with no dreams.
I'm not very wise but i don't want to see a great person throw his life to the trash like that.
What do you say? Would you go out for me and do something with your life? Anything is valid as long as you go out. I want to read of something you did. Look at Lenny ( i'm not sure if he had bad time with date or anything) he went to London and have fun. From what i read he is watching at some hot guys up there in Europe. Good for you Lenny, don't let anything depress you.
All i can say for now. Maybe you can listen to a 15 year old. You know they people kids don't lie.
Hope you feel better
M.
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I don't know if it's feasible due to the culture or whatever, but I would love to be a mentor or big brother or something like that if I had a chance - read to kids, share my love of electronics, math tutor - that kind of stuff. I do this a bit but just don't have enough time.
I'd also love to bike and hike. I'm pretty much an introvert and don't socialize much, but you will bump into people if you get out a bit.
Good thoughts.
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M
You are someone who I see with wisdom way beyond your years!!! Your positive attitude is awesome and contagious to those willing to catch it.
I want to but at the same time I am battling with the word can't. I am a Senior at BGSU with 3 semesters left to go. I should be excited but I'm not at all. In fact I'm scared shitless. I don't want to go back to school in the fall (just a little over a week) because I'm afraid to fail. Last semester was really bad, I got the worst grades I have ever had in my life because (well maybe I am just passing the buck but) I battled depression pretty bad and I can't say that I feel I have gotten over it. I have little motivation to do anything but hang out with friends and chat online. When I'm down I constantly look for people to bring me up when I know that I need to do that myself, I just "can't" and I hate it.
This has been a great topic...you have gotten many people to open up  and I know (at least for me) sometimes it just feels good to vent and say things you normally wouldn't.
Thanks M
Danielle
"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"
"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"
"Never underestimate your power to change yo
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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School can be a scary place, i know because i go to one every single day and probably will for quite a while. But don't be afraid to fail. That is not good, change that of thinking. If keep thinking that way you might actually end up failing, failing to your family, everybody who has help you over the past years, and even more yourself. Take does words "Can't and Fail" and change thier defenitions. Instead of using "Fail or Can't " i use Leaning Experience. Why? because that is what you do, you learn from your failures or mistakes and that is what makes you stronger, a better person.
Everybody suffers from depression, i do sometimes to the point were i cry myself to sleep. Know what i found out? It was not the solution. Instead take all of those things and put them behind me and go on with my life, but this time i take something with me and that experience. I know it might hurt really bad, might think your life sucks , but eventually you heal.
The key here is to start thinking positive. Start setting goals for yourself . Start with small things. Smiling can be a good start. C'mon smile right now. I know you want to. Did that feel better? You can say to yourself " I'm going to have a good day in school today " Goals " I'm going to do my homework by 8 o'clock" I don't know things like that. The point is to forget about your problems for at least a moment and just imagin everything is perfect. I know your problems are not going to go away but later on you are going to find a solution. We always do.
Everyday i see my friend struggling in school. They are always worry they are never going to do good. They see me and i'm enjoying life, smiling. My teachers like me , they say i could be doing so bad but i'm always smiling. I don't worry about it so much. Why put more stress in your life? I don't like that little voice behind my heading always saying " today you have a test and you are going to do bad. You should have study. My parents are going to kill me if i do bad". Seriously, i don't like it. I just don't think about it. I relax, i have confidence i'm going to do alright, i know because i payed attention in class.
I talk too much don't i?
Remember, you did bad last semester, that is fine, take that and make it into something positive. You know what i would be saying right now if i were you. I can't wait to go back to school and make it the best semester. I can't wait to learn new things.
Have a good time
A quote from a movie
" The universe is going to expand and collape again. This process is going to continue on for eternity. You only have one life and right now is the only time you have fix everything on your life bacause everything single mistake you make is going to repeat itself over and over again, forever, so you better make this time count"
-- K-Pax
Hugs
M.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Firstly I should explain myself a bit more clearly, it's not like I have no LIFE goals, I just have no goals while being in Japan. I'm only here short term, which makes me wonder if getting into a relationship is worth it. I don't really care about money, so I have no financial goals. I would like to learn the language but so far I've set no goals in terms of that except that I'd like to find some friends to learn from, but I'm not having much luck in making friends. I came to Japan with the intention of 'having a break from school before returning to University' and I must say I AM doing that, however it is a little unfufilling.
Things are improving, though. I went out today, just looked around at some new places and bought some stuff, then tonight I met once of the other guys that works at the school I work at, he's been on vacation recently. He's from Toronto and he's a writer, he talked to me a lot and said how I need to start with baby steps but how I should do some stuff. He gave some suggestions too, so tomorrow I'm gonna do some essentials like washing and shopping and I also plan to do an hour of active kanji study as well as doing a walk locally near some temple.
Anyway, thanks for the comments M and Trevor, they were most welcome. M, you may only be 15, but you're only 3 years younger than me and I've still got many things to learn in life. Everyone takes different maturation paths so it could be you know some things about life that I really don't get, yet, never be afraid to give advice to someone, even if they are older.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Hey i'm glad you met somebody new to kind of guide you. at least for now. Keep going out. I'm sure in Japan there are a lo of places you can visit.
" I can only show you the way, you have to walk through it yourself "
-lol that was deep, just came up with it right now or maybe i read someplace.
As for learning the language, well that can be a little hard. Do you know how many symbols you need to memorize?
Bye for now,
i just step in for a little moment.
M.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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A Japanese elementary school student learns all the Kanas (about 100 characters) which at the 2 phonetic alphabets used in Japan. Then there are kanji, the meaning based Chinese characters. Which an elementary school student learns 1006 of, Junior High students learn about another 1000, though the average adult knows maybe 3000, I think. A top level proficient Japanese writer will know maybe 7000 kanji.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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M.
Thanks, so much...you don't talk too much, what you have to say is very important and I couldn't help but to smile. For me 99% of my "issues" go back to feeling cared about and you definitely made me feel cared about...THANKS!!!!
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Danielle
"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"
"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"
"Never underestimate your power to change yo
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