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My friend and I went to one of our summer concerts last night (our last one is later tonight [ ]), and stopped at one of our favorite restaurants along the way for a bite to eat. While we were eating (and carrying on one of our usually endless conversations), a family came in and were seated at the table next to us. They were a rather handsome family, consisting of a man and woman in their early to mid 30’s; and their son, who I guessed to be about 10 years old (and cute as a button). Involved as we were in our food and conversation, that was about all the attention I gave them.
As we finished our meal, my friend left me to finish my coffee as he made a visit to the “necessary room”. I drained my coffee cup, took a fresh napkin, and wiped my face and hands. Then, as I rose from my chair, I happened to notice that the boy was looking at me, tapping his chin with his fingers. I thought he was being polite and discreetly pointing out to me that I had left some residue of food on my chin; so I smiled at him and said, “Thank you!”, took another fresh napkin, and started wiping my face some more. Naturally his parents were watching all this, and it was at this point that the father said to me, “That’s his way of saying hi.” It was only then that I realized the boy was autistic, and I felt like a first-class jerk. I apologized to the parents for my rudeness, then went to their table and held out my hand to the boy. He didn’t notice I had done so until his mother said to him, “Aren’t you going to shake his hand?” He then looked at me, smiled, and took my hand. Again I smiled at him and said, “Thank you.” “Thank YOU!” the father said to me. I gave them one last smile, and then left them to finish their meal.
That set the mood for the rest of the evening.
It was a small incident, to be sure; but it’s one I shall always cherish.
We do not remember days...we remember moments.
Cesare Pavese
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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That was so nice....
I think I shall have a nice day today....
Thanks,
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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and thank you ron for sharing it with me its 8:12 am on saturday and you have set my ton for this week end.
hugs
peace
tim
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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Thanks Ron for sharing. That little boy saying "Hi" was major.
When I read that, I wanted to know more about autism since my only touch with it has pretty much been Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. I thought these kids lived in a world all their own and never peeked out. What I found was that even if autism is a physical developmental disorder, so many of the characteristics fit any teenager...
http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=autismcharacteristics
smith
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My little brother has autism, and he's slightly older than the boy you encountered, Ron. (He's 12.) As a young child, he had every symptom of autism listed on that website, and I guess he still has some, if not most, of them today. We joke and call him "Mr. Social" because he has no social skills and no social graces. He fails to make eye contact, doesn't speak up, is shy, etc.
However, he's making great strides in his learning process. He used to be in special classes for kids with learning disabilities up until about 2nd grade. Now, he's in middle school and in classes with everyone else and is a solid A/B student. We couldn't be prouder of him.
-Tom 
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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Thats awesome Ron!!! I am glad the kid and you said hi to each other. It's so nice to met complete strangers and be kind to them. You probably made the kid very happy, you would have made me.
~Andy
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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This summer, I volunteered time once a week as a counselor at a day camp for foster children. One of the most adorable kids there, Brendan, most likely had autism, from the looks of his behavior. He would through random and sudden fits and shut himself out from the world for at least half an hour. I would try to talk to him and comfort him, but it wouldn't work. I hated feeling hopeless.
But, on my last day, which was last Thursday, Brendan had totally opened up. He was playing games, participating, not throwing fits, and most importantly, smiling. He wanted to play games with me, including the Memory game, hehe. Anyway, I was talking to the other two counselors later about his changed behavior.
"You know, I'm surprised at how much Brendan has opened up! Why is that?"
"It's all because of you, man!"
"Yeah, he really loves you."
And it just touched me. I was able to reach out to this kid and help him open up. It made me feel so happy inside, it was really emotional. It really made my day, or even my week.
Just thought I'd share. 
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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see the only time you are hopless is whne you dont at least try.
tom your awesome bro
like a true friend you walked into that boys life when every one else was walking away....that takes great courage and love.
peace
tim
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Yes, it was a very nice day....
I made a friend....
I bought 4 X-mas gifts....
I found 3 new cook books for my collection....
Kevy and I are going to have a nice quiet evening at home and a yummy dinner....
A very nice day indeed....
Thanks again,
Marc....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I've never dealt with or met anyone with autism. But I did meet a little boy that was severly beaten for years by his father. I didn't know, but found out real quick by accident.
I used to drive school bus, and the one morning a new kid got on at a regular stop. He sat down, and we proceded on our way. A little while later he was acting up, and raised my voice to him to calm down. I said "Stephen you'll have to sit in your seat". OMG did everything go wrong. He curled up in a ball and tried to like hide in the corner of the seat. I instantly knew what was wrong. When I finished my route, I left my bus sit in the parking lot where it was in the way, and went into the elementary principles office and began to chew some ass. She said were not aloud to release that information to bus drivers, and I said you better check the laws. Just like if someone is allergic to bees, we have to know. She called later in the day to apologise, and proceded to tell me what was going on. I was right, he was abused by a man, and to him all men are bad when they raise there voices. I knew I had to deal with him in a special way. To this day when ever he sees me he runs up and says HI. It's been like 5 years, and I know he'll always find me somewhere.
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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Ron, that was sooo awesome of you to do!!! I once worked with a 4 year old who had autism at a "special-ed" type preschool (I was there as a student-helper for field experience), I honestly think it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. He didn't speak but showed emotions through "grunts" and facial expressions. I would get so frustrated because I had no clue how to help him and it was so hard for me to see an innocent child with such limited abilities.
Tom, your story about your brother made me feel so hopeful. I hope that the child I once worked with will have a similar situation to that of your brother...functioning in a regular classroom.
I am a Senior at BGSU as a Special education major. I know I have not seen the last of Autistic children...I just hope that I can learn what I need to so I don't feel so helpless and that I am able to touch them and get them to open up by being the "one who cares"
Thanks guys!!!
Danielle
"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"
"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"
"Never underestimate your power to change yo
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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My wife has spent the last three years as classroom helper for a boiy, now about 7 years old, with Asperger's Syndrome (autistic spectrum disorder).
She has found some useful things. She attended laods of talks, since the school didn't train her.
The most important things are that the disorder creates HUGE awareness of surroundings in the sufferer. A lawnmower half a mile away can hold their attention when you can't hear it
The sufferer is literally only aware of self. "Autism" means "Self-ness". While they can express emotions easily enough, understanding other people's emotions is almost impossible. So an autistic child may hurt other children by not understanding what is going on.
Depending on the level of the affliction many children and adults can function well in "our" world. There are very few "idiot-savants" like Hoffman protrayed, theough.
A firm, rule based sstructure helps them feel normal. Rules are things most sufferers need and understand. Lack of rules and their world, literally, falls apart. Consistent firm rules, fairly enforced, are meat and drink to such a person.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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{{{hugs}}} 
Ron and Tom; thank you both of you for sharing... Hugs. 
