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It was SO BAD it was actually rather funny! *chuckles wryly to oneself*
Let me first explain a bit, set the picture for you...
I have this ad on a Swedish gay community site, as I've mentioned before... I've had it up for a while now, and nobody's really shown much of any interest. I see people stopping by, but nobody mailed me. Not until a few days ago that is...
I didn't mention it, because I was sort of dubious wether it would actually lead anywhere. Well, we exhcanged messages back and forth a bit over the course of a few days, and - oh wait, get this; the guy's handle is "handsome_guy_available" (in Swedish of course) and he's 33 y/o. Anyway, as I was getting to, we exchanged messages. Day before yesterday he gave me his phone #, I told him I'd call today because yesterday I was set to visit my doctor friend with his doctor wife (and we had a REALLY nice evening - apart from the fact their two little daughters screamed and cried a lot - and discussed weird quirks with the christian religion, which they practice themselves by the way, including how stupid creationists are). Thus, I called him today, and after a while we managed to get a time set to meet up down in the city to go have a coffe or such.
Well, by the time he was actually FINISHED with the stuff he was doing, it was late enough that food was more appropriate, so we started to walk around looking for places to eat. By then I've noticed he isn't really that handsome, or at least I don't think so, but hey... One should never judge a goose by its appearance, or however the saying goes.
He really seemed to want to go to a restaurant, but I'm a bit reluctant due to not being very rich, etc. Of course, I tell him this, but the message doesn't really seem to hit home, he's still having his mind set on a restaurant dinner, and he keeps talking about how much he loves to eat at restaurants and how he does it almost every day etc. He tries to be helpful and think of places where the prices aren't too outrageous though, but he keeps changing his mind. If we talk about chinese or thai, he says how he knows this thai place, and then I mention pasta's nice, and he immediately switches track and says like, 'oh, pasta! Yeah, that's good, such-and-such is a really good place for that', he can't EVER decide!
Well, finally, after we've been walking some distance we end up near where me and Nick ate fish the last evening when he came to visit last December. We have finally settled on that place and am ALMOST there when he spots an acquaintance of his whom he hasn't seen for years. Then he decides to simply stop right there and talks to him and his girlfriend for like ten minutes and talk about his fancy flat at one of the best streets in the city with a 25sqm balcony where he has a goldfish pond and six meters of flowerbed and a goddamn peach tree with 24 peaches growing on it each bigger than a tennis ball, a flat which he bought for $112.000 and is now worth $340.000. He goes on how this is all thanks to his hard work over the course of several years, turning the house into a co-operative building society, and then tells of how he in a few years will move to the French riviera and live there during the winter months. He probably expects these people whom he hasn't met in a looong time to be really interested and impressed, and they nod and go like 'wow. $340.000, huh?', and probably think, 'what a snobby, self-centered dork!'.
Well anyway, he manages to tear himself away from those two, and we go inside the restaurant. We order food, I have fish soup and it's amazing, and make conversation. We talk about stuff, nothing really important I suppose, but we've only just met. He talks more about how much he likes restaurants, and how the one we're at seems nice and the food's really great. He probably says the food's great like eight or twelve times over the course of half an hour. Not in a contrieved way, it's like he keeps forgetting he's already said it or something. He tells how nice it is to eat at restaurants, and that it's reeally nice to eat at luxury restaurants, because the food's arranged so nicely when it's served, and that it tastes really nice. ...Except, you don't really get full from a $100 meal, he admits.
Well, that figures. Can't be fashionable to eat very much at such places... Ugh. I tell him I find it offensive to pay $100 for a dinner you don't even walk away full from when elsewhere in this world people starve to death. He doesn't get it, he just thinks it's cool.
After dinner, he has coffee, and a pear brandy.
Just after we've eaten, he spots his good friend and neighbour, a lady that's around 55 I would think and MUST have had a facelift because her face was just way smoother than her neck. He invites her immediately to sit down and start talking vigorously with her like he hasn't seen her in weeks. Oh well... I kinda sit there and hope maybe he'll remember WE were supposed to meet.
Don't get me wrong, she's really nice and such, but he knows her and I do not, and they talk SO MUCH. THEN, friend of neighbor and acquaintace of guy I'm meeting ALSO comes into the restaurant and is invited to our table just as promptly. New lady - whom is older than the neighbor - is also really nice, but now we're four at the table, three of whom I do not know!
I talk some, but not much. Guy seems oblivious to the fact I'm not really happy with the course of current events. I was hoping to have been on my feet by now and possibly on my way home, but I have to sit through while his female friends order dinner and eat it. Guy has another brandy, and more coffee.
Finally, the meal's over. The women pay and leave before we're done. We pay too. I've had a $8.50 dish of soup. He's had fourty dollars' worth of fish with mashed potatoes in white sauce, one cider, three coffees and two pear brandys. I pay my SKR99 with a SKR100 bill and keep the change. He starts nagging on me how I should tip the staff.
'Why?`, I ask. 'Tip's already included in the bill.' (Well, it IS!)
He thinks it's good manners. I remind him his economic situation's somewhat different than mine, that his $40 dinner he just had will feed me for a week. He doesn't really listen. I remind him leaving a SKR1 tip might look insulting instead (it's worth a hair more than ten cents). He still don't listen and keep nagging about it, and I say I'm not interested in a further discussion. Told him I'd start tipping when I live in a $340.000 flat. I'm not sure he really got it, but at least he shut up about it.
We walked and talked a bit more, along the way we met two men holding hands.
Last time - FIRST time - I was on a date, the same thing happened. We met an American gay group with around a dozen boys and girls in total at the Skansen Kronan, and two guys cuddled up there on the hill in the evening darkness. Is this ALWAYS going to happen, fate rubbing my nose in it?
Am I never going to experience it myself? 
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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But when you come to think of it, those dating communities are nothing more than clearing houses for loosers and drips.
Lenny, you are better than that....
There are many many nice people out there and you seem to get around enough on your cute little adventures to meet some of them.
You can do it....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You know, it was so bad it is almost hilarious. or woudl be if it weren't so awful
Lenny, you did great. He was a dickhead. So "Next!"
After all, in a weird way it was fun!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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*Hugs* No worried there aare more birds in the sky... Some of them wont be so concerned about his own feathers and down either...
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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You stood up for yourself, maintained your own sense of what's right for you despite him being pretty self-centered.
Thank goodness you aren't married to the guy! EEEK!
(BTW, email coming soon!)
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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sorry to hear that it was such a bad time. But at least you went. I'm proud of you for that. You weren't rude and you stood up for yourself. Bad dates are all part of the experience.
In some ways this guys sounds like my wife. She loves to eat out, but can never decide where she wants to eat. I'm ususally satisfied to eat anywhere so I will ask her where she wants to go. "Anywhere" is usually the answer, but if I mention a place, she says she doesn't want to eat there. I got to the point of pulling into the first McDonalds or Taco Bell (two places I know she hates) whenever she says "anywhere." It really hasn't helped, but does get her into a discussion.
Don't worry about tipping if the tip is already figured in. They don't really expect more anyways. Personally I hate restaurants that do that. IMHO a tip is a bonus for good service and shouldn't be required. I also find it distasteful that restaurants pay less to their help because they expect customers to make up the difference in tips. The employer should be responsible for paying their employees. Oh well, enough of my rant.
Keep on dating, Lenny. Sooner or later you will find someone nice.
Think good thoughts,
e
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I don't really feel any wiser. No solutions have popped into my head overnight other than selling my things in order to buy some plane tickets, a two-way for me and a single for one of you guys after I've abducted you to take home with me.
Not sure who I'll choose... Timmy's so nice to hug, and e, you LOOK really nice to hug, and so does David...  You all have a side to your personality that is so attractive, unlike Mr. Peacock I went out and had soup with...
Thanks to Nick too by the way. It was so good talking to you yesterday, it really calmed me. :):)
(Oh, I wish "Long" would have replied to my ad instead, he's visited my ad twice and he's got SUCH a beautiful butt! LOL, he shows it on his ad, though in a rather stylish way, with light playing off it that really makes the picture look rather artistic...)
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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So reply to "long"!::-)
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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You can abduct me. I won't mind, though my wife might object. But you have to wait til I'm finished with school. ::-)
Think good thoughts,
e
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Oh... My... F... God. This has been the worst evening in a long time. 
