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ch.oo.lo
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Michigan, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 49
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It's kind of too late for me to ask this, considering I already turned it in, but do you think this is any good? I'm sure there are a number of grammatical errors, and maybe even a few spelling ones since I didn't go over it with spell check or anything (it was written in 30 minutes, give me a break). If you disagree with anything I say, you can tell me if you want, doesn't matter. Mainly I want to know if it completely sucks or if it's kinda good or really good or okay or whatever, just something!  thanx.
September 11 is a day which will be remembered. Remembered until the last person from the witnessing generation has died off, the movies made are no longer popular and the books written are no longer read (which will probably be around the same time). By it will probably just be another day that people don’t have to go to school or work. The 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center marked the beginning of 1 ½ wars, a division among the United States and a small, but significant, resurgence in blatant prejudice. After the Towers fell and loved ones were lost, many were emotionally scarred. The uncertainty of America’s future was on everyone’s mind causing even greater (mental) turmoil. The WTC’s absence in the background of Lady Liberty and the question of what was to come marked the beginning of America’s near downfall.
War was the only answer to the Pentagon and WTC attacks. Without question, in President Bush’s mind, America’s only option was to retaliate against the Al Qaeda terrorist network. Not only did the attack on Afghanistan prove to be a moderately successful invasion it also was a model for other countries. A demonstration as to what would happen if you attacked “the world’s policeman”. Bush’s decision to bomb Afghanistan was largely supported by the United Nations, as Al Qaeda was seen to be the cause of similar attempts at disaster in the past. This was a “good” decision on President Bush’s part, for that, he is applauded.
I mentioned there were only 1 ½ wars. Technically, there were two: U.S. versus Afghanistan/Al Qaeda and U.S./Britain/a few other countries versus Iraq. America vs. the Al Qaeda terrorists was a war, albeit a short one, but a war nonetheless. Attack on the W.T.C. and counterattack, Bush strategically bombed their country. The war against Iraq was more of an attack on our part with no counter attack from them. The war was based upon false information regarding Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction and greed on the part of President Bush. America went into the war without the U.N.’s support, not a smart move. This turned a number of countries (countries which probably would have been supportive, had Bush chosen a different way to deal the Hussein), and people, against the United States and Bush.
Not only have these wars killed thousands of people, they have cost Bush a bit more than a pretty penny. Actually, they cost him 87 billion dollars. This, plus all the other money he’s managed to lose (some, as a result of 9/11), has broken the record for the largest annual deficit in history. Due, to the fact that now America has no money, the U.N.’s support is now necessary, but there are still a couple countries which, understandably, refuse to help. So now America waits, with its troops overseas, wading in imaginary money, for the war to end and President Bush to step up and fix what he broke.
September 11, 2001 should have had a great impact on everyone’s life who was alive to see it, and witness the aftermath. A lot of people would not be who they are today, if it were not for 9/11. Unfortunately, I am not one of them. Chances are, I would probably be the exact same person I am now, the only difference being the fact that I wouldn’t know/be interested in knowing what the World Trade Center was/is. The first thing I thought when I saw the second plane hit was, “What’s the World Trade Center?” Then, our class had a discussion about whether or not it was an accident, I thought it wasn’t, but otherwise didn’t participate in the discussion. I was only in 7th grade, honestly, I didn’t care that much.
The fact that I used to be uncomfortable with flying had nothing to do with September 11, and I got over that when I went on Mr. Ford’s plane to Florida. I wasn’t afraid that the people who looked like they could be from the Middle East were toting a bomb. I wasn’t afraid of getting anthrax. Why? I don’t know. It wasn’t that I “knew it couldn’t happen to me”. Maybe, it was that I just didn’t care. That’s harsh, I know. Thousands of people died and the only thing I could think of was how sweet the recreation scenes would look in the movie they make about it.
So, how has 9/11 changed my life? Has it? Perhaps it increased my dissatisfaction with the American government, and decreased my faith in America. The former is most definitely true. Has it made me realize how much I don’t like people? No, I knew that before, and without it I would still know. Patriot’s Day made me become less patriot, that’s kind of ironic.
I really don’t know how 9/11 has changed me as an individual. Could it be that it was such a pivotal moment in history that I cannot imagine life without it? Or could it be that it was just another day? Granted, if it was just another day, it was a day in which thousands of people died and the “world greatest nation” was attacked. But, technically, thousands of people die daily anyway.
So, now, America waits, perhaps an entirely different country. And then there’s little ole me, skeptical about Bush’s intentions with the wars, and perhaps unchanged by the tragic events of 9/11.
THE END
By the way, the title is, " September 11, 2001: A bird in the Hand is Worth Two Bombed by Bush"
Thanx for reading.
-The One and Only Ch.Oo.Lo
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Grammar and Composition..... C
Content..... B-
Preparation..... C
Over all it is a good effort, next time use spell check, you paid alot of money for the tool... use it.
You should write more, try a story. My best advice to you is to take your time and reread what you write before turning it in.
Oh in case you're interested, I was a teacher of sorts for 23 1/2 years.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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trust me here, the key is revision. I still have papers i did over a year ago and i still find mistakes while back then it was perfect.
Overall without no dought it was a great essay. Not bad given the time you wrote it in.
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i agree with marc, i figured B-/C+ range. i revise things into the ground, though (and i wonder why i've never published, ha!), so i might be nit-picky.
overall it was a good paper, though. let us know what you got on it?
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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