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Can I ask my silent friends to come back?
Is it safe again?
I know you don't controll people, but one person was hurting my friends (you included) and keeping some away.
I want my family back. I know it's selfish.
Please.
You are all so worth fighting for, don't let anyone tell you different,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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if they do come stepping out of the woodworks, they'll have plenty of sets of open arms to come back into.
mine for one, even if i'm new! i've seen peeks of people i haven't met yet: trevor and charlie, and i'm sure there's more.
so hello, i'm heathyr.  and if/when any of you decide to slip back, i look forward to meeting you.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Hey, GM - nice to meet you. * H UG S * I took you literally with that open arms thing.
I do appreciate the tough decision that was made - it is hard when your friends can't get along yet each is an individual with individual needs and contributions.
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I posted this thread because I have a few thoughts to share with you all but I will wait for it to be safe again.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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I missed you, too, friend! very glad to see you again!!
Hugs from Thailand!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You know as well that I have not told that poster to go. And that what I have done is told him very plainly that I require one of two things from him:- Good behaviour
- No behaviour at all
With this in mind, and knowing that human nature fallible, I would say it is as safe as it was before this unusual behaviour started.
I must remind us all that he has serious issues. We have tried very hard to allow him to present them to us and to start to learn how to resolve them. Unless he can do so calmly, without accusing people of things, without seeking to enforce his opinions, and without attacking, when I believe we will all recognise the different nature he shows us and applaud it, there is no place for him here. This is not "until". It is "unless"
Since one further transgression means he is gone then I feel he will not remain, through his choice, and through my action. It may be before that transgression that he chooses to go. It will most assuredly be after it.
I can tell you all that I feel very bad about this. He will be only the second person ever that has been required to go if this happens.
If he behaves well I also trust you all to allow him the ability to post, and to talk to him reasonably, sensibly and as the gentlemen and ladies I know you each to be. He is on a final warning, and I don't want anyone to provoke him to step over the edge. This is why I say that this unpleasantness has stopped.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I wanted to make a new post about faith. Not to provoke but for a real dialog. I felt I could only do that if he was gone. He cannot seem to deal with rational discussion of this topic without thinking we are somehow out to get him. I assure you we are not.
Plus I know he has driven people away. That is a darn shame. The wonderful people here do not deserve the treatment they were getting.
I guess I will save that thread for a day when we really are free again.
Sorry, but when my friends are hurt I get a little upset.
Kevin :'-(
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I would post it.
Do not let any other perosn control your life
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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We need to try to get things back to normal....well maybe normal isn't the right word 
(\\__/) And if you don't believe The sun will rise
(='.'=) Stand alone and greet The coming night
(")_(") In the last remaining light. (C. Cornell)
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Normal ... hehe Thanks E.J.
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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just reluctant to post. I know that I sometimes sound heavy-handed and controlling or preachy, it is something I need to work on. But when I do post it is from my heart. I tend to stay away from religion and politics though. Those topics tend to cause the most dissention and misunderstanding as each individual has their own opinion or belief. This is not wrong, as these beliefs are what make a person an individual, but any perceived attack or questioning from outside can sound an immediate call to arms. So I tend to listen to others opinions, assimilate them with my own to determine how I feel about those opinions, then keep my mouth shut if they differ one iota.
There is one exception to my personal rule above. I do have a friend who follows current events as much as I do and when we meet, often makes a statement guaranteed to be controversial. I then take the opposite side (whether that is my belief or not) and we debate our positions. It provides entertainment and knowledge for those around us (sometimes they think we will come to blows, teehee) and makes us broaden our own view point. It also draws us much closer as friends.
Message boards such as this one tend to make discussion without misunderstanding difficult as one only has the written word of the author from which to draw conclusions. Other clues such as body language or even just knowing what the other person looks like are not available. And that is why timmy's rule of writing while respecting others' opinions is so important to remember.
See, I told ya I get on a soapbox.
Hugs, Charlie
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You always have some great insights that i find thought provoking. Even when I disagree, I like to hear you point of view.
Glad to see you here,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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The main thing is, as you have said, to put strong opinions with strong and cogent arhguments to back them up. And then to listen to others, and to be sensitive to their needs as you discuss (not debate, for the body language point you make is essential). And to be prepared to move your view.
I have never minded a controversial opinion:-D All I have ever minded is a controversial expression of any opinion.
But that is behind us now.
To the "silent gang": By becoming silent in adversity you put too much trust in my judgement. Be yourselves and counter with gentleness any unlovely posts.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I like it too Charlie.....
I know we have had our differences of opinion.
All that does not mean that I don't respect your views.
Hope to talk with you more,
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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No Message Body
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robert bryce
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Really getting into it |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414
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then why are YOU trying to hurt him?????..Honest and unconditional love is the antidote for anger..Where were all you nice people when tears were so blinding and the memories so hurtful..real easy to hate rob aint it guys...rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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If you want to get back into our lives then you have to undo the bad feelings you generated in the people who found your posts and actions deeply distressing.
"Poor me" is not the way to achieve this.
Consistent decent manners, decent well thought out posts, gentle help, rational words, these are among the traits you have to display.
People are frightened of you. You generated fear in them. And that is not nice for you either.
Don't do the "poor rob" thing. Just be the sane, sweet man I know you are behind all the oddness you have shown. Do that and people will start, slowly, to risk accepting you again. But it is a risk they are taking.
I don't mean apologise. We've seen those. Apology is fine, but walk your talk.
No-one hates you. They just don't like you much at present. That is in your power to change within the rule of good behaviour or no behaviour at all.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Re: You know I can make no guarantees 
