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Hopefully third time is the charm, like saying goes (I hope  ), since this is the third time I've started to write this post... Can anyone lend a few more hours to the day?
Anyways, on last friday the gay student club at my uni went clubbin' at the local gay nightclub. We assembled around 6PM to the home of 2 of the club members (they're a couple) for a before party, which consisted of lots of hanging out and stuff like that. Around 10.30 PM we bravely set off for the nightclub, in an absolutely charming weather of sleet rain and wind. And about 30 mins later a group of very wet people arrived at the club.
It seems 11PM was rather early at the club, since there weren't that many people there and the dance floor was empty. A few of the more experinced clubbers in our group did go to dance pretty soon, but, it being my first time, I waited until there was more people on the floor. Between 12PM and 1AM me and one other "newbie" (as in first time to go dancing) joined the other people on the dance floor and I'm glad I did! I never realised how much fun dancing could be, even if I don't know how to dance. But luckily no-one seemed to care about my dancing skills, as long as I wasn't stepping on their toes...
There was a smoke machine, and lots of colourful lights going around the room, so more than once the whole dance floor disappeared in a cloud of colour-changing smoke, which did create a pretty awesome effect for those dancing there Nothing but smoke, lights and the beat of the music around you, very surreal 
All too soon people started drifting home, but me and the "newbie" that came to the dance floor with me decided we wanted to stay longer, which meant missing the last busses of the day. Well, we came up with a brilliant solution: We stayed at the club dancing (and as the night wore on talking, since we were both getting a bit tired) until it closed at 4AM. After that we walked to the trainstation, noticed it was about 2 hours until our trains left and decided to walk along a road going alongside the tracks to the next station that is open all night, so that we could get out of the cold (wet coat, sweaty shirt and cold weather isn't a nice combination). So we walked the 2-3km (1.5-2 miles, I think) to the next station, where we hanged out talking until our trains left, a bit past 6AM. And I finally got home around 6:30AM and to bed a bit after 7AM, feeling very tired, but having had a BLAST!
Setras
That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
-Master Li in Neil Gaiman's Sandman
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I thought I'd make this it's own post, since the club-post already was pretty long-ish...
Anyways, on Saturday my mom seemed to be in a better mood than in ages, so I decided I might as well finally tell her that I'm gay. So I asked her if she had a moment and if we could talk. She said se did, so I told her that I have something to tell her, but that I don't know how else to say it, other than just saying it. And after that I just said "I'm gay". She looked a bit surprised at first, and was quiet for almost a minute before saying that it was ok, and that I was still her son and she loves me no matter what! :):) She did say that she's sorry that my life is gonna be harder than if I was str8, but but I told her that I'm gonna be fine, and even if(/when?) there will be some difficulties, there won't be anything I won't survive. We talked for about 30 minutes, and she asked stuff like how did I know I'm gay and when did I realise it and stuff like that, but she really seems to be cool with it And after that CSI Miami came on, and we started watching that.
After telling my mom, my brother (4 years younger than me) was the only member of the family I hadn't told, so I decided I might as well tell him now, instead of waiting another week or 2. I didn't get a change until Sunday night, but when I did get it, I took it. He was playing some game on his computer, when I came to his room and started chatting about the game. After a while I said I there was something that he should know, and that I didn't know how else to say it other than str8 out. After which I just said "I'm gay", pretty much like with mom. He too looked at me for a moment (and died in the game) before asking how long I had known. We too chatted about it for a while, him saying he didn't really care if I was gay or str8 or whatever and me saying that if he has or gets any questions he wants to ask, he can do so.
So now my family knows, and they all seem to be cool with it. Mom seems like she's gonna get a few extra grey hairs from worrying after me, but other than trying to convince her that I'm gonna be fine, I don't know what else I can do about it. There is onething I found a bit... surprising, though. I know everyone allways says that coming out gets easier as you do it to more people, but the difference in how easy it was to tell my dad, and now to my mom was surprisingly big. And then telling my brother was again way easier than telling my mom. I was really surprised how fast it seems to get easier... Not that I'm complaining, just a bit surprised
But I think I've gone on about me for long enough, so I'll stop typing and just wish everyone a very good day
Setras
That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
-Master Li in Neil Gaiman's Sandman
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There is sooo much good news in your two posts! Wheeeeeee!;-D
I can't tell you how happy I am that everything is going so well, not so long after you were worried and concerned and feeling very shy, both about telling your family and socializing. But there you are, big as life, doing it all!
It makes me remember my first gay club. I didn't go until I was older than you, already out of Grad School and in my first job. But I got to go with an older more experienced friend, and it was terrific. A pretty small place, kind of in the country, actually, and not high tech. But at the time, it sure felt like a big scary place.
That's the night I fell for the gorgeous bar-tender, and went back lots of times trying to chat him up. But as the months went by, I found out that everybody else thought he was gorgeous, too...and that's how he got such good tips...being friendly to one and all...and already with a boyfriend...*sighs*
Ah, memories!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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setras that's AWESOME!! that's great and AMAZING! i'm so happy your mom handled it so well, and it sounds like she was real caring! and the younger brother--i know most young-teens/pre-teens auto-assume or think that gay = dirty, or bad. the big joke, of course, being, "Oh that's GAY!" on playgrounds and such. my daughter still giggles when she hears the word "gay," but she doesn't make faces or anything like that.
being 8 years old, well ... she giggles hearing about straight couples too, ROFL!! so there you go.
still, i'm REAL happy for you--you were so concerned and worried, but you were SO BRAVE! mothers are always going to worry--i can tell you this flat out, since i am one, if she didn't get a few more grays over this? she'd find something ELSE to get some grays over. mothers are not happy unless they/we worry.
take good care, okay?? haven't talked to you in awhile so i hope you're still doing great!
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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setras
i am so happy for you! i am so glad things went so well with your mom and brother. wish things had gone as well when i tried to tell my mom and sisters. hope things countinue to go as well for you.
peace and love to you
tony
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onnittelu or onnentoivotus, I'm not sure which.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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There comes a point when you don't need to bother to tell people any more. That's why the first few are so important. After a while it is just normal to be you. And no-one cares.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Setra,
I am so happy for you I could bust. Having acceptance from the people we care most about is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It takes a brave guy to take those first steps, and we are all proud of you.
Also, just move to the music. Glad you had fun there too.
Love and hugs to you,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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I second Kevin.
And when (if) you go clubbing again, just go on the floor, and let the beat fill your mind and your body, and move to the sound.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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The third time was indeed the charm, wasn't it?
I guess for you, it took being in those "vibes" among "your own kind" to give you the final impetus to take those last big steps. Whatever the situation, may I add my congratulations and wish you all the best!!!
As for mom and gray hairs, that's what moms are for, right? . It seems, though, that you may have caught her so off guard that she forgot to scold you for being out all night in such weather!
{{{hugs!!!}}} Keep on clubbin'!
We do not remember days...we remember moments.
Cesare Pavese
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Comin' out to mom and l'il bro, then goin' clubbin' and dancing. That must have made for one very good weekend.
{{HUGS}}
Think good thoughts,
e
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The club goes clubbin' 
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Re: The club goes clubbin' 
