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OK, just got this from a friend to my email... I hope you get a few laughs out of it too.  ) It's items found on menu's in Finnish restaurants. After each excerpt is (Restaurant, City, Year).
Setras
Real, authentic Finnish menus from restaurants:
Shrimp and crap salad for two.
You can have crap on your pizza.
Tepid chicken salad with bread.
We give you water only when you ask.
(Café Rico, Turku, 1997 )
Dead snails from Åland in garlic and butter sauce.
The cock is recommending today's beef.
We can serve your steak with much blood, some blood, medium or well-done.
(Ramada Hotel, Turku, 1999 )
The house's tart is called Torttu in Finnish and is warm.
Ice cream with warm bear halves and toffee sauce.
Finnish mushroom salad - wild, salty and sticky mushrooms with cream sauce and pickles.
(Fransmanni, Turku, 1993 )
Mexican burrito with mutilated chicken meat and salsa.
(Raxx, Turku, 1998 )
Try traditional Finnish pee soup.
We can bring the nuts and drinks to your room (room service card). Drink something if you want (room service card). On our breakfast table you will find the cheese, the meat and some others.
Omelet is made with recent eggs from a local farm where the chickens are alive.
(Hotelli Helka, Helsinki, 1993 )
This week is "bird meat week" but we also have a good selection of mammal meat.
Japanese guests can have traditional breakfast with stinky rice and fishes.
Cocktails are served in bar and there only. You must drink cocktails there only.
Blini served with cream and not real caviar.
(Hamburger Börs, Turku, 1997 )
Tar ice cream - Finnish special. Good for people who eat tar and lingon berries.
(Viking Restaurant Harald, Turku, 1998 )
Children's hamburger is served with the French Pizzas after clock 21 are not. Sorry.
(Memphis, Helsinki, 1994 )
That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
-Master Li in Neil Gaiman's Sandman
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I've just had dinner! Oh, and by the way, I'll pass on the tart too. *giggle*
Thanks, my friend... Those were some good laughs (though not for these establishments, I'll wager... Wonder how many Japanese guests stay for breakfast at Hamburger Börs. LOL!  )
Take care:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Yup yup yup.
A lot of places have mistakes like that, like the Tokyo Hotel that had a sign stating: "Please Feel Free To Take Advantage Of The Chamber Maid."
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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Moi Setras!
I love these, I'll bring them to school to-morrow.
Moikka
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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Could I have just a quarter bear with my ice cream? 
