|
|
Guest
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
|
|
|
been a LONG while scince ive writtne on this board. it seems i only write on this board when ever i have a problem...not excalty the nicest thing to do to you guys but...well...*no comment* 
some of you mite remember a kid who wrote on the board this summer. maybe the Names Sal and tyler ring a bell...i forget which name i was using at the time, but im sure some of you will rememvber me.
well alot has changed...ALOT...i was going to the private school and it only seemed like it was me and tyler in the class...for some strange reason the whole time i was in that private school...tyler and me were never clicking like we used to...really heart breaking to me. When ever i looked at him i would want to just hold him.
Well like a said alot has changed. I met a guy named david...were just friends and i dont wanna go any further than that but hes a nice guy someone i can talk to from time to time. I came out to my best friend (not the easiest thing to do) after i told him i was shaking for a good 10 or 15 minutes...he was totally cool about it, i knew he would be too. I told him all about tyler and how i felt about him. he kind olf luaghed at the idea of it but i was talknig to someone who i knew for 2 years and it was good to share it with them. it seemed after i told him he got a better grasp of who i really was...he fit the peices together...the way i acted around tyler...why i would cry sometimes infront of him. why i cryed my heart out htat day at summer camp.
but well to top that all off...tyler has left the private school (this is about 2 weeks ago) and well i wasnt very happy to say the least. The new girl told on him about his marijuana problem and he withdrew before they could kick him out. the day after...i couldnt stand it...i had to be with tyler...i withdrew as well (i was getting tired of the schools stupid rules anywho).
my smart ass self thought that tyler would be going to the same school that i was zoned for...thats wut i was told. well to all my avail...trying ot be with tyler...we are farther away than i want us to be. and everytime i do see him i get all defensive like i dont even care about him...which is totally not the case here...this is the guy ive cryed for...the one i love (i feel it is love other say it is lust)
but for some reason when i got to the public school (lyman) i seemed to be have a great time. all the good looking girls wanted to make friends the 1st day but me im so shy right now that they prolly thought i was a buster the way i was acting. i got to meet some freinds i knew from friends at the private school. my best and prolly only true true true blue freiend i have right now is this girl named brittney. she a buety of a girl...very perty in the face area..but she isnt exacly um....how do i say this..petite. i used to crush on her wen i very first met her about 6month before this whole thing.
but so far it seems that the whole public school thing is ok. i have at least one cute guy in every one of my classes which i think is good but i am totally not making any moves at all...i do not want to be attached to these guys the way i was to tyler. icedently tylers dad works at lyman...and there is a kid that i think looks exacly like tyler...same body build, same face, same gorgoues eye...wait...no lusting( youll find out in a second why)
ok onto the reason why cuz u guy are prolly woundering why too. well...im moving...from orlando, to key west...my home town...in 3 or 4 weeks. and its kinda sad becuz some of the girls in my classes i could tell really like me...and i dont wanna get invlovled with anything...i just want to get back home.
so hears my delima...as of lastnite...i am out of it...i have been weird all day and all nite. i was up till 2 listening to thugz mansion by 2pac...i was thinking of tyler(and a certain other special someone, yeh you kno who you are). tyler this and tyler that...i have to see him one time beforei leave. i was tearing all 1st peroid and trying to hide it...becuz i am still very shy around these people. after that i was all sobby that day...i guess brittney being out of town for a few days wasnt that much of a help either...but damn it right wen i was starting to do fine...guess who walks right in front of me...the tyler look alike...i almost broke down there but i gathered myself up pretty quick. the people in the public school dont play...and i cant let them have any peice of me...they are not my friends from the private school.
the resto f the day went by ok i guess. the girls in my biology classed really cheered me up...they wouldnt stop poking at me. i have enough of it tho...i playfully grabbed one of there big as hoop earings and they were like 'ok funs over'. but they kept at it...that was until this one girl who i think is pretty hot for a white girl leaves to go to the 'bathroom' and comes back crying...her bf did sumthing to really piss her off...and with her crying i went back into my stage...i could see that the girls surrounding her didnt pay to much attentoin wich to me is a. they were letting her be so she recupes b. didnt care c. this has happened more than once. while i was thinknig aobut that i couldnt help but think of tyler. then i had to use the 'bathroom'. (translation = i broke down)
good thing the lunch bell rang right wen i go back. so i head to lunch and the lines are HUGE i am litterally waitng in line for 20 minutes. so i had some time to let my watery eyes get back to normal before anyone i knew saw. so i sat and waited for brittneys friend markita who is so crazy ints not even funny...she walks up to people and says 'hey....oh never mind i dont kno u' for fun...and its pretty damn funny too. but the rest of the day was a bummer. i didnt break down but i came home very quiet. my mom knew sumthin was wrong. i told her to not worry about it ive just been feeling weird...then she says 'is it about someone...*i stared at her for a second* or something'. i couldnt stay in the house so i told her i was going to the mall ide be home in a little bit.
so i come home then go over to my friends house who i havent seen in like 4 or 5 weeks and we do some catching up. but his sister had invited a certain person over who i hated...the girl that told on tyler. i couldnt even look her in the eye. i think she has some personal problems. anyways i come home and now im typing this.
besides tyler...there is one other thing i am very worried about...going back to key west. i mean i want ot go bac but im so scared...some people there kno about me...mostly becuz me and those people had a little fling...and i just hope in my abscence that my orientation didnt become the subject htey decided to talk about. am i also scared becuase...well becuase i am so different than my old freidns probably remember me...and and i think the change mite be to much...for me i have to deal with some pretty problamatic things back home...moslty gay bashing *gasp*. you mite be saying i thought u didnt come out until this summer...and even then only a few people kno..thruth is...yes..but for some reason some people like to talk shit and scince its key west the conversation always ends up in being your gay.
i dunno wuts going to happen over the next few days...i just hope i can see tyler before i leave and maybe tell him or do something nice for him before i go.
"oh baby tell me whyed you have to go
cuz this pain i feel it wont go away
and today...im officailly missing you"
~Angel (Chungito)
PS: another challenge is telling my boss who hired me a week ago that i will be moving soon...im freaked about that...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I hope you get to see Tyler before you go.
Love and happiness to you,
Kevin
::-)
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's OK to write only when you feel like it, like when you got problems that you need to sort out yourself or with the help of others...
SO good to hear from you again! I have been wondering many times what's been happening in your life, what you're up to. You wrote such interesting and thought-provoking little essays about yourself, that was great, and I am glad you've written another now... I always love reading them.
I can only imagine what it feels like moving away from a guy that one feels for as strongly as you do for Tyler, I don't really know what to say about that. It's cool though that you're close to your emotions, maybe you think it's annoying having to "go to the bathroom", but it's actually a rather adorable quality in a guy... Try not to lose that as you get older. 
I hope you'll do okay at least the time that is left, and that the move goes well too. I don't think your old mates at Key West will be talking about you in the way you fear, after all, if they participated, it's not really something they'd want to talk about.
It'll work out, you'll see.
Take care, and please try to write some more if you can, alright?
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Welcome back !!! 
Hey Angel... Been missing you too you know. 
) 
