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so, my campus is holding this mini benefit (if it can be called that, since don't benefits = celebrities?!) at the end of term, to raise awareness about hate/hate crimes/domestic violence. for one thing, i'm a bit upset that while it's implied gays/lesbians would be inclusive here, they also don't .. SAY that. my college is so snobby i can't stand it sometimes.
anyways, given what happened before thanksgiving break (and given the word spread like wildfires), i was asked if i wanted to participate, and i said yes. thinking it was like, advertising or spreading word or something or other. well, they were discussing music; they want to "borrow" my old high school's brand-new fancy-pants auditorium/theatre, but aren't sure if they can on such short notice. so then, we'd go across the street to the "rival" community college, and use their theatre. i was like, okay, so you want me to organise this? sure.
then the topic comes up about playing music, and to make a long, strange scenario short, i got kind of roped into singing. there were a list of songs that this little local group "can play," that deal with violence or breaking free to some degree or another. when i saw this one song on it i nearly flipped out--as i have this album, know the song .. except when i sing along, it never fails: toward the end when the music shifts, and the singer's voice falls in a downward arpegio on the word "begun," i start to puddle up, and then the finale lines to the song i'm like bawling and/or laughing. so i mean, good song. but i don't know if i can do that in front of we-don't-know-how-many-yet. the last time i ever did anything musically in front of ANY group of over like, 2, was my last year in westshore symphony, which was like ... almost four and a half years ago. it took me all through high school to get through performance anxiety (most embarassing moment = trembling of nerves so bad that my bow kept shaking on the strings, DURING a solo (my first ever), with a mic over my head and everything.)
the point is that i really, really want to do this. it's a ramshackle event pulled together apparently over a span of four days, but it seems really neat (even if they are being exclusive, which i just might make mention of, when i find a way how to work in that hate extends BEYOND just women). and i love this song. it would be me, an acoustic guitar, a lead acoustic, and a muted drumset (aka non electric). so i wouldn't be up there alone, but ... ehhhhhh. hehehe! i have a week to decide; they'll put someone else in for me if i change my mind.
anyway, here is the song. if you're one who is able to go download music, DO download this song. you have to hear that music shift. i have to know i'm not insane in that when it does that, and his voice soars and then lets go, i start shivering and going all "ooooo *soblaughsobsmile*" like a dork! 
alive -- SR-71
All she's asking is for a little more time,
To walk away from his anger and leave the bruises far behind.
She won't talk about it...she's made up her mind.
But as the front door shuts behind her she whispers "give me a sign."
And feels the power of the engine as she climbs to sixty-five,
and every piston sounds like freedom, every white line says goodbye.
She'll find strength in her anger and the truth in his lies,
When the last scar finally fades she'll have a new life...
Say goodbye to Mr. Right
Lock the door, turn out the light
Pack your bags, leave this trap
Run away, don't look back
See another day with each new sun
Your life has just begun...
She can still feel the touch of his hand
Not just the violence but the warmth of her man
Say goodbye to Mr. Right
Lock the door, turn out the light
Pack your bags, leave this trap
Run away, don't look back
See another day with each new sun
** 'Cause your life has just begun...
It was the night she never felt so alive,
(even though it feels so cold outside).
It was the night she never felt so alive:
And it's the first time I've ever seen her
smile.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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I wish you the best of luck.
Even if this is a back-handed attempt to make a shitty thing look better,
at least they're partially acknowleding the fact that they have problems with
sexism, homophobia, usw. I wish you the best of luck, and I would like to let you know that you have a lot of courage to do what you are.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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thank you! that's provided i *do* do this .. i get queasy just thinking about it. and now, not only the aspect of performing in front of something more than my cats or daughter again (haha!), but it didn't even occur to me that this is a schmooty way to cover up what happened. i just noticed they left homosexuals out of this "stop hate" equasion, which i guess would deduct to the fact they don't know i'm gay/bi/whateveriamthisweek, and just a female that was attacked. :-/
but still, it's an effort, small as it is.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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Hey, that sounds really great, I just hope your stage fright/performance anxiety don't scare you off, coz that would be sad and a bit sucky...
This 'gala thing' they're arranging, even though it's not perhaps for ALL the best reasons if they're going to ignore some hate crimes because they don't fit with their college's image, it's still a good cause, and you can help to make it gooder if you do a little coup and remind people of what the management is deliberately overlooking...
I hope you'll do this, and I wish I could attend to hear you perform. Yayayayayy! 
So finally, take care okies?
Huugs:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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*possibly.* as of today the girls who are wanting to run this shin-dig have no idea where to have it. the high school auditorium-thing can't be secured in time, and MCC's dean said no. our campus doesn't have the room, really. now, they are seeing about our gymnasium. *our* dean says it's a good idea, and a nice cause, but they should have thought of it earlier, or else can wait until next term.
buuuuut, next term i'll be too busy to help with this. as it is i'm chomping at the bit with finals coming next week (150 questions for 20 units of anatomy; 2 exams in med. term. tomorrow night, and then our final in that class is -- wait for it -- EIGHTEEN PAGES; creative writing = prepare a reading of one of the pieces, prose or poetry, that we've done over the term, and read it with "conviction and emotion," erp), and even if they pull this thing off, i don't know if i'll be able to. or want to, ehehehe.
if i did/do, it'd be neat if you could be there though, hehe! :-*
h.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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overcome neo-fear for a good cause? 
You're going to SING??? Wow... 
