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but i really need one. because then maybe i'd feel less like a freak if i were able to be fit into a(n unfortunate) label like everything else can. i need to have things in neat packages; perfect rows and meticulously organised ... and maybe that's why i can't let this go, and actually spent an hour or so (atop the countless sleepless nights already) thinking this over.
so.
i am a trans-hemisexual.
trans = the transgender issues i have, in that i wish i was born a boy, think i should have been, and have to partly be if the only thing i really like or can uhm, enjoy are boy/boy.
hemisexual = the fact that i am not straight, but i am not gay ... but the term "bi" bothers me and always has, because it's become such a trendy clusterfuck over the last, like, decade. more importantly, it's too narrow.
and hemi means half; and i have a girlfriend again (locally, yay go me!), however dance sexually mostly with boys and climb them like trees ... so long as they are NOT straight (this way, i am safe). "bi" is too plain a term for that. "bi" cannot cover that.
so hi. my name is heathyr. i'm a soon-to-be 26-year-old trans-hemisexual, and i know labels are wrong and only perpetuate The Problems we all face, but i need to fit into one. i can't be out here all by myself, anymore, and yet will be content if no one ever had a label quite like mine.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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Well...
Just trying to make sense of things, even when they do not make any sense.
It's human nature, to try to describe ourselves, but sometimes, the common-place labels do not EVEN come close to reality.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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no they don't really, in fact not at all. unfortunately they're there and exist, and i sillily (sillily?! is that a word?!) think that i need to have one too.
sillier yet is that i've since quieted inside, and feel SOME kind of like, almost-calm since i defined myself so clinically.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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