|
|
|
|
Well...
It's like that...
Does anybody really give a fuck about me? I mean, I'm obviously not worth ringing with the exception of a very few people, who have their own problems now. What is wrong with me!!! Am I so disgusting that I poison people's souls or something? Does my voice, does my touch turn flesh gangrened?
Am I so horrid that the simple act of just ringing me for no reason, like most mates do, repulse them???
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
people give a fuck, christopher, it's not you. it seems to be just something in the air, because the same thing has happened to me, to the point i've just written off a handful of friends i thought i'd have forever. not a wise thing to do, but i'm not going back on it, because they don't deserve to be jerked back and forth that way.
so don't do that--if you do anything at all, DON'T do that. just know that it's not you ... people get lost in their own problems: i have, maybe you have, we all have. .. it's apparently not intentional, although i must say sometimes it does feel that way...
if i was rich enough to afford more LD calling, i'd ring you just because. 
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's not often people call me either, and apart from my adoptive parents, there's only about three people who ever DO call me, and one of those don't call very often, like maybe a few times a year tops.
This past christmas, I met a person who used to be my friend back in the 90s, he moved away to a different city without even telling me in advance when he actually did it, or even that he was planning to move in the first place. Well, it was still nice meeting him despite the fact I was pissed at him still (yeah, some grudges I carry forever). We talked a lot, and I told him to call me, because he lives in my city again now since about two years, so I could invite him for tea (and home-made gingerbread men that I saved for him, though he doesn't know this. Is meant to be a surprise). He hasn't called yet and it's been like three weeks since we met now. Thought maybe he'd give me a ring 'round new-year or something, but nothing. He even told his parents he thought it was nice meeting me (and they told my adoptive mother and she told me), so why the fuck doesn't he call me? What's wrong with him? Grr!
So, if it's any comfort at all to you, know at least you're not alone with this problem.
Though know, it's not YOUR fault other people can't behave decently. It never is... I know it's easy to blame yourself, but we've talked, and I know you're a nice guy. Nice guys aren't always appreciated the way they should, and that is those other people's loss.
So if you wanna talk, I'll be there. Okies? *I* care.
Be good now.
Hugs:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
It would seem that some of us are destined to have to work at maintaining friendships while other people just seem to attract friends like flies. Over my lifetime, I have had many friends, however, if I waited for them to call me or come over to my place, I'd never have had a single friend. I don't know what it is, but people just don't seem to think of me unless I'm right in front of them. They don't seem repulsed or uninterested, they seem to like me, but no one has ever really put any effort into being my friend. I see others who always have people hanging around them. Others who get tons of phone calls and invitations. I'm not one of them and never have been. The best friends I've ever had rarely ever called me. I always had to call them if I wanted to do something.
Even in my cooking class where I seem to get along with everyone, I'm never invited to after school activities. A couple times a week some of the other students will invite each other to stop for a drink on the way home. But no one has ever asked me along. The only times I've been included is if I initiate it. My invitations are usually accepted so I'm sure the other students aren't repulsed by me, but even though they know I'm interested, no one ever asks.
I guess the point is that there are more people like you than you think. That isn't going to make it any easier for you, but know that you aren't alone. You're not the only one who has to struggle and work at maintaining friendships.
{{HUGS}}
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
e, I know exactly how you feel and exactly what you mean.
I could never quite put words to these feelings, but it is real enough to hurt like hell when it happens.
Christopher, last week you posted a pic of yourself. What I saw was a handsome sweet boy. A sweet boy that cares about people.... A sweet boy that needs a hug.....
Oddly enough, in the story that I am presently writing I am in the process of dealng with this issue here is a one paragraph exerpt......
What Braden said made me wonder about my friends back home in Omaha. When I thought about it, I didn’t really have any, well, what you would call close friends. Sure there were a few guys I hung with like when we went to the movies or to the mall, but when I thought about it, I was the one to call them. They never called me.
You are not alone Christopher.
Huggs tightly
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
|
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
I think that paragraph from your story says it pretty well. I always had friends, but I never had a best friend. There was always someone who I could point to and say "he's my best friend" but that person would never have pointed to me and said the same thing. They didn't dislike me, but I was never the first or second guy on the list of guys they wanted to hang out with.
{{HUGS}}
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Just give me a chance to prove it! 
Biiiiiig {{{hugs!}}}
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
|
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
Ooohhh yeah! I'd sure love to see you "hang out." ;-D ;-D ;-D Of course, until I get out of school, you'd have to come over here to "hang out." But maybe after I'm through, I can get to hang out at your place. ::-) ::-) ::-)
{{{BIG HUGS}}}
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
take your own advice, please.
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No Message Body
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't get very many calls, so don't feel like you're the only one going through this. It's definitely not you. I think people may just be getting over their heads with stuff, or what not, and forget to work on friendship with you. Try talking with your friends about this (don't let it get too carried away) and they should understand. Don't feel that you're not worthy of being talked to, it's not your problem, it's their problem for not keeping in touch with someone that they're supposed to be friends with. Well That's all I'll say.
Al
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
As long as you know that yuou have to make the running at all times then it is "ok". Though it hurts.
I was always the one who phoned my friends. Never the one called. Always the one to organise things,m nevr included in their organised things except as an afterthought.
You are in good company, my friend. Many good people are like us.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
I care, and I know what you're talking about. 
Hey e... I'd hang out with you any day of the week. 
Re: I pick up the phone, nobody's home. 
