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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > I was watching a documentary
icon9.gif I was watching a documentary  [message #19492] Mon, 19 January 2004 22:17 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



It was to do, as things here so often are, with WW2. Only it was not jingoistic. The time for that passed a long tme ago. It was about young RAF fighter pilots, 18, 19, 20 years old. the same age as my son, older than some of you.

It talked about girlfriends, and losing comrades. And it showed loss on each side of that waste of life.

I was sitting there, tears in my face, wondering why, why, why no-one ever thinks of the queer pilot, the one who loved his comrade and whose comrade never returned. Why does everyne have to be heterosexual? Why would not 10% of the 600 RAF fighter pilots killed have been homosexual? Why would they not have loved? And why can we not remember that too?

I feel angry, somehow. And grief stricken though I was not alive then. There's a lot more I can't either put into words or face putting into words.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I was watching a documentary  [message #19493 is a reply to message #19492] Mon, 19 January 2004 22:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



For the same reason that no one ever thinks of the queer hollicost victoms.

We were much easier to avoid than be dealt with.

When it comes to the crux of the matter do we hear of queer victoms of the war in Iraq?

It just seems to go with the territory.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
I am not thinking of the victims, sad though that is  [message #19494 is a reply to message #19493] Mon, 19 January 2004 22:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I am thinking of the survivors.

In conflicts we always think of victims. We think of the wounded, the dead, the dying. We think of the holocaust and the facts that blacks, cripples, mentally ill people, gypsies, jews, non aryans of all types, slave workers who had outlived their usefulness, homosexuals, and so many more. And we grieve for those.

And yet I found myself identifying with the living. With the homosexual man who loved another man who was killed. And I grieved for "my" loss.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Not that I was very clear about it  [message #19495 is a reply to message #19494] Mon, 19 January 2004 22:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I think it affected me. I have ther words I want, but they do not come out right.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I am not thinking of the victims, sad though that is  [message #19496 is a reply to message #19494] Mon, 19 January 2004 22:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Well then, for those that are left behind...

There are the tears, the memories, the anger at being left to ones own defences.

Then, with time, a numbness.

Eventually, it becomes time to move on.

This evaluation is based on experience.

It's not easy, nor is it pretty.

It just is..... because there is no alternative.....



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
icon13.gif People on TV and in the movies are always straight.  [message #19497 is a reply to message #19492] Mon, 19 January 2004 23:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
lenny is currently offline  lenny

On fire!
Location: Far Away
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 1755




Unless it's a comedy, of course, and then the gay is generally relegated to the role of comic relief.

Heroes in movies always get the girl. They never get the boy next door. Sad



"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
Clifford  [message #19498 is a reply to message #19497] Tue, 20 January 2004 00:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
david in hong kong is currently offline  david in hong kong

On fire!
Location: American working in Thail...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 1101




In the early days of coming out to myself, Clifford was very important to me. He taught me that fully honouring and remembering fallen comrades keeps the survivors sane and able to love again.

This was back in the 70's, and Clifford was a Senior Citizen already. He was a Veteran of WW II, having fought as an Infantryman in Europe ("Band of Brothers" stuff).

He had a lover from before the war, and they signed up together and served together. I don't know where, but the partner was killed. Clifford told not many tales about that, or about his life. It was just part of him.

One thing I do know was that they were not "out" at all. Couldn't be, really. And he wasn't able to go to the funeral, etc. because of requirements of duty. And wasn't able to be buried with him because of the partner's homophobic family.

Clifford under-took my gay education. Gave me books to read, took me to my first gay bar, introduced me to some other gay people in the town we lived in.

He was short, feisty, colourful, memorable, lovable. He was my old gay uncle, he said. When they finally had to move him to the nursing home, he was notorious for pinching the hunky orderlies.


I'll always love him, and have a special place for him in my heart.



"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
Re: Clifford  [message #19499 is a reply to message #19498] Tue, 20 January 2004 00:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



When I was sent away to boarding school I made a friend. If he was gay he never directly told me, but he definately knew that I was. He treated me like none other, either before or since.

We could talk about anything.... Be it problems or yearnings.

He was always there for me. I sat with him until the end.

I know how you feel David....



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: I was watching a documentary  [message #19500 is a reply to message #19492] Tue, 20 January 2004 02:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



I know it's not what Timmy is talking about, but I do want to recommend a novel about gays during WW2, in the period after Dunkerque. It is beautifully written, very sensitive, very moving. I can heartily recommend "The Charioteer" by Mary Renault. The three men involved in an impossible triangle are depicted against a convincing background of gay life in war-torn England around 1940. Read it: you will enjoy it, I am sure.
icon14.gif Amazing Book!!  [message #19504 is a reply to message #19500] Tue, 20 January 2004 04:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
david in hong kong is currently offline  david in hong kong

On fire!
Location: American working in Thail...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 1101




It was one of the ones that Clifford gave me to read, and which I still have (since I got some of his library when he passed away).

If it's out of print, I'm sure Amazon or one of the other many finders of old books will have one to send you!

And anything else she wrote is also worthwhile...all of the Greek novels are yummy.



"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
Re: Amazing Book!!  [message #19507 is a reply to message #19504] Tue, 20 January 2004 04:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



David and everybody,

I found this by searching http://www.amazon.com for "Mary Renault" in "Books::

The Charioteer by Mary Renault (Author)

Look inside another edition of this book
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You Save: $2.80 (20%)
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Only 2 left in stock--order soon (more on the way).


20 used & new from $6.99

Edition: Paperback
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Audio Cassette $85.00 $85.00 Order it used!
Re: I was watching a documentary  [message #19509 is a reply to message #19500] Tue, 20 January 2004 07:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



Mary Renault was the one author that was easy to get into my closeted home. "It's history" was the answer when they asked what I was reading.

Mary created the first "slash" fiction, really. I preferred her deep history, like "the Persian Boy".

She was a pupil of Tolkien, and much influenced by his ability to create a hidden world. I grew up in a hidden world of my own. So many of us did.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I was watching a documentary  [message #19511 is a reply to message #19492] Tue, 20 January 2004 07:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kevin is currently offline  kevin

On fire!
Location: Somewhere
Registered: September 2002
Messages: 1108




It is good to think upon history.

For if we do not learn from it we are doomed to repeat it.

Lets not let that happen again.

Tell the stories that need to be told.

Share them with the world.

Kevin



"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
icon14.gif The Persian Boy!!!!  [message #19515 is a reply to message #19511] Tue, 20 January 2004 15:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
david in hong kong is currently offline  david in hong kong

On fire!
Location: American working in Thail...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 1101




I think it was her best book, about Alexander the Great and his partners.

Sad and violent book in some ways, yet amazing and vivid and hopeful about...(dare I say?) love.

If you haven't read it, find a copy IMMEDIATELY and don't do anything else before reading it.

I don't often recommend anything that highly.Surprised Cool



"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
icon6.gif Clifford!  [message #19516 is a reply to message #19498] Tue, 20 January 2004 16:34 Go to previous message
lenny is currently offline  lenny

On fire!
Location: Far Away
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 1755




What an amazing guy, David! Thanks for telling me about him, he sounds like such a character, and a really sweet man too.

Hehe, I remember when I was hospitalized with the bacterial nervous system infection I got from that tick that bit me that I never noticed, I was weelchairing myself around, hoping for a hunky male nurse to come along and take care of me! Smile Too bad it never happened, hehe.

I've never talked to him, but say hi to Man for me anyway. Smile


Hugs!
-L



"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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