|
|
|
|
I have this feeling like the more I love someone the more I am pushing them away from.. It use to be the exact opposite though, I was awfully7 selish and showed no emotion at all.. so what I am asking is there a happy medium?? Or should I conyinue to love the only way I kno how to, which is with all of my heart and soul?  ??
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
is the emotion returned? The love?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sometimes but at the same time it also feels like not really.... I mean this is a new relationship, but lately do to things out our control it feels as if we are both unsure you know...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
then the only advice I have is to talk about it. To explain, gently, your feelings. If they cannot be returned in the same depth, well that is better to know now, than to know later.
When you explain, then you also need to listen. Properly.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
love is terrifying, you know. Look at your own feelings. Are you carefree or scared?
Love tears you apart EVEN if returned.
Your world changes.
So talking and really listening, these are the fundamentals of finding out if it is a relationship, or if it is a brief and passionate fire.
Don't "sell" when you talk. Just listen and speak and HEAR what is said
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love requires hard work. And compromise. timmy is right. The key to this is communication. Without knowledge of where your possible partner is coming from will lead to misunderstanding and resentment. But to communicate well you have to open yourself to areas that you may or may not wish to touch at this point. Make up your own mind what you wish out of this relationship, then pursue a course to possibly achieve your goal.
Communication is a two way street, and even if you open yourself, your friend may not wish to do the same.
Unfortunately there is no manual, or even previous experience, that will match your particular situation. So you have to be flexible, be honest, be careful, be yourself.
Hugs, Charlie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I really appriciate you taking the time to read and respond... I am at a point in my life after sooo many faild attemps at happiness that I do try to listen more than I would have in earlier days of my life.. What is really troubling to me is right now my "other half" is blocking me out and not allowing me to help with his problem that he is dealing with.. So what I am wondering now am I being selfish for not understanding his needs??? I am wanting this to be an obsticle together were as he is feeling the wieght of the world all alone, well not totlally alone but with out me which has left me with this feeling of helplessness... It has now been 2 days since we have even talked and I am truely worried!!! Not about my own feelings but about his and his health for the last time we talked he cold not do to being sick... I am trying to stay positive but right now it is very hard to do with out knowing how he is... Thanx for caring and here is a hugg back at you...:'-(
never stop searching the truth is out there....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
:'-( Oce again I must thank you for giving mr the time to read and respond!!! I am not sure were this thing is going to be honest. It has now been 2 days since last me and him have talked and to be honest I am really worried that it might be over... All I wanted was to love him, to be a pillar of support for right now in his time of need... But it seems now all he want is for me to be asfar out of his mind and heart as possible... I am hoping that we will resolve this and continue were we left off before all of the events of the week prior... Nw all I can do is wait for him to come on line or for him to call, lord knows I am hoping one of the two will happen sooner than later!!!! Thanx...
Never stop searching the truth is out there..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
The thing about real, true love is that it is unconditional.
It will be horrid, yes, but not the end of the world, if he rejects you. All you need to do is to tell him that you are going to be there for him whatever the outcome of his loving you or not, and that you can be anything he needs, ranging from distant and safe friend all the way to lover.
Let him know that HIS needs come first with you, and learn to make that so of it is not yet true. Show him that, while oyu find him desirable, that desire can be put second to love.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
I need some advice... 
