|
|
|
|
A great man once said," It is hard to fight this battle everyday." When I heard that very fraze there was only one thing to do, start living my life!
I am 27 years old soon to be 28 and still I am waiting for my calling in life.
with that said let me take you back to the begining of my life with the family I know as the Chaney's.
Picture it 1976 a half black and white child is born. A beautiful baby boy with a nmae never to be known. See I was addopted by two of the most wonderful people on this hell we call earht..
Now as I figure it, in those days if my white biological mother didnt want me then why would this white couple want me?? Call me crazy but one of my very first true memories was of this wonderful woman holding me as we were riding in an elevator. At the same time there was a tall smiling man next to her, enter my mom and dad Paul and Phillas saints sen tfrom the arms of heaven to save me.
I cant quite understand why they would take a child that had an infected eye and finger at the time but this would bacome quite obvious to m as I started my journy into a new family. A family made up of another biracial daughter, one biological child of there own and many other children in there care, fornot only did they want me but the other children that had been disguarded by society and families that were not able to offer the love that a child needs to survive in this world.
So off they took me to a new world. From the big city to a small town, a town that would later in life proove to be a formitable enemy to my self and family alike.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Your experience is not unique. The challenge with this topic is that it can cause offence when matters are stated plainly. Let's try not to give or take offence.
I suspect that availability for adoption of multi-racial babies and children has a great deal to do with the odd taboos around multi-racial dating. If the union was taboo then the child is a reminder of the taboos. It takes something as simple as love to overcome this.
As an anthropological generalisation people are attracted "like unto like". He with a big nose is attracted to she with a big nose, and big nosed kids are the result. Physical "types" tended to be tribal originally, and then became "national" or "racial". So it is the norm for type to form attractions to type.
Equally, tribes tended to be aggressive to other tribes. Inter-tribal partnerships were discouraged. "They are not people like us". Thsi became a taboo. It was a stupid taboo because it meant that each tribe's gene pool became very shallow, but it was a taboo nonethless.
After a while people travelled. Different skin tones, then skin colours were either fascinating or horrifying. Religions of all types were hostile to people "not like us", and thus it was "even more taboo" to have a partnership with a doifferent race. Of course one could fuck them, but not love them.
It is relatively recent that mixed race partnerships have become accetpabel and accepted. You still hear "Why couldn't she find a nice Chinese boy?" (or jewish, black, or, or, or.....). And the children also still face more persecution that a "pure bred" child. Not many years ago my son's despiccable headmaster told a mixed race couple (Caucasian/Chinese) that "the school really wasn't a place for their son. Mixed race children get bullied, you know!"
Part of the issue may be the self ghettoification of so many races when they move to a new nation. Integration is the key to acceptance, and so many fail to integrate. In the UK we have Muslim areas, Hindu areas, Jewish areas etc etc etc.
All this provides good scope for discussion. I am not "right". I am simply setting out some things to talk about.
By the way, I like the sound of your adoptive parents. 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It saddens me that race is ever an issue. I never understood that myself.
White, brown, black yellow, red or green .... I just take people as individuals. Some are good, others, less so.
I hope people take me that way, cause I'm just me.
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I dont; think we're speaking abouyt raciual acceptance or tolerance of differences (but we may be). I think we are speaking of the underlying social and possibly instinctive finding of like forms attractive.
A racial type is simply a different look. There is often an underlying subtly different skillset (Australian Aboriginal intelligence may be measured in spacial awareness, European may be measured in Hans Eysenck like tests and so forth), but that is, I think, not what is presented here.
Scooby asked, among other things, why mixed race dating was frowned upon. In general a bias has an underlying reason, however odd.
I, for example, am wary of Nigerians because I had my nose broken by a Nigerian when I was 8. This does not mean that Nigerians are a bad people, it just means I had my nose broken at a time when things were forming in my mind.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
The answer is simple. About as simple as why a gay person is frowned upon.
People fear what they are not. They fear those not doing what they are doing. They are afraid someone might have a tiny bit more than they do. They are petrified at the notion of people just being happy together for happyness sake. They cringe at the notion of being intimate with anyone not like them.
Mostly they fear that someone might discover that their fears are unfounded.
Personally, I have dated about every type of peoples the great world we live upon has to offer. It is a various and mixed buffet and I savoured every dish it had to offer.
A child once asked a black man, "Why did God make you so dark?"
To this the black man answered, "Because God loves the endless possibilities of diversity."
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy wrote:
> I dont; think we're speaking abouyt raciual acceptance or tolerance of differences (but we may be). I think we are speaking of the underlying social and possibly instinctive finding of like forms attractive.
>
> A racial type is simply a different look. There is often an underlying subtly different skillset (Australian Aboriginal intelligence may be measured in spacial awareness, European may be measured in Hans Eysenck like tests and so forth), but that is, I think, not what is presented here.
>
> Scooby asked, among other things, why mixed race dating was frowned upon. In general a bias has an underlying reason, however odd.
You speak of bias. A very thin line to prejudice don't you think? And does not the societies we grow up in contribute to that prejudice?
I myself find when I look deep within myself a reverse prejudice in thinking that many so called "mixed-race" people to be more attractive to me and ultimately better looking that I find myself. Not to say I don't have prejudices of my own (though I work on them everyday), if anyone says they have none they are lying to themselves.
So really, we can call it bias, or anything else for that matter. But I just don't get it. It has never been an issue for me what race someone is. Now gender is a different story. I like guys pretty much exclusively. Not to say I hate women, I just don't want sex with them.
I just don't have racial issues with anyone.
Does that view seem strange to you folks?
I don't hear many people that think like me when it comes to race, so I may be alone on this one. But hey, that's just who I am.
Hugs to all,
Kevin :-*
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
By using them we give them more power, unwittingly maybe.
Prejudice is "Judging before" It is, really, different from bias, though the two are close. But that is a semantic dscussion. I would prefer, if we can, to look at the question scooby posed.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Bias and prejudice are two very different things. Bias is a leaning to one choice over another based on ones personal tastes. Prejudice however is something more deeply imbedded, more social in significance.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
and I just don't see a question. His statement was a bit of personal history.... Am I missing something here?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As to the original post, I can say it warmed my heart. Too often we hear of the ills of the world. That to me was a story of hope that we can and are better than we appear on the evening news.
Scooby's parents (adoptive or otherwise) to me sound like people we should hold up as models of just a few of the things good about people in this world.
So in that spirit, I say to all of you reading this to look at your own views about race. Be honest with yourself about how you feel. Then deal with the world on those terms.
Sure, what I am asking isn't easy. But if you look inside yourself, you will figure out the right thing to do.
I truely believe that if we could all step out of our skin for just a minute we would see how much alike we really are. We are creatures that are insecure, fearful, lonely, aloof, lazy, driven, loving, helpful (I really could go on and on).... just catch us at the right time of day or right day of the week.
My point is that we have capacity. Lets try and use it.
Be excellent to each other,
And,
Party on dudes!
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
"One more thing why is it that homosexuality is so accepted and inter acila dating is soo very taboo on american television???" was in the Janet's Boob" thread.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have to admit I truely didnt exspect all f the feed back from this, but thank you very much!!! Yhis ia mearly an account of my true life and I continue log and share more of it you will see that for me my parents were a very big part of my what I would like to consider a good upbringing.. Not only did I experience some racism in my life, but they did also for adopting two biracial children... Not only from society but also from there own family members.. I have a set ta rainbow colord gasses on that I veiw the world we live in through everyday, and even I fall victom to my own rasist thoughts and stereotyping. I think that what it really all crumbles down to is that even today not ever knowimg my biological mother or father I still to this day strugle more with abbandenment issues then anyhting... I am so afraid of being alone it is cripling some times. sorry went off on a totally different chptr,(LOL) but I guess what I am saying is that we all have issues with race.. What I am hopingfrom this hole story is that people can see that no matter the color of skin a loving home was the reason I Have grown in to such a fine, functioning9when sober) member of todays messed up world... I just hope it will make people love one onother more...
I am done rambling..
Never stop searching the truth is out there...;-D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
I didn't read that...... I don't really care bout ugly gurlz boobies.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One simple truth, spoken from the heart should help clear up several things all at once. I've read most of the posts attached to Scooby's original statement and story of his life here, and I can say that all of you have an inkling of the proper path. This, however, is A Place of Safety, a lighthouse in the darkness. Perhaps this simple truth will help illuminate some of the issues raised here, perhaps it will simply find the core of the problems instead of just treating their resultant social issues, maybe it will even help us all figure a way around our own little prejudices and insecurities and just live and let live.
Enough preamble, the truth so cometh: Know them not by the color of their skin, the set of their eyes or the tone in their voice; Know them by their actions. Know them by their love.
See, simple, true and cuts right through the crap. I don't look to a person's appearance, upbringing and way of life to deterime if they are people I want to know. I look at what they do, at how they act, at how they treat each other. And in that, I know if a given person is good, kind, moral, wise, just or loving. A wise man in a movie once said, "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter." And while the "crude matter" in question is important, it is only a fraction of the things that make us who we are.
Scooby, if you want to know why your adoptive parents took you in, made you one of their own and loved you so, know them by their actions. Know them by their love. Anything else is just seasoning to the sauce. Their love for you is the meat and milk of it all.
And know me by my actions as well. To you Scooby, and to all of you. Learn to look beyond the surface at what is really going on.
Keep the light burning bright, my brothers. Cya on the other side.
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Re: This may be a good place to talk about mutliple race 
But Timmy .... 
