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And into the dream a scream. Just within reach the goal we seek leaps....
Just as the task is at hand and the moment arrives it all floats away like pidgeons to the skies and we wait, we hope, we breathe and cry....
But there is still that steel in your heart. There is still hope. There is that warrior's strength egging you on to reach for the final goal.
There is still time. But use it wisely. The race is not won by frantic pace, but by keeping your course true. By staying you, by seeing it through. The pain is worth the gain, the strain. And in the end you'll be fine and strong and free.
For there is still steel in your heart. There is still hope in your eyes. The dream's still alive in your fierce determined pride. And I know....oh yes I know, that you will be strong.
And I know, yes I know that it wont be long, before you are back to what you always were. My Gentle friend, the race is not at an end, you still have so far left to go. May the wind be at your back and the road firm under your heels.
For you have the steel, the undetered will, the inner light to see through darkened fog. You are still my honest hope that the truth in life will show, that you will be happy and strong again.
You still have your steel.
(For the real Sammy the Kat, who will probably read this and be a little angry with me, but will still curl up in my lap for a hug when he needs them. I'm still here for you, Little Brother. You will beat this thing, I know it!)
Peace, my brothers, cya on the other side,
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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I don't know the history of these words but some of it talked to me too. Thank you.
smith
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The history, fellow wordsmith, is rather straightforward and perhaps even less plesant than it might at first seem. And it is a reason why I haven't written much lately. Only one reason, but as you will see, a very compelling one.
This is the story of a remarkable young man I know, and I had to ask his permission before I tell you all this, so here goes. If you've read the story The Lost Boys (mine, not the awesome vampire movie of the same name) you'll no doubt have come into familiarity with a little ball of energy, enthusiasm and life known as Sammy the Kat. Like most of the characters in that story, Sammy is based on a real person.
I'm a teacher by profession, although working at another job right now because it actually pays more to stock shelves at Wal-Mart than to educate the young. While I was living in Massachusetts, an old friend of the family asked me if I would tutor his at that time 11 year old son. I was told the boy was exceptionally talented, but that normal schooling wasn't possible for a while. Enter Samuel Frost.
I tutored him for a while and became quite friendly with him. He still calls me his big brother to this day. He's perhaps one of the most amazing and selfless people I've ever met, has an upbeat personality that wags the tail off any dog, and shares his energy and beyond-his-years wisdom with just about anyone that crosses his path.
And like most of us here, he's attracted to his own kind instead of the opposite sex. He told be quite frankly, with all the grace and wisdom of someone aged 11 years. But he has far more wisdom and grace than anyone his age ought to, and for a very sad reason. You see, at the age of 9, Sammy was told he'd never live to see 15, much less make it past 13.
Very sobering news for a young boy to take. You see, he has a very rare form of bone marrow cancer. Not the same as lukemia, for those who know of such things. And I met him just after they had told him that Chemo/Rad therapy wasn't working anymore. Very sad, so sorry, next please.
So, this boy I am proud to call my little brother, in every possible meaning of that phrase, instead of moping and turning angry or resentful or even suicidal, he finds out, on his own, about an experimental treatment/cure for his disease and volunteers himself as a guinea pig for it. Not just so that he can beat the cancer and live, but so others wont have to go through Chemo. And if you've ever seen what Chemo therapy does to adults, just imagine being a small person.
Sammy is 14 now. He was just about cured when the arrival of growth spurt hormone levels kick started his cancer again. So for the time being, he's having additional injections that retard puberty and he's back to the experimental therapy. They are so very close to a cure. Sammy's a fighter, and I'm sure he's going to make it. He just has to hold on a little longer.
Needless to say, he was hit hard with the realization that his fight wasn't over yet. He was so close to being normal again. It breaks my heart at times to realize that the doctors may have been right, that he might not reach 15. But as we used to say, kidding around, "Sammy Ruff-Tuff!" His fight is still on, and he intends to win.
As for a minor footnote, his favorite animal is the tiger. Always has been. He's got posters on his bedroom walls and stuffed tigers all over his room. I even have a little tiger plush I keep near my computer that he gave me. He embodies a lot of tiger traits for me. Cunning, resilient, crafty, strong, untamed and most importantly, a survivor.
So now, again, I am his teacher and friend, tutoring him while he has treatments here in Florida, both of us far from our native New England soil. But he makes the most of it. And he's still the same selfless, strong willed and dynamic young man I met when he was at death's door three years ago. Sammy turns 15 at the end of October. And I'm going to throw him one hell of a party when he does.
You see, beating cancer isn't so much about beating the odds. That's science's job, and doctors do it as best they can. No, to beat cancer, the patient has to be ready to stare it down and reclaim his life. To take back from his own body the time he was given. To live each day like there's a thousand more ahead and not dread each night.
That's Sammy the Kat in reality, smith. That's the story behind that poem. And God willing, Sammy's Steel will be enough to save not only himself, but many many others. I'm sure he'll appreciate your prayers and pass them on himself. For those that know me and my penchant for combining music with other things in life, to me Sammy is the little boy in "Counting Blue Cars," by Dishwalla and the title character of the Rush song "Analog Kid." I've been given permission to give out his Yahoo screen name, but only to those I trust. Ask me, I might give it to you. There are few people in this world like my Little Brother. To darned few.
Peace my Brothers, cya on the other side.
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Kind of speechless after that... The situation is kind of double-edged... it is a sad story, but a story of hope too. My hopes, prayers, wishes and love are with Sammy and with you too D as you try to help support him through the rough times. I'm sure you're a great big brother to him.... Just my two cents worth, I guess.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Something made me bring this poem forward
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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That something would be me.
For a quick update, Sammy is now 15, nearing 16, and as strong as ever. There have been setbacks, and he is still struggling, but I have every confidence that he will win his fight. My little warrior kat is every bit as fiesty as ever, as those who know him well can tell you. His cancer has moved a little, spreading out some, and has become more leukemiatic (his leukemia is Accute Lymphatic Leukemia, for those that know) and he i fighting as hard as he can.
I should say this as well. For those of you that have had the pleasure of meeting Tyger, you know that he is bouncy, affectionate and generally has a genuine love of people. It will embarrass him endlessly for me to say it, but he's one of those rare souls that comes along who will fight as hard as he can to make people see simple truths and to foster peace. He's a natural leader, compassionate, thoughtful and wise beyond counting. He kids that he's a Jedi, but I can almost see it. He has that nobility, despite his natural teenage "enthusiasms" for those things we all want so much. A lot of what I write is for him these days. A lot of what I do is for him. He's my "little brother," and I wouldn't change anything about him save take away the horrible thing eating him from the inside out.
So, because of a few recent medical setbacks, I asked Timmy to find this poem that I wrote for him. Because every word of it is still true. And I think Tyger needs these words again.
Don't lose your Steel, lil kat. Stay strong, stay ruff-tuff always. The battle isn't over, Sammy. I, and so many others, love you so much. Keep fighting, little warrior.
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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leon
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Getting started |
Registered: March 2005
Messages: 3
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Hi D
You and Sammy are in my prayers. I pray that this new treatment will answer all our prayers. May God Bless and keep you both.
Lots of HUGGS and Love
Yours Truly
Leon
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Sammy, You know that Jedi Warriors use the mind for all things. Think it and it is. If you believe the new meds are working, they are. Think positive my friend and it will be. My prayers are with you every step of the way. Get better soon and let us hear from you when you are.
Your Brother Jedi
Thom
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TygerBoiSammy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 57
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Greetings Fellow Jedi!
Ya, i'm big on mind power. I think that prayer is just a way that ppl distill their innate mental strength and transmit it. For those that don't believe in prayer, their thoughts alone are their strength and how they distill and transmit their innermost soul. However they do it, it's the same. Touching a strength so deep and so powerful in all of us that so very few even seek or know that they have. It's a healing strength. And it's something i fully believe that we pass on to each other, like thru touch and thru thought and thru emotion. My "jedi master" has always said that ppl are thier own best doctors. I'm tryin my best to be my own. But it's good to know that there are others out there sendin me their healing as well.
HUGS!!
May the FORCE be with u, Thom
Tyger
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TygerBoiSammy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 57
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HUGS!! Thank u so much Leon. I pray for all of us. And I fight for all of us too. Keep strong, buddy.
love u all,
Tyger
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