|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
At least I felt I did. "had to". Because I was gay and had to hide. Was it just me? And did hiding make the differnece, or do our younger "out" members have a different view?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oodly enough, I find myself both agreeing and disagreeing with your point, Timmy. I think that perhaps we gain uncommon wisdom once we realize who and what we really are, and in a small way, despite hiding, that gives us a slightly younger outlook on many things. Sounds weird, but hey, look at my stories, weird is my stock in trade.
Perhaps the careful camoflauge gives the appearance of maturing. Perhaps the act of realization awakens some higher level of self awareness that we equate with maturity, or at least that "grown up" feeling of taking more responsibility for one's own actions and realizing consequences.
My friends still refer to me as the tallest 12 year old they know. They also constantly ask me for advice or my opinion about things as if I were an elder statesman or learn'd sage. It's odd, but I can always remember being or at least acting like the youngest member of any peer group. Even when such groups eventually started looking to me as a leader. Perhaps we do retain that youthful aspect despite mentally maturing faster. It's a fair trade off, I guess. Looking at me, there's little doubt that I'm not 12. But I don't seem like a browbeaten, downtrodden or world-weary thirtysomething either. If the best part of life is in balancing extremes, I'm glad it's such an extreme that I get the priveledge to walk the center line for.
The one case I can report on directly outside of my own skull space seems to indicate that knowing early leads to a strange yet refreshing dichotomy (sp?). He knew rather young and went into his mask pretty quickly, but at the same time, he retains his own true self, is playful, energetic, outgoing.....all the things that have always been associated with a well adjusted kid throughout history. He's also more verbal, aware of his actions, thoughtful and emotive than other kids his age, traits more associated with someone approaching middle age.
Hey, but that's just me and someone I know. Other cases may vary. And I'd really like to know if this is just a pair of isolated cases. NEXT!
cya on the other side,
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
saben
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
|
|
|
I don't know if I can be considered to have been young at the age I came out, especially given how much that age is dropping nowadays (I have online friends that have been out since 14 and sometimes younger), but I was 16 when I first realised I was gay and within a year of my first self-evaluation I was fully out the majority of my friends and family.
So, what do I think? I think D'Art has a point, definitely. In some ways you grow a lot from the self-questioning and self-evalutation that is almost just a part of realising you are gay and the majority of gay guys I meet are more mature than their straight counterparts. Of course I have mature straight friends too, but usually they too, have gone through a self-questioning period if not about sexual because of other things, like religion, family problems or whatever else. It isn't the fact that you are gay that causes you to mature, it is all the emotions and pressures that being gay puts on you.
As for the other side, well in some ways I'm less mature than a lot of other 19 year olds. I have less experience in love, relationships and sex than my straight counterparts. I'd also say I behave like a kid more often and relate to kids more than a lot of straight friends my age. I think is is in part because I grew up too soon, there is a stage of maturity I kind of overpassed and never got a real chance to experience, at the moment I'm just trying to go back and catch up on that. I don't know, personally I oscillate a lot, I can be a lot more or less mature than other people my age depending on the situation and occasionally innapropriately. I think it would be a case-by-case thing, but I wonder if there will be trend between those of us here, feeling our maturity levels are kind of bipolar or something.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Re: Gay kids mature in a rush 
