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has anyone here heard of the band maroon 5? namely, adam levine, the lead singer? and if so, have you seen the video for "this love" ?
that is SO the body type i want, i swear. that is already how i tend to dress on non-job-skulking (er, "hunting" i should say!) and non-extern days, but i am still too curvy.
i am so tempted right now to run in the bathroom, lift my bangs up with my fingers, and chop them off so it's spikey-dork-crazy in the front. then i would probably pass for true (except saben says there is something about my eyes that disallows that, hmmmm... ponder!).
i am having a great day today. i have lost 2.6 pounds this week--the RIGHT way, with good exercise (and even some days i slacked off for being sick), and eating properly ... no less than 500 calories, no more than 1200 ... a decent range, and all of it healthy things; veggies and fruits and proteins. i realised this morning, it hit me like bricks in the stomach, i don't need this disorder. and when i think i do i have to remember today, this week; that i did this, this time, all on my own. me, not this disorder.
i really think i'm getting past it, for real this time. i didn't think i'd be able to without a therapist or something, but i think it's finally happening... every day is bringing me closer to who i want to be, and i am the one responsible for it.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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