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Why the English language is difficult to learn
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
English is a crazy language
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
Why is it that people recite at a play and play at a recital?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Or, met a sung hero? Have you ever run into someone who was gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this post, I end it.
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Well, tonight in class a student wanted me to move so he could sweep the floor. He said he was sorry to "disturb" me. I was a bit "perturbed" at the inconvenience until I wondered whether or not I had ever been "turbed" in the first place. If not, could I have even been "disturbed" or "perturbed?" Oh well, it's late and I'm going to "retire" though that sounds more like something I would do to my car.
Think good thoughts,
e
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Hahaha!
Thanks guys, this was a great and amusing read.
Take care, both of you!
Hugs:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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To stop people (like my poor Japanese English students) from having to learn English! It would be great if the entire world could just learn it as second language in addition to their own country-based first language. Break down international communication difficulties with such an easy-to-learn language, while each nations keeps their own rich literary culture.
Those setences of Nick's at the start for the most part are just a verb/ noun different in pronounciation. But I agree that English is still a pretty confusing language at times.
Incidently e, congralutations on your 1000th post!
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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My Thai partner of more than 10 years, nick-named Man for you new peeps, read this, with help, and sighed...
He also wants to know why you chop a tree down and chop the wood up...why can't it be the other way around.
He proudly reminded me that with a 56 letter alphabet including 14 vowels, every Thai word may be pronounced exactly correctly, even without knowing the meaning."A" is a different letter than "eh", for example.
But I pointed out some of the numerous remaining pitfalls of the Thai language...like the 5 tones. The word "sueh" can mean tiger, shirt, wood, silk, and one other thing I forget right now, all depending if you use the proper tone. I once rushed a friend to the emergency room and announced that she needed to see the head horse right away. The words for near and far are only a tone different, which doesn't seem sporting at all, as I always forget which is which.
But another friend who speaks Swahili says it's much the same in that language. In a business meeting, he once told the assembled managers of his firm that he was very tired that morning because he had been kept awake all the previous night by a large penis which had gotten inside his MOSQUITO netting. Need I say that the tone is vital in differenciating those two words?
Oye Vey...::-) ::-) 
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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Ĉu vi mem parolas e-lingve? 
Samideano.
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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And then there was the 5 year old who came home from his first day at school completely confused because his teacher had constantly been telling him to "sit down and sit up!"
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I can say is the same for Spanish too.... sometimes it can be confusing. What helps in Spanish is that you have written accents that help you pronounce the word the right way.. with some words depends where the accent is or the word can mean something totally different. However, if we think about it all language have some weird rules many just wonder why they even exist. Oh well all we can do is learn them 
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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However, since Nick is in the UK he would probably "retyre". 
