A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?
icon5.gif Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?  [message #20945] Mon, 24 May 2004 20:08 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?

The reason I ask is simple, really. I was a normal kid. Went through school normally. Well, apart from being gay I suppose, but I am normal, and that bit of me happens to be gay. At school I counted 50 or so boys I really wanted. And that leads me to my odd thought.

I was reasonable looking. Like I said, a normal kid. Who was attracted to me?

Someone must have been. Not multitudes, just someone. So how did I miss him? And why did I miss him?

How are you missing the guy who wants you? He must be there, and he must, surely, look at you for too long. He must. He just must.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
a lot to wrap the head around...  [message #20950 is a reply to message #20945] Mon, 24 May 2004 20:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721




i never thought about that, at least not more than fleetingly; lying in bed at night dreaming about this person or that one, or wondering how this one or that one could not notice me (hence lyrics i posted down below in that one thread).

sometimes i'd use this thought to comfort myself, or keep my self esteem from hitting rock bottom. "maybe someone was looking at me that way, while i was busy chasing this dream or that false hope...."

it's interesting to think of; sad, but also hopeful. i guess the question is, how do you keep yourself open to notice these things -- especially if you're one who can remain very discreet in looking at/wishing for others? maybe someone else is being just as cautious and careful, and we might never find them?



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
Re: Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?  [message #20953 is a reply to message #20945] Mon, 24 May 2004 22:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Zambezi is currently offline  Zambezi

Toe is in the water
Location: Various (!)
Registered: January 2004
Messages: 40



Yes, he must be there.

But he is probably just like you or me: simply too scared to say it, and trying our very best to hide it.

I know somebody must have fancied me at school - whoever it was kept stealing my underwear from the laundry. Damned if I can think who it was though.



If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Re: Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?  [message #20956 is a reply to message #20945] Tue, 25 May 2004 16:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I was asked to post this by someone who prefers not to be identified.

In my professional capacity I once met with a gay person who was religiously an active orthodox Jew. He wanted to persuade me to start a synagogue for gays or at the very least to hold services regularly for gays. Naively, I asked him why on earth orthodox gays would want services specially for them since the service they would want would be identical to any other orthodox service. His response was enlightening. He said that gays need places where they know that other people, are just like them: religiously orthodox and gay and available.


I think that the greatest gift that the Israel National Lesbi-Gay Association has ever given Israel's gay teenagers is the recent creation of a nation-wide network of youth clubs specially for gay youngsters. Youngsters can go to these clubs and know that everyone there is just like them: gay and available - whatever other social and personal differences there may be. (These youth clubs have also recently been recognized by the Ministry of Education as eligible for government subsidy.)


So, it seems that the short answer to your question is: people have to know that you are gay and available, otherwise it's pot luck. Places that are safe for both adults and youngsters to visit for this purpose should be created wherever possible.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
icon6.gif I think I was scoped out by a GIRL a couple months ago.  [message #20957 is a reply to message #20945] Tue, 25 May 2004 17:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
lenny is currently offline  lenny

On fire!
Location: Far Away
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 1755



I sat on the bus minding my own business, and she kept looking over her shoulder from the seat in front of mine... I'm sure she was looking AT ME, she really twisted to be able to look backwards and I was sitting right behind her. I'm sure our eyes made contact several times.

Ok, she might have been thinking I was some sort of psycho, but I didn't do anything to make her think that. Smile

She was cute too, with long hair and pretty eyes.



"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
Re: Do we miss things? And do we miss them a lot?  [message #20958 is a reply to message #20945] Tue, 25 May 2004 18:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
nick is currently offline  nick

Likes it here
Location: London
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 351



No, it seldom crosses my mind that anyone might be attracted to me.

Looking back, on the rare occasions when it transpired that somebody was, I was astonished. And rather sceptical.

There is a website called http://www.hotornot.com where you can post your picture (anonymously) and people coming on to the site vote whether you are "hot or not" by giving you a score out of ten. The site claims to have had over 8 billion votes counted and 11,700,000 photos submitted. So that's certainly one way of finding out how attractive other people think you are!

After you have voted on a picture, the site gives you the consensus rating based on what other people thought. Sometimes I agree with the consensus and sometimes I don't. When the latter happens I find that strangely reassuring.

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Which means that there is hope for all of us. Smile
icon14.gif Re: I think I was scoped out by a GIRL a couple months ago.  [message #20959 is a reply to message #20957] Tue, 25 May 2004 21:12 Go to previous message
sparks is currently offline  sparks

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 57



thanx for making my day lenny,i had to ride the bus today and was scoped out too. I just crossed my eyes and went to sleep..Missed my stop too.Had to walk back 6 blocks then ten mor for my eye appointment.Girls sure are a pain. sparks
Previous Topic: i won't get into TOO explicit detail...
Next Topic: This is just made my day......
Goto Forum: