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Over the past few months ( maybe more ) a lot of things had happened to me. They are not bad things but instead they are good things that have made me realized how much it would be easier just to tell my friends i'm gay. I know if i do, it could have negative and positive consequences, but mostly it would be positive consequences because my school appearently is gay/lesbian tolerant. I started to hang out with a special group of friends. I met them through my friend Diana ( lesbian let me point out ) and we have a lot fun together. Odd but almost all the people that know about my sexuality are either gay/lesbian and they don't even have a class with me. My friends, the ones i go to class with everyday, they don't even know a thing about me, or at least i don't think so.
I didn't realized until a week ago that there is sort of a big gay/lesbian community at my school. I hang out with somelesbians and gays ( about 8 of them total) and i can honestly say i feel very confortable to be around them. There are about two guys in our group that are gay also and they have told me which guys they know is bi or gay. Let tell you, is more than what i expected. I could not believe my eyes but it is true. We are so happy to be around each other. The straight people that hang out with us don't even care what we are. They like us for what we are as a person not what we decide to do in bed with someone. I wish more people would feel the same way about gays/lesbians.
Sometimes we stay after school just to talk, we try to go out together, we have fun. Is funny cause the guys of course check out the guys and the girls check out the girls in school. We just laugh because is so great that we can talk so freely about these things. We even gave each other nicknames like vigina, orgasm, orgy, penis, among others ( i hope you get the idea ). As of me, on the other hand, my name is BJ ( i hope you know what it is). I know the names might not approapiate but we are teenagers and like to come up with the stupidest things, we are young.
Well now that more people know about me, i'm starting to feel better with myself. I feel i can just be me, Miguel, the guy that likes to talk and make jokes. I'm reaching the point in which i'm not going to deny it to anyone who asks me what is my sexuality. I mean if they don't like me cause of that i think is stupid and maybe he/she is not a friend worth having in the first place. I should not care what other people say. The important thing is how i feel inside, right? I'm gay and that is part of me, it should not matter what i do in bed , is my business. I'm not going to scream to the whole school i'm gay, but to whoever talks to me and wants to know, i will not be afraid to tell them. I just hope people don't take it as a tragedy.
I just had to say it or write it down. Thanx to whoever read this far. I will try to keep updating anything that happens from now on.
Thanx for listening... bye
Miguel.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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Hey, M! It's always terrific to read your thoughts...I look forward to your posts. I get sooo jealous of young people now who have so many more opportunities to be themselves than I did when I was in High School in the 60's (yikes). Just to be self-aware and know who you are is such a blessing, even if you don't talk about it with too many people.
I remember the first time I told myself, "Yup, you're gay..." was after my female date tried to French kiss me when I brought her home from the Senior Prom. It was like "Ewww...so THAT'S what the problem is!" I had been attracted to boys for like ever, but the penny had not really dropped until then. Now it can be sooo different. I'm glad!
Of course, for those who still have to be waaay back in the closet cuz of family or the local redneck scene or whatever, I know it's still a hard road...but it does seem to be getting better...I pray it continues!
And I'd love to ehar more about what's going on with you! Hugs!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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thank you so much.... i'm glad now i start to be myself. To tell you the truth more of the gay guy inside is starting to show.. but it doesn't matter.
Fresh kissing... i have kissed girls several times ( 2 actually ) but i didn't like it. They were terrific girls but i just didn't feel good. Now when i kiss guys.. well well that is another story. I feel like i go to heaven, is amazing.
I agree is a hard to road to follow if you want to come out...... it has taken me a long time to finally start telling some people. But now i feel much better.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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