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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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I just heard on the radio that members of PFOX (parents and friends of ex gays) are freaked because legislation isn't being passed to protect ex-gays from hate crimes by gays.
How can you be an ex-gay? Why would I do anything to hurt this person? Are there really hate crimes and bashings going on towards these people and how have I missed it on the news?
They have a website that is both sad and scarey. http://www.pfox.org.
Are they talking about people who were psyched out of being gay?
{{hugs}} and confused ~
smith
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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They are talking about people that have been through the "cure".
I have never heard of direct bashing from gays at random because another gay has been "cured", however, there have been loads of reports of quazi-domestic violence between ex-lovers and ex-partners because one or the other has "seen the light".
This violence I attribute more to a torn heart and rash feelings of rejection than direct attacks because of a "curing".
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Plus there has never been any scientifically valid reports of anybody ever changing sexual orientation. What can be changed is sexual behaviour, if you are made to feel guilty enough. The "cures" touted by the reactionary right and the religious bigots are from guilty people able to make themselves have sex "heterosexually", or thru being essentially bisexual to begin with and just not allowing the same sex feelings any freedom.
Many legitimate psychological societies and organizations publish info about how these "curese" are horrendously abusive.
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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It is probably a publicity stunt. These people want funds.
Any decent counsellor will tell you that sexuality is never fixed and varies. And that's what they base their claims upon. And "altering sexuality" is a choice. Heck, look at me. I chose heterosexual to live and act and "be". But my attraction to the same gender has never wavered, despite managing to be attracted at times to the opposite gender.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I wish i could explain it without resorting to pejoratives, but i don't think it's possible. This bitching and moaning about not being protected under the language of hate crime law is a red herring--a way to get themselves in the public eye. The language of the law is "Sexual orientation, or perceived sexual orientation." That means if i beat a straight boy up (assuming that i were that butch) and called him a breeder b*tch at the same time, i would be as guilty of a hate crime as someone gaybashing me would be, so their complaint is actually a load of nonsense.
The APA and every other professional organization dealing with mental health issues that i've ever heard of has roundly condemned so-called 'reparative therapy' as detrimental to the patients and driven by an ideological goal, not a therapeutic concern for the patient. In short, it's bullsh*t.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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sparks
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 57
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thank you for publishing this article.I found it to be interesting and informative.Bottom line is that in my opinion the article was factual and balanced both pro and con.However an objective conclusion is that ex-gay does not work period.It would seem that such repairative therapy works to some extent on bi-sexuals who lean towards desiring a intimate relation with the oppisit gender.The addage-gay-always gay, seems to hold true.What is upsetting to me is the *guilt trip* that religious wackos put out.When are people going to learn that the *creator* does not make junk and does not make mistakes!!!!! Thanks again for the informative read Timmy,as always you are a good friend. sparks
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I read through the article and it does sound pretty balanced. I personally can understand the "ex-gay" movement and the logic behind it. In fact, through my association with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons) I was encouraged to ignore my homosexual side. And for some people that is what they need, it wasn't for me, though.
The logic these Christian groups use (and I'd venture to say that they are quite love-based not hate based like the outright homophobes) is that regardless of what makes one gay, even if one is born like that, it is still a "sin" to act on your desires. It is often compared to a predisposition for alcohol, or being born with a temper. Having the desire to drink or to get angry and want to bash something might be "natural" and something you are born with, but that doesn't make it right to act on. There is a passage in the Book of Mormon that basically says "The natural man is an enemy to God and has been since the fall" and then goes on to speak about "putting off the natural man" and becoming pure. What these groups provide is a way to live with your homosexual desires without having to break with your faith, which for fundamentalist religions like the Mormons can be a relieving prospect. The Mormon based organisation is called Evergreen and if you want to find out more about the "ex-gay" movement, you can here http://www.evergreen-intl.org/Open.ivnu
Personally I don't feel it'd be "right" for me to put off my gay feelings. I have prayed about them and I feel they are something that is true and a part of me. But for those that choose to go through the process of overcoming their homosexual behaviour and trying to cope with their same-sex attraction I wish them all the best.
As for the link posted originally, well, I don't think that "ex-gays" need to form groups against discrimination because as AJ says sexuality laws cover straight people, too. I do think there would be some judgemental behaviour from gay people towards "ex-gays" although I highly doubt that it is anywhere near the scale of gay discrimination. Don't worry though smith, I don't think it is you that has hurt them, nor do I think you can change being gay. Unless it is important to you. Unless you really want to. Then I wish you all the luck in the world in trying to do one of the hardest things possible, putting off your sexual desire.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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I liked the article. it did, in fact, seem fairly balanced it it's approach, and gave fair consideration to both sides.
I have to say though--kyle sounded creepy.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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Re: A potentially half decent article? 
