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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > I am so mad right now.
icon8.gif I am so mad right now.  [message #21358] Wed, 30 June 2004 05:52 Go to next message
xcboi02 is currently offline  xcboi02

Toe is in the water
Location: Sunny, or not so sunny Ca...
Registered: January 2004
Messages: 79




Right now I do not even want to talk to my mom right now. I refuse to even deal with her. She is so ignorant, so ...... i won't even go into that. So well i've been sick the last week or so, and this last weekend i decided to go up to sf for pride, and met up with my friend. All of a sudden she just was like "oh is your friend you visited gay?" i'm like "why?" she's like "well you don't want to hang out with them be close to them cuz they'll give you aids" i'm like wtf? i'm like 1. it's not only a gay problem 2. it's not transmitted by touching, then she's like you don't wanna have sex cuz they won't tell you if they have aids, and that they're out to give everyone aids. Not only that no matter what i said she's still adamant that gays are the leading cause of aids and the spread of it. It's not the first time she's said something so homophobic. One time my sister was talking about one of her coworkers at the time and he was complaining about living in the gay district of seattle, and my sis says if you have such a problem of thinking that others will think you're that way then stop flaunting the fact that you're living in that area or move out. My mom's like "yeah you don't wanna live there because you don't want to be close to those people. If you are close to them too much you'll pick up something, you don't know if you live there too long you might catch it. my sis was just like no. but my mom gave me a GLARE in the mirror, (this was said twice so both times she gave me glares)... from previous experience, and the one argument i had with my parents about this, the way they put it they made it seem that it was gays are out to grab boys or men to be gay, and stuff and that it was a cult and that they're the cause of all bad stuff in society... well i won't go into it.. but yeah.. right now i'm just so mad at my mom.... this sucks.. Sad>Sad >Sad >Sad >Sad :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

Anyways... hope everyone's having a good day. my day was ok. got out of jury duty, and got back from the carribean... but i'll go into that later... just not in the mood to go into this... TTYL
Al
Re: I am so mad right now.  [message #21359 is a reply to message #21358] Wed, 30 June 2004 06:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I think she's just scared. Have you tried showing her real data?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I am so mad right now.  [message #21360 is a reply to message #21359] Wed, 30 June 2004 06:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
xcboi02 is currently offline  xcboi02

Toe is in the water
Location: Sunny, or not so sunny Ca...
Registered: January 2004
Messages: 79




yeah but this whole thing has been going on and on for 5 years now... Sad
Al
Re: I am so mad right now.  [message #21361 is a reply to message #21360] Wed, 30 June 2004 08:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joesdog is currently offline  joesdog

Likes it here
Location: USA
Registered: June 2004
Messages: 252




Hey al--

Timmy is right--your mom is scared 'cause she doesn't really understand AIDS. She doesn't get it, and maybe she doesn't really want to. It may also be that she is stuck in one of those I OUGHT to feel this way about homosexuals in general and AIDS in particular, so i can't back down when i'm in a discussion about it.

One possible way to de-escalate the situation and still educate her, is to leave educational materials lying around...a brochure from the CDC on the coffeetable one day...maybe something from the public health department AIDS prevention project in the bathroom another day. The point is for her to be able to read it without having to feel like she has to admit that she's been wrong all the while, which means she doesn't have to get defensive.

Good luck on the whole thing. Even my mother, who has been dealing with me as an out and proud queer for the last 18 years, still occasionally says something ludicrous about me catching AIDS and dying. I understand that she loves me and doesn't want me to get sick, so i reassure her and let it go.

anyway, good luck.



"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
Re: I am so mad right now.  [message #21363 is a reply to message #21360] Wed, 30 June 2004 20:11 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



About two years ago, maybe three, my wife's brother in law said to her "Aren't you worried about AIDS?"

All he showed was ignorance. Well, and stupidity. But mostly ignorance, because it was outside his experience. Even given the relevant information he is still ignorant.

"Gays," you see, "get AIDS and die." It really does feel that simple to some people. It's especially true if those people want to protect us.

Another example, on another messageboard, someone was sure that AIDS arrived spontaneously because of anal sex. It took a lot to disabuse her of this notion, and she now has and understands real facts. The difference is that she simply did not know, and was willing and able to absorb the new information.

I don't know what age your mother is.

Mine said to me "We didn't know of any homosexuals, dear. Just actors and people like that." With her homosexuals are "things to be known of", not people you know.

I know this isn't terribly helpful when you are angry, and it won't calm your anger much. But we have all been there, one way or another.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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