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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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It was e's advice to The Black prince that brought thi sback to the forefront of my mind.
There are two parts to this. Logic helps.
Part One:
When I was a kid I was attracted to a huge number of my schoolmates. I totted it up. Of the 500 or so kids in that school I wanted at least 50 sexually. I found them attractive. Now even if the Kinsey 10% rule is true the probability of the intersection of the set of gay boys with the set of boys I fancied being a 100% intersection is remote.
Logic thus says that "being attractive to other boys" is not a deciding factor in whether you are gay.
Well, we knew that!
Part Two:
"I was raped. And I actually found to my horror that my body responded in some positive way (possibly an erection?) to the rape. He must have know I was gay before I knew myself."
That needs a moment to sink in. However it is a surprisingly common reaction. We are designed to respond to sexual stimuli. We are designed to get erect and even to reach orgasm without huge provocation. It si the friction that does it, not the emotions. And actually fear is a profound sexual stimulant.
So, are you gay?
On balance or probabaility, no. Again, assmuming the Kinsey 10% rule, is it likely that you are both gay and were picked out to be raped because of that? probability theory says no. And, in fact the two items are 100% unconnected (I am not considering gay-bashing rapes here of "out" gay people, ok?)
So where does that leave us?
Pretty obviously we will need to think this through, and some of those here who have been abused may have what I can only describe as "odd feelings" about it.
I can summarise my small thesis as follows:- You are not gay because other men find you attractive
- You are not gay because you were raped
- Even if your body (or even your emotions) responded positively to the rape, that does not make you gay
The floor is now yours
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Therefore,
If you are gay and raped by a woman you are then straight.
If you drop a hammar on your foot you become a carpenter.
If the neighbors dog humps your leg? What then?
If you are gay then you ar gay... If you are not gay then you are not gay...
Rapes or wanks in the night or diddling little boys tiddling each others little peewee's don't "make" gays...
God makes gays...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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OK,
Now seriously.... It was Author, Christopher Isherwood that described the gay condition best when he said....
"It seems to me that the realclue to your sex-orientation lies in your romantic feelingsrather than in your sexual feelings. If you are really gay, you are able to fall in love with a man, not just enjoy sex with him."
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Sorry to say the author is (for me) UNKNOWN, but have you heard: "Homosexuality is what two men do in bed together; GAY is a way of life." Makes sense to me. d
"Remember what the Dormouse said:
"Feed your head; feed your head."
--Jefferson Airplane - WHITE RABBIT
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know, it is by no means necessarily homosexual to be able to make love to another man. It is perfectly possible for one to do that and be 100% heterosexual in all except that act.
Are two 10 year old boys homosexual when they decide to see what goes where? Somehow I doubt that very much.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Edmund White is, as usual, correct... at least to my way of thinking. No, being attractive to other men does not make one gay. Nor does making love with another man. I have had sex with any number of men who self-identified as bi and even straight. Sexuality is fluid, not carved in stone.
However, only some bi men and gay men fall in love with other men, in my experience. Which is not to say that every gay man will fall in love, but the potential for falling in love with a man is, imho, the defining characteristic of a gay man.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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Ok, you're probably wondering how Edmund White got into this discussion....had a brain fart. There is a chain of associations that led me to use that name instead of Christopher Isherwood's....Mr White is the editor of a very fine publication called "The Christopher Street Review", for which Mr Isherwood has written, and with the similarity in names, well.... indulge me, please. ;-D
anyway....
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? 
