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TygerBoiSammy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 57
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I don't know a lot of you here. But I've been so blessed by all of you. I don't know the stuff that goes on between people and like the turf wars and arguments and more heated discussions, as my Dad calls them. But I do know that indirectly I started some bad stuff.
So without knowing anythings that went on in the past, or even asking people to look into the past for reasons and angers and stuff, I just ask that no one fight over something that happened because i got worse.
I don't know who this Robert Bryce is. I'm not sure what happened before and i don't want to know. It's not a matter that I should stick my nose in. I don't know why Marc feels so left out or hurt or ignored by others. Robby says that Marc's not only someone that thinks outside the box but that he often has stuff to say that not all of us want to hear but should listen too cause he's seen the dark, nasty side of life. He's seen it and come out of it and cares enough about everyone to give fair warning. Robby's taught me a lot since he started being my teacher. One of the best things he taught me was that we got to listen to the minority, even if you don't agree, cause they probly got something important to say. Ignoring someone who you don't agree with don't make you right.
Marc, like I said, I don't know you. And Robby only told me that you've had it rough, but you came out shiny. He said you still got lots to teach people. He said that if they let the real meaning slip past the words sometimes, they might be able to see a little differnently. And if we get so big for our britches that we can't make room to learn, then we're truely deserving of whatever bad stuff may happen from not opening our minds. I thought opening minds was a lot of what Tim's site and all the stories and posts and info and stuff was about?
Robby says sometimes we forget. I know I do. Sometimes we need to forget. Other times it's wicked bad to forget.
I forgot in the wicked bad way. I forgot that just cause I was set back a little that the fight wasn't over yet. I forgot that a lot of people love me and look at me for stuff. I forgot that someone very special to me doesn't need to have tyger bites because I'm mad at myself, medical science and god, and anyone who got too close while I was being an asshole. So like, even if you forgot, like I did, you can always remember, and hope your friends can remember to forget.
Timmy, I hope you can forget too, but in the good way. I know that whatever this person that upset you did must have been really bad. I don't think you'd react like that if it was just something like him telling you to "fuck off." I talked with you a few times and you don't seem like the nasty type. Marc, I hope you can forget too. Not that people sometimes don't understand you, because I hope that you are wise enough to realize how much people still need you. Robby says you're wise in ways some folk don't consider, and that's their loss if they can't at least see that you've got good points. I hope that what you forget is how much some stuff hurts. Not forget the hurt, just not remember it so that it makes you madder. People on the internet don't always think about how they say stuff. They just say it so that it makes a big impression and not always a good one. I hope you forget the big egoes and remember the little hearts. I hope you remember open minds. And I hope you don't think I'm being some whiny brat, even if Robby thinks I am sometimes. Guess I forget how old I am sometimes. Robby says a lot of people have that problem too.
There's someone on the board I gotta say something to, in private. Details aren't important, the one I'm talking to knows. "I forgot. I tried to keep you safe by pushing you away. I forgot that I can't push you away anymore. I forgot about always. I forgot you're hurting too. I'm sorry."
Um, I don't know how to end this, I really didn't want to write all this much. I don't even know if I made any sense in this. All I do know is that there's a lotta people here that really care about each other. And I do appreciate how everyone's pulling for me, even if I've been a total ass the last few days. Thanks for everything, and thanks for remembering, and thanks for forgetting the bad stuff I did. I'll try harder next time to be worthy of all your prayers and hopes and stuff.
Cya, Sammy, aka Tyger
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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If you will accept a place on my knee, and a soft, safe cuddle, I would be honoured.
Don't worry about the occasional fights here. We are people first. And people fight. It's like all families.
My sweet friend, I know we barely know each other. Yet you have a place in my heart and in my family. I have nothing else to offer.
With trust, my friend, I trust twice. And people know this of me. I trust the first time and accept that a breach of trust was an accident. I take the apology and trust the second time. A second breach I deem to be with malice. It is a fair way to live a life, I think. Only two people ever have done it twice. Each was forgiven once. Each knew. So, I have forgiven. Once and well.
You are right that this place is about opening minds. So far we have discussed hugely controversial topics here without, in the main, rancour. These range widely.
My aim is to have a board which, while far from sanitised, is as useful to parents of gay children as to the gay children themsleves. And children may be any age, of course 
I have another aim. To continue to have you around for a long time. And peole are praying for you continually. Not just for you, but for others afflicted too. You gonna stay?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Sometimes being an outsider brings a special kind of clarity of vision. Not knowing all of us maybe makes you better at seeing us the way we are than we ourselves can. And your post should remind all of us that we don't have to be old and grey to have both important and wise things to say.
Sammy, you're an astute observer, and you seem to have your head screwed on straight too. With that in mind, I think it's not too much to ask that we in turn forgive you if you sometimes suffer from disappointments and setbacks. You're only human after all, and none of the rest of us are exactly perfect either!
Take care of yourself alright, and be nice to Shem, because he is my friend.
Sincerely:
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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You are a nice person, that much is plain enough for any person to see.
As for your letting off a little steam... Everyone is allowed that...
If you hold it in you might POP and make an even yukkier mess...
You will be all right...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Sammy, you're so obviously not an asshole. even if your friends bear a few tyger bites, you have apologized and accepted responsibility for what happened. That takes a lot of the pain out of a bite, believe me. The truth is, assholes don't apologize for the most part, and when they do, they don't mean it.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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A simple request...... 
You made perfect sense! 
