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Hey guys,
As most of you know school like just started for us a few days ago like 2... and well there are some thoughts I've been having especially now that we are back in school and all that jazz again. It's taken me a few days to actually sit down and write this but I have been thinking about it for awhile so just bear with me please.
Some one give me some answer
Whats it mean when you no longer give a damn about the people around you? Pleasantries are no longer felt necessary becuase you just don't care what they think of you or not?
Short story to go along with this. First day of school I walk in unsure of what I was doing there, I have basically lost many of my friends over the summer and just am very I guess technically I'm alone but mentally I feel nice, I'm ok being alone right now at least. So I walk into the auditorium and am greeted by happy faces, smiling face, everyone standing around idly chatting before the first bells ring. I walk in (dressed pretty wll considering my normal... my clothes were even clean...) I'm just standing there undure of what to do looking at all these people I 'know' but cant find words to say to. So being me, I stood slightly to the side of everyone just looking at them occasionally people would look at me or elbeow there way around me but whats it mean when you no longer feel the need to go say hi to the people you see everyday.
Or at work I work at the library and this guy there is the only person i speak to occasionally I gave one word responses to the other people but I just don't wnat to speak to them and I no longer feel it necessary to pretend I'm friends with them.
I don't know maybe it means I am just more comfortable with my skin as Timmy says to me soemtimes but like I eat lunch alone during study I sit next to this girl who doesnt speak named danielle in gym i sat against a wall while everyone else mingled and talked.
In a way its like people no longer feel a need to speak to me as well, not that I mind I guess. Just diffrent in some ways. This is getting kinda long and I know im rambling so im sure you get my point by now... catch ya later.
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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I get like this too... have times like this periodically all my life. and even when i'm not feeling like this, when i'm around people i don't know, i tend to be rather cool and aloof. This isn't a problem, it's just a way of being. It means that you won't have the fun, spontaneous encounters with people that extroverts sometimes have, but it's ok.
You said that you're fine with being alone right now--not depressed, not all sad...so maybe you're just in a 'working things out' stage. You need to focus on you, and try to figure out some internal stuff before you're ready to get out there and be social again. Consider it a sort of internal retreat.
cheers!
aj
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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