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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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This has often struck me as the case for me, but I wondered about you.
First let me define "lust". I view it as an inexplicable attraction that is definitely sexual. It need not lead to love.
Romantic love, to me is the desire to be with that person for ever, meeting their needs and yes, making love to them physically.
So, to me Romantic Love starts with lust. Though lust does not lead to love in all, or even many, cases.
Over to you?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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if lust is a sexual attraction, then explain two people falling in love who have never met? lust, sometimes, is not a a variable in this equation.
to me, lust is something you either can't have, something you want that someone else has.
"more tongue and groove than a hardwood floor"
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I guess i'd differentiate between attraction with emotional overtones and attraction with none. the first is infatuation, the second lust. Neither are good or bad...but there is a difference, i think.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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Lust is like the sexual part of being in romantic love with someone, often the lust for a loved one dies out and their partner is still very much in "lust" with them. Usually the case of when relasionships go bad. At least that is how I view the topic.::-)
Time is lifes currency, spend it well.
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blue
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Likes it here |
Registered: August 2004
Messages: 131
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Argh. I had a great answer, and pressed 'Escape.'
Yeah, raise an eternal question, why don't you, Timmy? :amused:
I wonder if I'm qualified to answer? Seems like a little more experience would be required. Well, I'll give it a shot.
Lust: physical sexual attraction. Pheromones, hormones, body language, sheer instinct. Could it lead to romantic love? Well, yes, but an emotional commitment would have to enter the picture first.
A crush or infatuation: To me, that implies an emotional response, more than just a physical response. I'd say it's a better prelude to romantic love, but it has to grow into romance.
Friendship? Sure, that's as good or maybe better as a prelude to romantic love. It's sort of like backing into it. The emotional or friendly component is there, and the sexual or physical part has to deepen into romance.
Hmm. OK, that's about what I had written.
Romantic love? I think that's a combination of all the above, or the sum or fulfillment of them. :thud: OK, I think I just made us all swoon! :biggrin: And yes, I realize that was a definition on a courteous pedestal. Maybe it's naive. Alright, so there's a dreamer underneath the hard outer shell. :shrugs:
~Blue
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You know, love for a pen pal can also start with lust.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well i wish i could answer with more authority on this subject but i'll tell you what i belive. Romantic love in most cases starts with some degree of lust, perhaps just a little perhaps a lot. Typicaly the first thing that i notice is how he looks. It's not shallow, it's just human nature. I wouldn't want to date a guy that i didn't think was at least slightly cute (he dosn't have to be like Cory Seiver cute but at least mildly attractive.)
My second example is in the relm of internet dating, on two ocasions i met someone online, we talked for a while, things looked like they were maybe possible then we swapped pictures and......in one case he kinda stopped talking to me, in the other he flat out said, "sorry, didn't know you weren't black." Which kinda made me mad cus it said in my profile that i'm not black. but that's off topic. Still it does prove that lack of physical attraction in the begining stages of that relationship ended it as fast as it had begun.
So in conclusion, Romantic love in most cases starts with some degree of lust because;
a)It's one of the first things i notice, i like to think i'm fairly average so therefore it's probably one of the first things most people notice.
b)even on the internet where there is no phycisical attraction lust still plays a role.
so there you go, that's my never-to-be-humble opinion.
take care,
Pyro.
(oh and by the way, Cory Seiver---canadian actor, i think he's about 20 now maybe, perhaps 19. He's extreemly cute, run a google search, you'll see  I almost got a chance to meet him when he was shooting a movie scene in town but they canceled and decided on a different set at the last moment  ah well, such is life.)
Do what you love, changing the world is incidental.
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