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Im alone, no one knows about me being gay, and this is prob the first time ive ever put in in words, even if only in writing. I just need someone to tell me they care. I dont know why i feel like this and should i tell someone? i know my parents would disown me. Im sorry that im like this, but i only want to be me, am i realy alone in feeling like im small all of the sudden, only the last year. I used to be proud and brave and unsure, now im sure and not brave anymore , i feel like i shouldn't be me. I just need a friend, Please reply, anyone, i dont want to cry alone all my life.:'-(
A truth told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent
-William Blake
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I'll listen...i think you'll find that everyone here will listen. You've taken a big step in the right direction just by writting this post.
I don't know what to tell you but i sure would like to listen and i do care... Keep posting, and feel free to send me an E-mail or and instant message if you have hotmail. I'd like to help anyway i can.
You're not alone. 
Pyro.
Do what you love, changing the world is incidental.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You found a good place. Learn gently who we are, and befrined any, all, or none of us. Be prepared to alter your thinking all the time, and know that we care already.
I built this place for you and people like you, of all ages.
This is because I was once precisely like you. Note the tense. past tense. well, mostly.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hey moogle--
You're not alone. There are lots of us out here, and at least in this place, we'll listen and support whatever you need to say. It's hard as hell growing up gay in a hostile place--i had the same experience.
I can't really say whether you should tell anyone yet...don't know enough about your circumstances. it can be a tricky thing.
Don't believe that this is the end of the world, ok? you're still you...now you just know for sure more about who you are.
I care, and i want to listen to whatever you need to say, ok?
cheers,
aj
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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blue
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Likes it here |
Registered: August 2004
Messages: 131
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You are not the only one ever to feel like that. It can be very scary to realize, "I'm gay," and wonder if anyone could possibly understand. You are not alone. You are not "bad" and you don't need to be "cured." Even recently, I felt much like you do. The good news is, you can be gay and you don't have to feel so sad or bad about yourself.
Many guys are like you. They are just as confused and scared as you are. So they hide it. That makes it seem like you're all alone and there's no one to talk to. It's scary to be different.
It takes a lot of courage to admit to yourself that you're gay, to say it to yourself or to write it down or look in the mirror...and like who you see.
When I was in my mid-teens, I felt the same. I wondered if I might be gay. I wasn't quite sure, but I was pretty sure. I wasn't able to admit it to myself, though, and to write it? Oh, I couldn't. But I was.
You said you don't know why you have gay feelings. No one quite knows why, but people do have those feelings. Even mostly-straight people can have gay feelings once in a while.
You even said you're sorry you're like that and you're worried you shouldn't be that way. You feel confused and very discouraged and not brave and belittled. It is alright to be gay.
It is not a disease to be cured. It may even be beneficial for some of us to be gay and not reproducing, when there are too many billions of people already, and when sharing love with a friend makes your friendship stronger and helps you both survive. (See, that's from the "survival of the fittest, reproductive strategy" scientific perspective.)
From a religious view, maybe you believe it's wrong to be gay. What I'm going to say here is much different than anything I heard when I grew up, and many people disagree with it. But you should know not everyone believes it is against God to be gay. It is not evil to like or love another person. God doesn't hate you for being gay, and God wouldn't create anything evil. There are books and articles on interpreting what the Bible says, and some of them offer real, faithful differences of opinion on the meanings of the words and how people thought back then. It is very possible that the passages were talking not about being gay, but about good hygiene to prevent disease, or promiscuity, or against sexual violence, or prostitution, or public sex, or sex as ritual to other gods. There are even a few passages where people may have been gay.
You said you think your parents would disown you. You asked if you should tell someone. I can't give you a perfect answer to those. You can find people who will listen and help, including if you need safety if someone might kick you out or beat you up. You can think about questions to ask that might let you know what your family and friends might think about being gay. Chances are, someone in your family, or some friend or friend's family, or a trusted teacher or minister, will listen and support you. You just have to find out who. I think it's important to find someone to talk to, but you don't have to do that immediately.
You can talk to us. There are other teens here, too, even one or two right near your age, who are going through the same things. (I saw your profile.) There are other safe places to talk online, too, and there are good sites with info for teens who are questioning. Just please be careful online, because not everyone is nice, OK?
There must be phone hotlines and places in your area that offer safe, anonymous support and counseling to teens. Look for them. Online is nice, but doesn't help when you need a friend to talk to and to offer a shoulder when you need to lean on someone for support.
Wow, I wrote a lot, huh? I hope this helps some. Please don't feel so bad about yourself. I'm sorry you were crying. I know it isn't easy. -- By the way, I have only begun to come out, even though I had feelings like you do when I was a teen.
~Blue
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Everyone feels small and uncertain soemtimes, a few of us more then others. Hopefully you can take comfort that your not alone. I think everyone on here can attest to feeling dumb and insignificant and alone. The good news is your not and there are lots of great friends and people here to take advantage of and help ou out when you feel blue. Specially Timmy and smith, I think thye are the very best at listenign and helping you feel better about who you are.
now that you know who you are you shouldnt feel lost naymore, easy to say I know. Sometimes being honest to yourself is good enough to hold you ahwile. If you wanna talk my AIm and email are on here I believe, feel free to contact me..
Peace from the 3rd fence post
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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You are right, thanx, but on that, i tried to pick my parents and thought alot, not paying atention in class the whole day. I tinkered and my parents would realy disown me, they get all angry and throw the tv almost to peices if "an abomination to god" just comes on. your right and you DID help. I think im going to start and try to be happy anyway. Im gona start small and just go for it. Baby steps up the mountain till i reach the unreachable stars. My mother and father is not encouriging and openly state that im a nuecence, well i just DONT want to make trouble right now, im not comfortable, but it wont go worse if it stays the same. For now. Thanx again
Blue
A truth told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent
-William Blake
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I realy would like a friend, no strings. I have love for all, even if i dont get it now, im sure i will. Thank you till eternaty. This site will become important, i just know.
Yours truly with love, hope and faith
A truth told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent
-William Blake
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blue
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Likes it here |
Registered: August 2004
Messages: 131
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I am glad I helped a little.
Yes, be happy and proud to be yourself. What others think of you doesn't have to be what you think of yourself. You are honest enough with yourself to admit your feelings. That's a good start.
On the way up that mountain, you will reach good things. And you may find that, at the top of the mountain, there is a new land, and you will not fall down.
You will have good days and bad days. Sometimes people will say or do hurtful things. You might wonder why. You might think it's your fault. You might think sometimes it's all too much to fight against. -- Remember that there are good things, good people, even when so much seems to go wrong.
If you think your parents might kick you out or hurt you, then you need to prepare and get help, so that you stay safe and not on the streets, alone. Look for friends, neighbors, and relatives who can help you if you have trouble. Look for phone hotlines, shelters, and community centers for teens and/or gay people. There are even gay-friendly churches and synagogues.
There is good information on the web and in print about being gay. Be safe when you surf the web. It is a good idea to have your own private e-mail and to clear your cache and history when you surf the web.
I'm glad you are feeling better about things today.
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blue
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Likes it here |
Registered: August 2004
Messages: 131
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That's the spirit, Moogle. Good for you! 
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I wouldn't come out to your parents at this point. Maybe a best friend you can trust? I know how hard it is to keep this all inside...
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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I need someone to listen, please 
Re: I need someone to listen, please 
Re: I need someone to listen, please 
