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I took the advice of about ten people and i took the decision and i told my best friend, he's name is Jan and he's like 36/37, anyway i could always, always go to him and he would listen, ever cinse the day i almost killed him and he saved me (long story for another time). I felt him out, and he was cool so i went for it (feeling like my legs were jello). I told him i had something to tell him and i went and sat beside him on his porch, watching the ocean like always and I told him i thought i was gay and he was cool, i burst out in tears all over him and he asked me all the stuff i was supposed to ask him, (he reads my mind, im sure), he asked me if i was sure, and i said yes, and he asked me if i was still the kid from yesterday and i said yes. He picked me up, carried me to the kitchen and gave me a coke, smilled and he said he was glad i told him and got it of my back and said he was still my friend and smiled and kinda dried my tears with his hankerchief. :-/ i was kinda smiling through my tears and he told me hed always be there with his broad shoulder, so i cried some more and he took me homeee and sat on my bed and he kinda stayd there till i fell asleep. I woke up and posted this. Im kinda happy he took it so good, but i knew he would anyway. Ps. he also told me hed keep it secret till i wanted to tell anyone else (not for years, i think). And when i wanted to tell he would stand by me cos he knows my parrents (i pitty him cos he didn't ever have to meet him.but thats another story too)
A truth told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent
-William Blake
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Good judgemenat call. Now you have someone you can turn to in real life to get "stuff" sorted out, too. We all need that.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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blue
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Likes it here |
Registered: August 2004
Messages: 131
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Hey, Dewald,
I'm glad your best friend took your news so well. That is very good, for you to have someone safe to talk to in person and who will support you and keep your secret. I'm a year older than him, the way.
He is right, you know. You are still the same person. Being gay is just another part of being you, it isn't even the most important part of you. You didn't wake up like some alien monster. There isn't a big sign over your head. I bet you still look and sound the same. You feel better than just a couple of days ago, when you first posted here, and that is good.
~Blue
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P.S. --
Would you prefer Blumoogle here? I had to google for moogles, lol, That's what I get for not playing video games much. It seems it might make sense for me to like a Blumoogle.
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Wow. That took courage. I'm so glad your friend was so good about it--I could kiss his little toes for being so good about it. I bet you felt such relief knowing that someone knew and didn't freak about it.
the hardest thing about being in the closet for me was the uncertainty of it all...fear and anxiety over what to expect when someone did find out.
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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BTW--i'm thinking from your screen name that you must be a FF player--cool!
"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
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I told my best friend, and he's so cool about it 
