A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Awkward date
Awkward date  [message #22987] Thu, 25 November 2004 13:39 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



The 25th of November is a date that has, for years, wrenched my heart. For the last three years it has wrenched it less. For 36 before that it was substantially more difficult. You see the then boy, now man that I fell for when I was 13 was born on 25 November 1951 (though my mind tricks me into thinking it might have been 26th sometimes).

He wasn't as wonderful as I thought, nor as beautiful as I thought. He was just a boy. He is just a man.

I do think kindly of him. I doubt he does of me. But that does not matter. He has a life and I hope he is happy with it. Truly. May his family love him and may he be proud of them.

This year it is easier to make this wish than last year. And last year than the year before. During the period when I was obsessed I was inconsolable for no valid reason on his every birthday. Now I am simply wistful


Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Awkward date  [message #22988 is a reply to message #22987] Thu, 25 November 2004 15:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shawn is currently offline  Shawn

Toe is in the water

Registered: July 2004
Messages: 69



Hugs, timmy. YOU are a beautiful man....inside, where it counts, and the outside looks good too. Smile (I saw your pictures on the web site when you were in school, woohoo).

Shawn
Re: Awkward date  [message #22993 is a reply to message #22987] Fri, 26 November 2004 06:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joesdog is currently offline  joesdog

Likes it here
Location: USA
Registered: June 2004
Messages: 252




You're making progress, TImmy--good on you! It's a hard thing to be so enamored of a man and not have that affection returned. The interesting thing that i see here is that despite being eaten up with love and desire for this man, you haven't let it spoil your life. You've lived fully and well in spite of it, and that speaks well for your character.

cheers!

aj


"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
Re: Awkward date  [message #22994 is a reply to message #22993] Fri, 26 November 2004 07:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



aj wrote:
> The interesting thing that i see here is that despite being eaten up with love and desire for this man, you haven't let it spoil your life. You've lived fully and well in spite of it

The issue is that I really did not. I am only now starting to learn to.

This "non relationship" has been the entire driving force behind this site. To try to help even one boy not to walk this road. If I have helped just one away from unrequited obsession then it has been worthwhile.


Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Awkward date  [message #22996 is a reply to message #22988] Fri, 26 November 2004 07:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I recognise now that I was easy on the eye. I wonder who fancied me way back then? Half scary!

[Updated on: Fri, 26 November 2004 07:43]



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Awkward date  [message #23098 is a reply to message #22994] Sat, 11 December 2004 06:08 Go to previous message
dormouse3@hotmail.com is currently offline  dormouse3@hotmail.com

Toe is in the water
Location: US
Registered: July 2004
Messages: 40



timmy wrote, resonding to AJ's post:
"This 'non relationship' has been the entire driving force behind this site. To try to help even one boy not to walk this road. If I have helped just one away from unrequited obsession then it has been worthwhile."

A quintessential example of NO CLOUD WITHOUT A SILVER LINING. What you’ve created is nothing short of miraculous. Normally reticent people feel able to open up within the group you’ve formed. There’s such warming, caring kindness emanating from every post. And it all starts with you. “Thank you” seems totally inadequate, but speaking personally, it’s totally heartfelt. d


"Remember what the Dormouse said:
"Feed your head; feed your head."
--Jefferson Airplane - WHITE RABBIT
Previous Topic: No promises
Next Topic: Board Speed
Goto Forum:
  

[ Syndicate this forum (XML) ] [ RSS ]
We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну
We support Ukraine We support Ukraine We support Ukraine We support Ukraine
We support Palestine — We support Palestine — We support Palestine
We support Palestine We support Palestine We support Palestine We support Palestine

Please read our Copyright Statement, Disclaimer, and Privacy Policy , which opens in a new screen.
There are no age checks on this forum. If the law says you need (eg) parental consent to post here then you need that consent.
Frankly, we think such laws are silly. They do young people more harm than good. How can you possibly ask questions on a gay forum without coming out to your parents if you need consent?
So it is up to you. If you post here we assume that you are of legal age to do so or have consent if not, and we do not want to know any different
We treat everyone as having good sense and mature judgement.