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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Why?
icon9.gif Why?  [message #23788] Thu, 17 February 2005 11:57 Go to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



Why is it that we hurt most the ones we love the most?



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: Why?  [message #23789 is a reply to message #23788] Thu, 17 February 2005 12:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



paradoxically it is because we care for them and trust them and feel we know precisley what they are thinking. So we speak. And when we speak we forget that they are separate individuals with their own hopes and fears, with their own thoughts.

And just sometimes we are careless, all unknowing, and we hurt them without seeing that we were about to.

And at that point, however hard we apologise we have hurt them. And all we can hope is that they see that we were just being silly.

I have just dome the same to someone.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Why?  [message #23801 is a reply to message #23789] Fri, 18 February 2005 06:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joesdog is currently offline  joesdog

Likes it here
Location: USA
Registered: June 2004
Messages: 252




It's also true that we speak more plainly and (ideally) more truthfully to the ones we love, and because they love us, they don't have the normal defenses to us that they have to everyone else. So, it behooves us to tread lightly and gently around those who are dear to us, even as we tell them what we think they need to hear.



"I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind/ I promise not to mind if you go your way and i go mine/promise not to lie if i'm looking you right in your eye/promise not to try not to let you down."
--Eve6
Re: Why?  [message #23807 is a reply to message #23801] Fri, 18 February 2005 13:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
tBP is currently offline  tBP

Likes it here
Location: England
Registered: February 2004
Messages: 242




people who love each other know each other too well, you have a greta power over each other, you can hurt htem in ways no one else can, simply because of the love and bonds there are between you. but the love never dies, even after they've been hurt, they still love you, you just have to make it up to them, show them you still care and that you're sorry.



Odi et amo: quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, set fieri sentio et excrucior
Re: Why?  [message #23808 is a reply to message #23788] Fri, 18 February 2005 14:54 Go to previous message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Because we don't know the people we don't know.

Therefore, unless you are in a position of power you are unlikely to influence their lives in any way.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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