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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Unbelievable, but a true account of a chatroom:
"Hmmm... Something thats been bothering me... Maybe someone here can explain to me... The other day... call me shelterd, but I was in a chatroom on gay.com..... And all of a sudden I see on the main board this person saying neg bottom looking for poz top...... -_-... WHY would you be doing that???? So then all of a sudden I notice that these people are all over the place.... looking to be HIV +... I'm having a little trouble comprehending this... I mean... Is it just me? I'm usually an accepting person, and odn't care what people are into as long as it doesn't unwillingly hurt somneone or kill themselves... so....I dunno... I justcan't accept this... Whats the deal???? I asked one SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!! who came in... who WANTED to be +..... WHY!!!! like... wtf er soo young... why would you do that to yourself???? and hes like... well I wanna be + its a fantasy I've had... -_-... And he also said "and I wanna spread that sh*t like wild fire" ...... is there anythign wrong with that picture??? I dunno I guess I'm rambling here.. but.... that whole situation bothers me, especially for that 16 year old.... So please... someone??? explain this to me.. (*clears throat* maybe some of you uh... **whispers** Elders.... **cleanrs throat** can help me on this one.... hehe."
It seems there are insane people everywhere. I don't understand this either. Would anyone care to help me out iwth this?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Actually I don't believe it. I mean unless they just wanted to somehow speed the process. And why they would want to do that is beyound me cuz once you have the virus it's not like your going to die, I mean not right away. As things stand they'll just end up on meds for the next decade or so till they find a cure, or till you die of old age. And I mean if they really want to get HIV they don't have to advertise, all they would have to do is go out and have a lot of unprotected sex which to my mind would be a whole lot more fun, then you would end up with all kinds of other STDs that there are no real treatments for and in combination with HIV would make things a lot worse. I'd like to say here one of the big things about HIV these days is not that it can potetually kill you. in the western world with the meds we can live full long lives, even if they don't find a cure any time soon. The cost though is well, very high, I mean in dollars 20 to 30 thousand a year for me and I am realitivly healthy
I'ld like to find out more though. I wouldn't mind discussing their reasoning behind this. Most of us are so sexually disfunctonal that it could be a form of self punishment, and LOL(sorry not really funny) it just shows how little they know about what's goin on, if they say they want to spread the virus like wild fire hehe, that's already happening
Now as an HIV+ my experiance has been that when most people find you're HIV+ will quitely exit the room. What I am saying is in all the years i have been dealing with HIV no one has ever come to me and asked if i would have unprotected sex with them so they could get the virus. Can you imagine the can of worms that would be opened if an HIV+ did infect an underaged teen. Man they would, as the old saying goes, throw you under the jail
 . Then if they did get the virus and did infect someone else with it without informing whom ever they are have sex with that they had HIV they themselves would be eligable for a long stretch in prison where i understand the term bottom take on a whole new meaning
OK I could go on and on, there is so much more I could say. The upshot is this. I have heard of this kind of thing before and have discussed it with other's that are HIV+, Medicos and social workers. The general consensus is that where this may truely take place in reality it's prolly very rare. And frankly I think they would have a hard time finding anyone that knows they are HIV pos intentionally infecting them, although this is not unheard of either.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I have heard about virus chasers. I find it "odd" at best. I also wonder if it is an urban myth.
I know what you mean about people quietly leaving the room. But itls just an infectious ailment. In truth that is all it is. And it is onmly special because no-one can yet do more than control it with evil concoctions of drugs.
I am more afraid of MRSA than of HIV. One catches you, the other you catch. And I don't recall that hugging you transmitted HIV to me a few years back 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I've been thinking about this thread all afternoon. It's a pretty complex subject. I think that "virus-chasers" are MUCH rarer than urban legend has it, but I've rather occasionally seen behaviour that comes extremely close to it, and I suspect that it does have a foundation in fact.
So why? I think arich has it largely right when he says "Most of us are so sexually disfunctonal that it could be a form of self punishment," - actually, I don't think it's most of us, but some - especially younger people - do very much go through that. I also think it could be related to one of the stages that parents often experience when they find out / are told their son is gay - the stage of denial. HIV infection is (absolutely wrongly, of course, in a world context) often seen as a 'gay problem'.
Put these together and my guess would be that especially younger / newly-out guys uncomfortable with their sexual identity, unfamiliar with the range of lifestyles that gay people can follow, and whose self-esteem is at rock bottom, and whose parents (etc) refuse to believe that they're "really" gay, get trapped into a reaction of "I'll show them all just how gay I really am and then they'll be sorry".
After all, in the UK at least, tabloid newspapers have been pushing a barely-disguised line of "All faggots deserve the gay plague" for many years now. Yes, I do *fully* realise quite how offensive and erroneous that phrase is - and I hesitated before putting it so crudely - but for an isolated rural guy this may have been ALL he "knew" about gay people before discovering the liberated world of the net, or moving to a large city.
And I very much agree with arich - the half-dozen or so guys who I know that have told me they are HIV+ all seem to be very concerned to minimise risk to even the most casual of partners (and, actually, the HIV+ guy I knew best had been in an exclusive monogamous relationship for over a decade when I knew him ... 'nother stereotype bites the dust!).
This is, self-evidently, a very personal guess at what might possibly motivate someone to actively seek to become HIV+ : others will no doubt disagree strongly (but please do so gently and politely!).
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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i am sorry if this is going to come out as opinionated, small-minded, mean, or whatever...
but i see + people more often than i'd like to at work and that shit's not something to be glamourised... what the hell? i mean seriously. SERIOUSLY. not only that but to SPREAD it?? if you want to eff yourself up then fine, whatever, you deserve it if you're laying down and asking for it. but SPREADING IT.
i currently regularly draw a patient that is probably going to be gone within the year. i am the only one who will draw him because everyone else in my effing lab is too "scared" to. idiots. but to ASK FOR IT. and THIS PISSES ME OFF i mean you have NO IDEA.
i really wish that post was a joke, or, the people in the room that prompted that person's text was just shock-value...
i realise this is probably hypocritical coming from someone who glamourises (except i dont really....) her eating disorder, but again, if i'm stupid enough to starve then i'm stupid enough to deserve heart failure, heart attacks, stroke from electrolyte imbalances and death or osteoperosis or whatever. but ITS NOT A SPREADABLE DISEASE.
oh god i need to stop this post now, i'm sorry, i am.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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There is a movie i think may give some insight and say things much better than I. If I may though, I'll preface it by asking you to remember that this movie was made about a different time, though not so long ago, during the time AZT ( the first drug to control the virus) first went in to trial's and one that is in my cocktail of meds.
The movie is "Angles in America", it will give you a good look at the effects of having to deal with this virus before the meds, Both for those that aquired the virus and the loved ones of those that had it.
To me it's like the effect of dropping a stone in a pond, though the stone is now stationary on the bottom of the pond. Funny how it takes so long for society to catch up with reality. Then it was such a scarry reality there for a while.
Timmy it is always a joy to find people where the virus I carry is not an issue and over the course of many years now, building up a core of people I know online and more importantly in RL that have known almost from the beginning my + status.
If you haven't seen this movie please do.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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