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Hello to all
I turned 15 in January and have known for about a year that I am gay. Generally speaking it has been pretty good because of supportive friends and family etc.
I have recently met this guy and I really like him but the only problem is that I don't know if he's gay. I introduced my 'fag hag' to him and she reckons she is 110% sure he is gay, but I still have my doubts. He has wonderful personality not to mention SOOOOO GOODAMN good looking. You guys with good taste would SIMPERLY DROOL if you saw him. Hag was having trouble rolling her tongue back in her mouth when she saw him.
People tell me just to go up to him and ask him straight up if he is gay. I blatently refuse to do that because not only is it extremely rude but an invasion of his privacy! I am a little bit inconfident around him and I don't feel secure enough to go up and say hi; I might say something that will make me look stupid! I guess the best thing to do is just to get talking and maybe just drop off some small hints that I am gayl
He is such a wonderful boy and I couldn't bear to just ignore him. Does anyone have any ideas?
Regards
Justin
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Does he know, and is it generally known that you are gay? If so it becomes easier.
Are you also his friend already?
And could your fag hag introduce you?
Don't rush. You can't spoil it by waiting but you can by rushing
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hi Justin,
I don't think I am really in much of a position to answer as I'm in much the same position as you - and have been for about the past seven years! In fact, I've been asking some fairly similar questions on this board over the past few days.
I agree - I would feel that it was rude to ask someone flat out "are you gay?" - even people who are may be embarrassed into saying that they are not. But a little subtle innuendo is fine. If someone is actually gay then they are likely to notice it, and if they are not then they probably wouldn't.
That said, I really don't have much experience in these matters. I'm sure Timmy knows better. On the whole, I think it's really worth it to get to know people as friends first. Even if they turn out not to be gay then at least you have them as friends. And if they are good friends and they are straight, they won't think any less of you if you come out to them eventually.
Good luck!
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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One does not ask a total stranger out on a date..... Not in the str8 or the gay world as well....
It is better to become casually aquainted with the person and lever into his circle of friends while also allowing him into your circle.
As a friendship begins to develop you (and he as well) will become better aware of the others likes and desires. This growing degree of mutual comfort on a social level then will lead to friendship.
Friendship is the foundation in any relationship. Be a friend first and then, it will become apparent if more is possible.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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